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Slater
SFN Regular
USA
1668 Posts |
 Posted - 08/02/2001 : 22:25:48
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No this isn't a joke. It was in my in box this morning.
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Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48 hours!!!! s8
BE ORDAINED NOW!
As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!!
WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!
Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.
FUNERALS
A very hard time for you and your family
Don't settle for a minister you don't know!!
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.
BAPTISMS
You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"
What a special way to welcome a child of God.
FORGIVENESS OF SINS
The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries
**Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the better!!
VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!!
Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock
WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!!
At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let's talk about how much the program is
worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I'd say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn't you
agree? However, it won't cost that much. Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average
folks can benefit from the power of it.
Since I know how much you want to help others, you're going to receive your Minister Certification for under $100.00... Not
even $50.00... You are going to receive the entire life-changing course for only $29.95.
For only $29.95 you will receive:
1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL.
(CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS)
2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!!
3. SHIPPING IS FREE!!!
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LIMITED TIME OFFER: ORDER TODAY!
SEND Only $29.95 US
(CREDIT CARD, CASH, CHECK, OR MONEY ORDER)
SHIPPING IS FREE!!! For Shipping OUTSIDE the US please add $11.00.
To place your order merely fill out the following form and fax to 1-775-908-2608. If this line is busy, please try faxing to
1-419-821-7221.
or mail to:
Internet Information Services
PO Box 21442
Billings, MT 59104
(ALL ORDERS FILLED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIVING THEM)
*Please allow 8 days to receive your certificate by mail.
If you do not receive your order within 10 days, please send us a fax letting us know of the late arrival. We will then contact
you to figure out why you have not received your order.
*************************
Credit Card Order Form
(Please print very clearly in dark ink)
Name on Credit Card:
Address:
City/State/ZIP:
Your email address:
Your card will be charged $29.95 for your Ministers' Certificate.
For Shipping OUTSIDE the US please add $11.00.
Type of Card, circle one (Visa, MasterCard, American Express)
Credit Card Number:
Date Credit Card Expires:
Please tell us your phone Number:
Please tell us your fax Number:
To order by Check or Money Order:
MAKE YOUR CHECK PAYABLE TO:
Internet Information Services
(Please Print Clearly Your Name and Address)
Name:
Address:
City/State/ZIP:
E-mail Address:
Please tell us your phone Number:
Please tell us your fax Number:
(ALL ORDERS FILLED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIVING THEM)
*Please allow 8 days to receive your certificate by mail.
If you do not receive your order within 10 days, please send us a fax letting us know of the late arrival. We will then contact
you to figure out why you have not received your order.
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@tomic
Administrator
USA
4607 Posts |
 Posted - 08/02/2001 : 22:58:01 [Permalink]
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Hmmmmmmm......Reverend Slater has a nice ring to it 
@tomic
Gravity, not just a good idea...it's the law! |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2001 : 02:03:19 [Permalink]
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quote:
Your card will be charged $29.95 for your Ministers' Certificate.
What a deal. You can make that back from just one wedding. Go for it! Then you are on your way to a new career.
VHEMT |
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bestonnet_00
Skeptic Friend
Australia
358 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2001 : 02:55:50 [Permalink]
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That assumes one isn't above ripping people off.
Of course if you don't someone else will, so it isn't that bad.
Radioactive GM Crops.
Slightly above background.
Safe to eat.
But no activist would dare rip it out.
As they think it gives them cancer. |
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@tomic
Administrator
USA
4607 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2001 : 03:31:03 [Permalink]
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Sometimes how much you can rip someone off depends on how far back in line you are.
@tomic
Gravity, not just a good idea...it's the law! |
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Greg
Skeptic Friend
USA
281 Posts |
Posted - 08/16/2001 : 19:18:39 [Permalink]
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quote:
What a deal. You can make that back from just one wedding.
Not to mention all the tax benefits!
Greg.
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bestonnet_00
Skeptic Friend
Australia
358 Posts |
Posted - 08/17/2001 : 00:48:30 [Permalink]
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Oh yeah, the tax exempt status.
Thats why Mr Burns tried to start his religion, he was going bankrupt paying 2 c or so a year of taxes.
Radioactive GM Crops.
Slightly above background.
Safe to eat.
But no activist would dare rip it out.
As they think it gives them cancer. |
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