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TG
Skeptic Friend
USA
121 Posts |
 Posted - 02/27/2004 : 09:27:58
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Jesus stops at an inn, plops down three nails, and says "Can you put me up for the night?"
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Terryt88
Skeptic Friend
USA
120 Posts |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2004 : 22:47:07 [Permalink]
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So a man named George Nim owned a business which manufactured and sold nails and other fasteners, called, originally enough, "Nim's Nails." George wasn't happy with the way his business was headed, however, and decided he needed to do some serious advertising. So he contacted a fairly-cheap ad agency, and started talking with one of the execs.
George and the exec, a man named Barney, talked for a long while, and George was finally convinced to let Barney handle everything: creating an ad, filming it, and buying air time. Still, it cost a tidy sum, and George was fairly nervous. But Barney kept reassuring him, and then got down to work.
Two months go by, and Barney calls George to tell him to turn on his TV, channel 4, at 8 PM one night. Prime advertising slot! George is rather pleased with this, as he didn't think the money would go that far. So he sits down in front of his TV at the appointed time...
...And sees a beautifully-filmed piece in which a Corvette is racing through winding mountain roads. The camera is following the car, just slightly above and behind it, as the vehicle negotiates sharp turns and even complete hairpins with ease. It's going up the mountain, higher and higher, until viewers can see that it's reaching the peak. As the sky beyond starts to come into view, the car drops away down the road on the other side, and the camera keeps going up...
...Revealing a giant crucified Jesus. Blood drips from his wounds, his face in agony. And above it all, in shining gold letters, is written "Try Nim's Nails!"
George is furious, and calls Barney to let him know. After a long discussion, Barney finally calms George down, and tells him that it'll all be okay, once he sees next week's advertisement. And George, down a lot of cash already, sees no other course of action but to trust Barney.
A week later, again at 8, George sits down and turns on his TV. Again, he sees the Corvette zooming up the winding mountain road. Again, the camera continues into the sky as the peak is reached. But this time, all that's there is an empty cross. The view stays there for just a couple of seconds, and then makes a sudden cut.
Now, viewers are watching two Roman Centurions as they run through the desert. Their armor clanks, the horsehair atop their helmets flows in the wind. They're obviously chasing after something. And finally, one of them turns his head to the other and shouts, "you idiot! I told you we should have used Nim's Nails!" |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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TG
Skeptic Friend
USA
121 Posts |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 03/11/2004 : 20:54:47 [Permalink]
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| Ah, the 'Passion of Photoshop'. Great site, Dave. |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 16:17:11 [Permalink]
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http://images.ucomics.com/comics/bo/2004/bo040401.gif
Edited for copyright considerations(@tomic)
Edited to add 'thanks' |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
| Edited by - Randy on 04/01/2004 21:40:41 |
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byhisgrace88
Formerly "creation88"
USA
166 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 17:53:10 [Permalink]
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Why is it that everyone can make jokes that they know will offend the christian population, but if I wanted to could not make a joke about African-Americans, or Jews if I wanted too? (not that i want to, im just making a point) What if I started making jokes about Martin Luther King and all his affairs? Why would everyone jump all over me, calling me a racist and insensitive? How about if I started making jokes about the Holocaust? It would offend Jews, but jokes about Jesus' death offend us and that does not seem to stop anyone.
People seem to forget that Christians have also been persecuted for there beliefs throughout the ages. But I have been told on this web site before as justification for offensive jokes toward Christians that, because I myself have not expierienced persecution that it is ok for "light hearted" jokes to be made.
If anyone thinks they can explain this to me, I would be much abliged. |
Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desire, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.-- C.S. Lewis |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 18:07:51 [Permalink]
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Creation88 wrote:quote:
Why is it that everyone can make jokes that they know will offend the christian population, but if I wanted to could not make a joke about African-Americans, or Jews if I wanted too?
Because your religion is a choice you've made. African-Americans and Jews were persecuted not for the choices they've made, but instead because of their genetics, which is something they could never change.
Frankly, if you started making jokes about MLK's love affairs, I might very well laugh along with you. If you make jokes based on nothing but the color of his skin, then you would be branded a racist. And surely you see the difference between the facts, horror and utter waste of the Holocaust, and one person's alleged sacrifice which was required to give you salvation (according to your beliefs, that is).
Also, I'd like for you to show me just when and where Christians have been persecuted just for their beliefs in the last 1,600 years. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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Robb
SFN Regular
USA
1223 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 18:44:24 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by creation88
It would offend Jews, but jokes about Jesus' death offend us and that does not seem to stop anyone.
creation88, The only way to stop it is to pray. |
Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. - George Washington |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 21:19:23 [Permalink]
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Robb wrote:quote:
creation88, The only way to stop it is to pray.
Do you have any evidence that this proposed method of social change works?
On a different point, is not this a much greater offense to Christian sensibilities? Applying the symbol of the religion to something so ordinary as a coffee mug? Conservatives have been screaming for years about "those commie flag burners," but for eight bucks you can have a symbol of Christ which is microwave and dishwasher safe! In other words, it is designed for abuse, and the manufacturers expect a person to treat it without the respect the cross should deserve from the devout.
The only "joke" here is that the site selling the mug (see Terryt88's post, above) is the "website of official licensed products for Mel Gibson's movie The Passion of the Christ."
In short, that mug represents the wholesale commercialism of Christianity.
Were I to have such devotion to a god, my ire would be reserved for those who (like the above web site) make a mockery of my beliefs while pretending to share them. The unfaithful who make jokes would be but a petty annoyance in comparison. After all, Jesus taught that those of His followers who are attacked or mocked by the heathen are blessed. He sure didn't bless those who sell miniature replicas of the instruments of His torture for $50 each, however. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend
Sweden
9688 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 22:13:46 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
Robb wrote:quote:
creation88, The only way to stop it is to pray.
Do you have any evidence that this proposed method of social change works?
Don't let that stop them.
As long as they are busy praying, they won't have time to work at legislating religious dogma. |
Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3
"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse
Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder. |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2004 : 22:55:22 [Permalink]
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Dr. Mabuse wrote:quote:
As long as they are busy praying, they won't have time to work at legislating religious dogma.
Unfortunately, I believe that not a few of them are praying for certain legislation to be passed... |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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moakley
SFN Regular
USA
1888 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2004 : 05:54:12 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
Robb wrote:quote:
creation88, The only way to stop it is to pray.
Do you have any evidence that this proposed method of social change works?
You mean just the sheer number of people who believe that prayer does work isn't compelling evidence. Are you one of those people who believe prayer is nothing more than a solicitation to an omniscient being to change its mind or to do what it had already planned on doing. |
Life is good
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous |
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tomk80
SFN Regular
Netherlands
1278 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2004 : 20:14:25 [Permalink]
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quote:
Because your religion is a choice you've made. African-Americans and Jews were persecuted not for the choices they've made, but instead because of their genetics, which is something they could never change.
Somehow I doubt that being jewish is a genetic affair 
These groups were persecuted because they were different, something you're doing with christians just as well if you're making fun of them and which is something people shouldn't do (I'm a bit in a twist here, cause I do love the jokes  ).
I do think that this forumtopic is clear enough in it's subject, so if people get offended by it, they have quite a big enough warning sign to not go here. |
Tom
`Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, `if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'
-Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Caroll- |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2004 : 21:52:28 [Permalink]
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According to the Jews, if your mother is Jewish, you are Jewish. There is, indeed, a Jewish "look," and it's not a fashion statement. I know you put a smiley on the end of that sentence, tomk80, but in reality, there are diseases which Jews get more than others, and a host of other reasons to believe that the Jews consist largely of a genetically-identified "group." Of course, there are converts to Jewish beliefs nowadays, but how many of them were put to death by the Nazis?
You also wrote:quote:
These groups were persecuted because they were different, something you're doing with christians just as well if you're making fun of them and which is something people shouldn't do (I'm a bit in a twist here, cause I do love the jokes ).
No, they weren't persectued simply "because they were different," they were persecuted because their oppressors believed them to be sub-human and inferior. I, for one, don't believe Christians are inferior to me in any way, especially since I know I have beliefs that they find laughable. And along those lines, I don't find Biblical-literalist beliefs (such as held by several members of the SFN, and expressed to a certain degree in Passion) to be substantially different from the nuttiest belief you could think up. For example, that peanut butter is actually made from extra-terrestial alien visitor corpses. Or that an aluminum-foil hat will stop the government's mind-control rays (as if the government is so stupid as to use a technology for mind control which could be stopped by a thin sheet of aluminum).
In general, everyone finds some beliefs so ridiculous they can't help but mock them. Alternative-medicine fanatics regularly mock the beliefs of those who think that the FDA really is a consumer-protection agency. Christians mock (and even lie about) the beliefs of those with no religion, or the beliefs of religions alien to them. For some people, the mockery is a necessary coping device, especially when one's beliefs run counter to reality. For others, the mockery is simply an amusing way to deal with obvious nutcases.
As I explained to creation88, making fun of things which people cannot change is cruel. Making fun of even their most deeply held belief, however, is mostly "fair game" as far as I'm concerned. Especially when, as in the case of "Nim's Nails," the humor is absurd no matter what you believe.quote:
I do think that this forumtopic is clear enough in it's subject, so if people get offended by it, they have quite a big enough warning sign to not go here.
Yeah, there is a certain aspect of "well, if you don't like nudity, why'd you go into the bar with the 'all-nude girls' sign on it?" here. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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