Skeptic Friends Network

Username:
Password:
Save Password
Forgot your Password?
Home | Forums | Active Topics | Active Polls | Register | FAQ | Contact Us  
  Connect: Chat | SFN Messenger | Buddy List | Members
Personalize: Profile | My Page | Forum Bookmarks  
 All Forums
 Community Forums
 General Discussion
 Oh Dear Abby, when will you learn?
 New Topic  Topic Locked
 Printer Friendly Bookmark this Topic BookMark Topic
Author Previous Topic Topic Next Topic  

BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard

3192 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2004 :  06:08:13  Show Profile Send BigPapaSmurf a Private Message
From Dearabby.com

Dear Abby:

My daughter, "Danni," is 36. She was heterosexual until she spent five years in prison. Ever since her release, she has been living in a lesbian relationship with a woman named "Marty." But sometimes she comes to my house and uses my computer to visit lesbian sites, trying to find another lover.

I hate the woman Danni is with now. I try to treat Marty with respect because I love my daughter. But I am considering trying to find a spell book and casting a spell to make Danni break up with Marty.

Do you know where I could find a book with spells in it? Marty is bigger than Danni. They got into a fist fight recently, and Danni came to me covered with bruises. Please tell me what to do. I don't know . . .

Witch Way to Turn

Let me "spell" a few things out to you. Your daughter should not be looking for another romance until after she has ended and healed from this one. Since her current relationship has turned violent, the book you should both be reaching for isn't a spell book -- it's your local phone book. If she is injured again, the police should be called and she should be taken to a hospital and her injuries photographed. Your daughter may need to obtain a restraining order to keep her girlfriend away.

The Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) should also be contacted. It won't be the first time it has gotten a call from a gay person. The experts there can help your daughter formulate an escape plan.

Also, please urge your daughter to contact the nearest gay and lesbian center and inquire about counseling services. Counseling will prevent her from jumping out of "the pen" and into another violent relationship.

"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History

"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini

Cuneiformist
The Imperfectionist

USA
4955 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2004 :  06:46:15   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Cuneiformist a Private Message
How tragic. The question and response seemed like they were not directed at each other, but rather at different people.

The main thrust of the writer is to find a spell (!) to sever the relationship of her daughter and girlfriend. Meanwhile, Abby, missing the point, gives a logical reply to how to deal with domestic abuse.

One would have liked Abby to drop a line about how spells are a waste of time (since there's no such thing as magic!), but doubtless she didn't want to offend her neo-pagan readers.

Left unaddressed is the question of how prison "turned" the daughter into a lesbian. Either "Danni" had lesbian tendancies throughout the first 31 pre-prison years and never told her mother (in which case prison was just the natural time to 'come out'), or her prison experience was so tramatic that she's latching on to it as a natural defense mechanism of some sort and needs help. Too bad the letter doesn't give enough information for us to know, and too bad Abby doesn't bring this up. Perhaps not to offend her lesbian readership?
Go to Top of Page

Ricky
SFN Die Hard

USA
4907 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2004 :  08:12:41   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Ricky an AOL message Send Ricky a Private Message
I disagree, I think Abby handled it quite fine. Keep in mind, her column is not in a skeptical magazine. She took a person asking for a spell and she ignored this giving an answer which seems to me to be correct - go get help.

You can't attack pseudoscience all the times guys, sometimes you just need to ignore it and deal with the more important problems such as domestic abuse.

Why continue? Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand who hug their superstitions to their breast.
- Isaac Asimov
Go to Top of Page

BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard

3192 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2004 :  08:45:12   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send BigPapaSmurf a Private Message
Oh I can attack it all the time all right, you just watch me!

"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History

"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini
Go to Top of Page

Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie

USA
4826 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2004 :  09:43:26   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Valiant Dancer's Homepage Send Valiant Dancer a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Cuneiformist

How tragic. The question and response seemed like they were not directed at each other, but rather at different people.

The main thrust of the writer is to find a spell (!) to sever the relationship of her daughter and girlfriend. Meanwhile, Abby, missing the point, gives a logical reply to how to deal with domestic abuse.

One would have liked Abby to drop a line about how spells are a waste of time (since there's no such thing as magic!), but doubtless she didn't want to offend her neo-pagan readers.


There are some psychological benefits to prayer (essentially what spell work is) for the person praying. It gives the appearance of doing something without actually doing it. We'll ignore the obvious ethical problems that neo-pagans would have with such a spell for the time being.

The main thrust is to find a spell (prayer) to manifest an outcome. Abby provides real help instead of debunking false help.

quote:

Left unaddressed is the question of how prison "turned" the daughter into a lesbian. Either "Danni" had lesbian tendancies throughout the first 31 pre-prison years and never told her mother (in which case prison was just the natural time to 'come out'), or her prison experience was so tramatic that she's latching on to it as a natural defense mechanism of some sort and needs help. Too bad the letter doesn't give enough information for us to know, and too bad Abby doesn't bring this up. Perhaps not to offend her lesbian readership?



I don't think the mother is questioning the lesbianism. She seems to have accepted that. She is questioning the abusive relationship and is seeking a metaphysical solution to a mundane problem.

Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils

Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion
Go to Top of Page
  Previous Topic Topic Next Topic  
 New Topic  Topic Locked
 Printer Friendly Bookmark this Topic BookMark Topic
Jump To:

The mission of the Skeptic Friends Network is to promote skepticism, critical thinking, science and logic as the best methods for evaluating all claims of fact, and we invite active participation by our members to create a skeptical community with a wide variety of viewpoints and expertise.


Home | Skeptic Forums | Skeptic Summary | The Kil Report | Creation/Evolution | Rationally Speaking | Skeptillaneous | About Skepticism | Fan Mail | Claims List | Calendar & Events | Skeptic Links | Book Reviews | Gift Shop | SFN on Facebook | Staff | Contact Us

Skeptic Friends Network
© 2008 Skeptic Friends Network Go To Top Of Page
This page was generated in 0.08 seconds.
Powered by @tomic Studio
Snitz Forums 2000