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Grand Nubian
Skeptic Friend
USA
73 Posts |
 Posted - 07/14/2002 : 17:49:34
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I came across this here
http://pub50.ezboard.com/fcollectiveshadowfrm26.showMessage?topicID=10.topic
1. TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT
(1) God exists.
(2) If God exists, then if reason exists then God exists.
(3) Reason exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
2. COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) If I say something must have a cause, it has a cause.
(2) I say the universe must have a cause.
(3) Therefore, the universe has a cause.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
3. ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) I define God to be X.
(2) Since I can conceive of X, X must exist.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
4. ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) God exists.
(2) Since God exists, God must be perfect.
(3) That which is perfect must exist.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
5. MODAL ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) God exists.
(2) God, existing, is either necessary or unnecessary.
(3) God is not unnecessary, therefore God must be necessary.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
6. TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) Check out that tree. Isn't it pretty?
(2) Therefore, God exists.
7. ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES
(1) My aunt Helen was most likely to die from cancer.
(2) She didn't.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
8. MORAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) Person X, a well-known atheist, was morally inferior to the rest
of us.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
9. MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling,
child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
10. ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God
exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to
understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be
uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.
11. ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no God then we're all going to die.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
12. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.
13. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole
thing to you stupid atheists -- it's too complicated for you to
understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
14. ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys -- you're
obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say
can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and
you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God
so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world,
that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth" John
3:16.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
15. ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF
(1) If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
(2) I believe in God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
16. ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.
17. PARENTAL ARGUMENT
(1) My mommy and daddy told me that God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
18. ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS
(1) Millions and millions of people believe in God.
(2) They can't all be wrong, can they?
(3) Therefore, God exists.
19. ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY
(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.
20. ARGUMENT FROM ECONOMY
(1) God exists, you bastards!
(2) Therefore, God exists.
21. BOATWRIGHT'S ARGUMENT
(1) Ha ha ha.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
22. DORE'S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.
23. ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY
(1) Eric Clapton is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
24. ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
25. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.
26. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM
(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
27. MITCHELL'S ARGUMENT
(1) The Christian God exists.
(2) Therefore, all worldviews which don't assume the Christian God's existence are false and incomprehensible.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
28. ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (I)
(1) Atheists are spiritually blind.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
29. ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)
(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Ray Charles is blind.
(4) Therefore, Ray Charles is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.
30. ARGUMENT FROM FALLIBILITY
(1) Human reasoning is inherently flawed.
(2) Therefore, there is no reasonable way to challenge a proposition.
(3) I propose that God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
31. ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS
(1) God exists.
(2) I don't give a crap whether you believe it or not; I have better things to do than to try to convince you morons.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
32. ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS
(1) @#%$ you.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
33. ARGUMENT FROM MANIFESTATIONS
(1) If you turn your head sideways and squint a little, you can see an image of a bearded face in that tortilla.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
34. SLATHER'S ARGUMENT
(1) My toaster is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
35. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPLETE DEVASTATION
(1) A plane crashed killing 143 passengers and crew.
(2) But one child survived with only third-degree burns.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
36. ARGUMENT FROM POSSIBLE WORLDS
(1) If things had been different, then things would be different.
(2) That would be bad.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
37. ARGUMENT FROM SHEER WILL
(1) I DO believe in God! I DO believe in God! I do I do I do I DO believe in God!
(2) Therefore, God exists.
38. ARGUMENT FROM NONBELIEF
(1) The majority of the world's population are nonbelievers in Christianity.
(2) This is just what Satan intended.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
39. ARGUMENT FROM POST-DEATH EXPERIENCE
(1) Person X died an atheist.
(2) He now realizes his mistake.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
40. ARGUMENT FROM EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
(1) God loves you.
(2) How could you be so heartless to not believe in him?
(3) Therefore, God exists.
41. ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENT BABBLE
(1) See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently?
(2) That's how infinite wisdom reveals itself.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
42. OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (I)
(1) The human spirit exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
43. OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Check out this video segment.
(2) Now how can anyone watch that and NOT believe in God?
(3) Therefore, God exists.
44. CALVINISTIC ARGUMENT
(1) If God exists, then he will let me watch you be tortured forever.
(2) I rather like that idea.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
45. ARGUMENT FROM CROCKERY
(1) Pots don't go around giving orders to the potter.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
46. ARGUMENT FROM MASS PRODUCTION
(1) Barbie dolls were created.
(2) If Barbie dolls were created, then so were trees.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
47. ARGUMENT FROM PAROCHIALISM
(1) God is everywhere.
(2) We haven't been everywhere to prove he's not there.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
48. ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION
(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, God exists.
49. ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS
(1) Ask atheists what caused the Big Bang.
(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
(3) Continue process until the atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
(4) You win!
(5) Therefore, God exists.
50. ARGUMENT FROM INCREDULITY
(1) How could God NOT exist, you bozo?
(2) Therefore, God exists.
51. ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY
(1) The Bible is true.
(2) Therefore, the Bible is historical fact.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
52. ARGUMENT FROM RESURRECTION
(1) Proof of God's existence will be available when you rise bodily from your grave.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
53. ARGUMENT FROM BIOGENESIS
(1) Where did Adam come from, dummy?
(2) Therefore, God exists.
54. ARGUMENT FROM STEADFAST FAITH
(1) A lot of really cool people believed in God their entire lives.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
55. ARGUMENT FROM LONELINESS
(1) Christians say that Jesus is their best friend.
(2) I'm lonely, and I want a best friend.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
56. ARGUMENT FROM ARGUMENTATION
(1) God exists.
(2) [atheist's counterargument]
(3) Yes he does.
(4) [atheist's counterargument]
(5) Yes he does!
(6) [atheist's counterargument]
(7) YES HE DOES!!!
( [atheist gives up and goes home]
(9) Therefore, God exists.
57. ARGUMENT FROM CREATIVE INTERPRETATION
(1) God is:
(a) The feeling you have when you look at a newborn baby.
(b) The love of a mother for her child.
(c) That little still voice in your heart.
(d) Humankind's potential to overcome their difficulties.
(e) How I feel when I look at a sunset.
(f) The taste of ice cream on a hot day.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
58. ARGUMENT FROM INSECURITY
(1) We have gone to absolutely berserk lengths to establish that atheists are laughable morons.
(1.5) Actually, we did so in the hopes of curing our own insecurities about theism -- but there's no chance in hell we'll ever admit that.
(2) Therefore, atheists are laughable morons.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
59. ARGUMENT FROM SUPERIORITY
(1) If God does not exist, then I am an inferior being, since I am not "special" in a cosmic sense.
(2) But I am superior. Because I am a Christian.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
60. ARGUMENT FROM PERFECTION
(1) If there are absolute moral standards, then God exists.
(2) Atheists say that there are no absolute moral standards.
(3) But that's because they don't want to admit to being sinners.
(4) Therefore, there are absolute moral standards.
(5) Therefore, God exists.
61. ARGUMENT FROM HUMAN NECESSITY
(1) Atheists say that they don't need God.
(2) Which just goes to show that they need God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
62. ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (I)
(1) Intellectually, I know that the existence of God is impossible, or vastly improbable.
(2) But I must put on the appearance of being cool and intellectual in front of my Christian apologist peers.
(3) Therefore, I must pretend that (1) is false.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
63. ARGUMENT FROM INDULGENCE
(1) Atheists like to think that they can control their emotional desires.
(2) But they're atheists, so they can't.
(3) Therefore, atheists feel the need to indulge in whatever they feel like without worrying about committing sin.
(4) This just goes to show how they need God in their lives.
(5) Therefore, God exists.
64. ARGUMENT FROM HATE
(1) Some atheists hate Christians and Christianity.
(2) That's why they don't believe in God.
(3) Pathetic, aren't they?
(4) Therefore, God exists.
65. ARGUMENT FROM QUENTIN SMITH
(1) Quentin Smith says that God does not exist.
(2) But God does exist.
(3) Therefore, Quentin Smith cannot be accepted as an expert on the matter, because he is wrong.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
66. ARGUMENT FROM EVIL SPIRITS
(1) I've just had contact with evil spirits.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
67. ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (II)
(1) Atheists say that God doesn't exist.
(2) But they only say that because they want to look cool and intellectual in front of their peers.
(3) They don't fool me!
(4) Therefore, God exists.
68. ARGUMENT FROM HOVIND'S CHALLENGE
(1) Kent Hovind offers $250,000 (which may or may not exist) to anyone who can demonstrate evolution (defined as a natural, acausal origin of the universe) to a reasonable doubt (meaning with 100% certainty, allowing for no other possibilities whatsoever) in front of a neutral committee (handpicked by Hovind himself) and according to certain criteria (carefully worded so as to rule out any possibility whatsoever of the challenge ever being met).
(2) No atheist has ever met this challenge.
(3)Therefore, God exists.
69. ARGUMENT FROM INSANITY
(1) No sane person could have thought up Christianity
(2) Therefore, it must be true
(3) Therefore, God exists
ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)
1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?
2) Atheist: of course.
3) How about the slightly modified proposition X'?
4) Atheist: Um, no, not really.
5) Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?
6) Atheist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!
7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well?
Atheist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway?
9) I'm glad we all agree.....
....
37) So now we have used propositions X, X', Y, Y', Z, Z', P, P', Q and Q' to arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed?
3 Atheist: Like I said, so far I've only agreed with X. Where is this going?
....
81) So we now conclude from this that propositions L'', L''' and J'' are true. Agreed?
82) I HAVEN'T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS GOING!?
....
177) ...and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ'' and BTU' are all obviously valid. Agreed?
17 [Atheist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust]
179) Therefore, God exists.
71. MR. GOODSALT'S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM GENERAL INQUIRY)
1) Question for atheist population: [apparently random question]
2) Your answer is wrong.
3) Therefore, God exists.
72. PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM ORIGINALITY
1) I have written the following to demonstrate the existence of God.
2) [insert entire text of a William Lane Craig article]
3) Therefore, God exists.
73. PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM LIMITED VOCABULARY
1) You use lots of big words.
2) Therefore, I cannot possibly be expected to understand your refutation of my position.
3) Therefore, God exists.
74. PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM SELECTIVE MEMORY
1) [Christian asks "stumper" question]
2) [Atheist answers question]
3) [A lapse of time]
4) [Christian repeats question]
5) [Atheist repeats answer]
6) [A lapse of time]
7) [Christian repeats question]
[Atheist repeats answer]
9) [A lapse of time]
10) Atheist, you never answered my question.
11) Therefore, God exists.
www.AtheistRadio.com ~Listen to it!
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Espritch
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2002 : 19:31:31 [Permalink]
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I found the ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION particularly compelling.
BTW. This kind of reminds me of a recent thread discussing a Christian Apologetics site that featured a number of arguments for God. Most of them were surprizing similar to the ones listed except that that used a lot more words (shouldn't there be an ARGUMENT FROM WORDINESS?).
Edited by - espritch on 07/14/2002 19:32:19 |
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The Rat
SFN Regular
Canada
1370 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2002 : 19:48:21 [Permalink]
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quote:
51. ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY
(1) The Bible is true.
(2) Therefore, the Bible is historical fact.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
Sounds a lot like the circular reasoning argument I posted a while back. It goes like this;
God exists!
Prove it.
The bible says so!
How does that prove it?
It's the revealed word of god!
Prove it.
God says so!
Bailey's second law; There is no relationship between the three virtues of intelligence, education, and wisdom. |
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PhDreamer
SFN Regular
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2002 : 21:23:29 [Permalink]
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Most of these, and many more, can be found here: http://facts4god.faithweb.com/index.html
...for those who missed it before.
Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous.
-D. Hume |
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2002 : 22:07:06 [Permalink]
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Ah yes, I believe it's #157 that's very similar to my situation. My brother and his wife currently have guardianship of my daughter. Ah well, I'll keep my mouth shut a bit longer.
---
...no one has ever found a 4.5 billion year old stone artifact (at the right geological stratum) with the words "Made by God."
No Sense of Obligation by Matt Young |
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Grand Nubian
Skeptic Friend
USA
73 Posts |
Posted - 07/15/2002 : 00:29:43 [Permalink]
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PHD,
That site is hilarious! Thanks for sharing it. I've found something to play with for a while.
www.AtheistRadio.com ~Listen to it! |
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PhDreamer
SFN Regular
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 07/15/2002 : 20:02:54 [Permalink]
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quote:
Ah yes, I believe it's #157 that's very similar to my situation. My brother and his wife currently have guardianship of my daughter. Ah well, I'll keep my mouth shut a bit longer.
You know, if you gotta vent, you gotta vent. Hope everything's alright.
Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous.
-D. Hume |
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PhDreamer
SFN Regular
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 07/15/2002 : 20:03:52 [Permalink]
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quote:
PHD,
That site is hilarious! Thanks for sharing it. I've found something to play with for a while.
3 or 4 of those are mine, too!
Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous.
-D. Hume |
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Satan
New Member
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2002 : 19:26:29 [Permalink]
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 A friend of mine has successfully used several of these infallible proofs to try and convince me that fundamentalism is the only way to go! Alas, blind Andrew has failed to see the logic of these arguments and the error of my diabolical ways because I am blinded by Satan (wait, can I do that to myself?).
But we've neglected the argument that the U.S. gov't has given us:
75. ARGUMENT FROM RIGHTS
1) The Decl. of Independence founded the U.S.
2) Therefore, the D. of I. is true.
3) The D. of I. says that our rights are "endowed by our Creator."
4) George W. agrees with this.
5) You have rights, don't you???
6) Well where the f*** do you think they came from???
7) Therefore, God exists.
And don't forget to extend this argument:
1) God exists.
2) Therefore, my God exists.
3) Therefore, Jesus is God.
4) Therefore, Jesus was born of a virgin (how can you be divine after having originated from that ABOMINATION!!!)
5) Therefore, anyone who disagrees with the statement that virgins can give birth is an atheist who deserves to burn in hell for eternity.
Just Lucifer's $0.02.
Satan,
a.k.a. the Talking Snake Whom Atheists, Witches, Muslims, and Puerto Ricans Worship (If You Ask Anyone In This State) |
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Satan
New Member
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2002 : 19:33:39 [Permalink]
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On the same note, I thought I would share from a bit of fundamentalist propaganda (of apocalyptic flavor, er . . . fervor?):
Tim LaHaye, through his mouthpiece Jerry Jenkins, writes in Are We Living In The End Times?:
"Never trust any teacher who does not believe in the virgin birth of Jesus, His sinless life, sacrificial death, bodily resurrection, and His promise to come again physically to this earth."
"Babylon is the mother of all false religions and Jerusalem is the mother of the true faith."
"To demonstrate [his] point, [the apostle] Peter reached back into history and with superb logic developed a line of reasoning too deep for some of the best-educated minds of our day [fortunately we are here to guide our Christian sheep to the Truth!]."
But, regarding skeptics, LaHaye and Jenkins have the following assessment:
"Yet high-minded people, usually those of advanced degrees [note LaHaye's doctorate!], dogmatically oppose moral teachings and prefer the immoral practices of humanism."
 Damn straight!
Satan,
a.k.a. the Talking Snake Whom Atheists, Witches, Muslims, and Puerto Ricans Worship (If You Ask Anyone In This State) |
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PhDreamer
SFN Regular
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2002 : 19:54:39 [Permalink]
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quote:
75. ARGUMENT FROM RIGHTS
1) The Decl. of Independence founded the U.S.
2) Therefore, the D. of I. is true.
3) The D. of I. says that our rights are "endowed by our Creator."
4) George W. agrees with this.
5) You have rights, don't you???
6) Well where the f*** do you think they came from???
7) Therefore, God exists.
I like! Mind if I post this on Infidels, from whence it can be added to the aforementioned online collection? Attributed to your bad self, of course!
Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous.
-D. Hume |
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2002 : 10:14:17 [Permalink]
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quote:
You know, if you gotta vent, you gotta vent. Hope everything's alright.
Ah, would be better were I able to provide her with the excellent school she's in (I can't afford that area of town) and medical/dental/optical insurance. I just don't take a stand against certain things. Time to wait until I'm on firmer ground, for now.
---
...no one has ever found a 4.5 billion year old stone artifact (at the right geological stratum) with the words "Made by God."
No Sense of Obligation by Matt Young |
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Satan
New Member
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2002 : 15:22:57 [Permalink]
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quote:
I like! Mind if I post this on Infidels, from whence it can be added to the aforementioned online collection? Attributed to your bad self, of course!
Sure, although it can hardly be attributed to me - our friends in the gov't came up with it, I just presented it in a sarcastic manner. But anyway . . .
Satan,
a.k.a. the Talking Snake Whom Atheists, Witches, Muslims, and Puerto Ricans Worship (If You Ask Anyone In This State) |
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