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the_ignored
SFN Addict
2562 Posts |
 Posted - 04/23/2002 : 16:27:32
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I've sent a letter to the people who run the "Left Behind" web site (at www.leftbehind.com). If I get any replies, I'll let you know.
quote:
It seems that the events on earth are covered pretty well (with the exception of the minor detail of how the 200-million army can march from the Far East to the Middle East when there's no water anywhere for them to drink--this is, after all one of the LAST judgements! If you could answer that, please let me know!), but it seems that not much is said about what happens to people who are Raptured--other than a judging and a dinner. How are they supposed to act during this? Here are some ideas I've found. Please let me know what you think:
Men - During your Rapturous ascent to Heaven, remember not to look up the skirt of any pretty girls above you.
Do not ask the Angelic Choir if they know any Black Sabbath.
Keep your cloud tidy. Baby Jesus likes nothing less than seeing a cloud littered with empty soda cans (no beer, remember?).
Keep your harp in tune at all times. Can you imagine the racket made by sixty billion off-key instruments?
Pointing and laughing at the sinners in Hell below is extremely bad manners, no matter how much they deserve it.
Hanging around the Pearly Gates to see the look on the faces of atheists, Hindus, Muslims etc. is frowned upon in polite circles. This folly can only be compounded if you also wear an "I told you so!" T-Shirt.
Replying to prayers in a loud, booming voice is the height of vulgarity.
If your murderer was Born Again whilst in jail, at least pretend to be polite if you should bump into him/her.
You should refrain from wearing your crucifix necklace - certain Important people have unpleasant memories about those things...
Use your Angelic Visitation Rights wisely, and not for such things as haunting castles, spooking people you didn't like, or "haunting" changing-rooms.
No, God will not tell you the Ultimate Answer now, so don't pester Him about it.
Also, Adam and Eve are requesting that people stop asking them about "the apple incident".
There is still no excuse for eating with your elbows on the table.
Don't even try to "know" someone (in the Biblical sense).
You may have been able to belch the alphabet on Earth, but nobody wants to hear it up here, thank you.
No pets.
No cameras.
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the_ignored
SFN Addict
2562 Posts |
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Lars_H
SFN Regular
Germany
630 Posts |
 Posted - 04/23/2002 : 17:13:22 [Permalink]
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They probably will find the joke quite funny and feel not at all insulted. Or do you think that someone who is making so much money of those idiots actually belives in it themselves?
That is like writing a politician a letter making fun of his voters for actually buying his lies. The politician already knows that they were stupid to trust him and is having much more fun at their stupidty than you or could ever have.
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the_ignored
SFN Addict
2562 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2002 : 23:45:00 [Permalink]
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Well, here's the reply. They don't seem to have read the second half of my letter, or else they would not have asked me to re-post.
quote:
This sounds like a great question for the Left Behind Series Messageboard
and/or the authors. If you'd like to write to the authors directly, please
visit their respective Web sites at www.jerryjenkins.com and
www.timlahaye.com.
Admin
leftbehind.com
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James
SFN Regular
USA
754 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2002 : 05:26:13 [Permalink]
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They didn't read the damn thing at all, the_ignored.
Typical.
________________________
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Two more years...Two more years...Two more years...Two more years...Two more years...
*whine* |
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