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walt fristoe
SFN Regular
USA
505 Posts |
 Posted - 11/19/2003 : 10:53:40
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Someone posted this over at IIDB, and I thought you guys'd get a kick out of it:
Over 300 proofs of God's existence
And there are even more proofs:
More proofs
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"If God chose George Bus of all the people in the world, how good could God be?"
Bill Maher |
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rickm
Skeptic Friend
Canada
109 Posts |
 Posted - 11/19/2003 : 15:36:26 [Permalink]
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That truly,is some of the dumbest arguments I have ever read in support of the existence of god.
267. ARGUMENT FROM DENTAL OPPORTUNITY
(1) Bite me.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
Need I say more.
Surely this is not a serious attempt at proving god's existence.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
-- Woody Allen, Without Feathers, 1975 |
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2003 : 19:02:35 [Permalink]
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Looks like some of them could only be explained by the author. Maybe 267 is about, since you can bite me and I'm real, God exists. I'd have to say, there are people that seriously dumb.
I recognize a few that I'm embarassed to say, have heard a few friends or family members say.
And I could add a few of them here...
345 ARGUMENT FROM NORMAL DRIVING
(1) I prayed to survive driving thru the intersection even though the light was green
(2) I made it through without being hit
(3) God answered my prayer
(4) Therefore, God exists
346 ARGUMENT FROM LOST AND FOUND
(1) I lost a watch years ago
(2) I found the watch recently in my house
(3) It's a miracle
(4) Therefore, God exists
348 ARGUEMENT FROM GAINS IN MEDICAL SCIENCE
(1) He had a heart attack from sinful living
(2) A stranger administered CPR and saved his life
(3) Therefore, God exists
349 ARGUMENT FROM HELPFUL PERSON
(1) I'm elderly with a flat tire
(2) A stranger changed the tire
(3) God was watching over me
(4) Therefore, God exists
350 ARGUMENT FROM NATURE
(1) These rocky hills are just beautiful and inspiring
(2) Therefore, God exists
.......Anyone else have some to add? |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
| Edited by - Randy on 11/19/2003 19:28:07 |
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Gorgo
SFN Die Hard
USA
5310 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2003 : 19:06:20 [Permalink]
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| Pretty funny stuff. Funny because it's so close to what theists really think. |
I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears
But it's alright-
Jerry Garcia
Robert Hunter
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Vegeta
Skeptic Friend
United Kingdom
238 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2003 : 19:38:33 [Permalink]
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quote:
Surely this is not a serious attempt at proving god's existence.
Course it isn't, this site's been floating round for ages. Half the atheist humour sites link to it. My favourate one is 'Argument by guitar mastery' |
What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a pink shirt before?
"I was asked if I would do a similar sketch but focusing on the shortcomings of Islam rather than Christianity. I said, 'No, no I wouldn't. I may be an atheist but I'm not stupid.'" - Steward Lee |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 11/20/2003 : 04:44:23 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Vegeta
quote:
Surely this is not a serious attempt at proving god's existence.
Course it isn't, this site's been floating round for ages. Half the atheist humour sites link to it. My favourate one is 'Argument by guitar mastery'
Indeed. And it has been quietly and humorously evolving along. I keep a link to it in my Favorites and re-visit occasionly.
A couple of years ago, I was bitten by a southern copperhead (Agkistrodon c. contortrix). As I am sensitive to horse serum, I did not have the bite treated. I not only survived, but there was only minimal, permenemt damage to my hand.
Therefore God exists.
This actually happened, and of course, it re-enforced my faith tremendously.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 11/20/2003 : 05:03:22 [Permalink]
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351 ARGUMENT FROM JUST A PLAIN DUMBASS POSITION
(1) Hitler killed millions
(2) A child falls from a swing and dies
(3) God works in mysterious ways
(4) Therefore, God exists
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"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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LouWags
New Member
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2003 : 14:02:17 [Permalink]
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Just goes to show that if you do good things for people, they will attribute it to god and you're just furthering their delusions. Therefore, you've only done them a disservice over the long haul.
Conclusion: Helping people only hurts them more!
--Wag--
Another offering of infallible logic from a twisted mind. |
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moakley
SFN Regular
USA
1888 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2003 : 16:01:34 [Permalink]
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X42 Argument from good neighbor.
(1) Cleaned my elderly neighbor's gutters and roof while she was at church
(2) Her husband died a few years ago
(3) This is not the first time
(4) Therefore, I am god and I exist |
Life is good
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous |
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