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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 04/28/2005 : 07:10:34
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Whilst browsing the Daily Rotton Library, an entertainment best recommended only to those bloody-minded souls who truly appreciate much that our contempories consider to be antisocial, disgusting, and even downright depraved, I happened upon this:
quote:
Rumors of a human-chimpanzee hybrid have abounded for centuries, but there hasn't been concrete proof. But then, how much proof do you actually need? Anyone who doubts that humans have fucked chimps hasn't met enough humans. Tune in to an episode of Comedy Central's "The Man Show," then tell me this hasn't happened.
Chimps and humans are so genetically similar as to be nearly indistinguishable, appearances aside. Science estimates that about 95-99% of our genetic code is identical to that of a chimpanzee. The similarity is roughly equivalent to the difference between donkeys and horses.
The practical upshot of this is that there is a very good chance that a human-chimp coupling could produce a viable offspring, just as donkeys and horses can mate to produce mules. (So don't forget to take condoms on that safari!)
So it's possible, according to the rules of science, and probable, according to human nature. So why isn't there a race of human hybrids out there wandering the earth?
Why not indeed, I ask?
Of course, a chimp is strong enough to manually dismember Triple H without breaking a sweat, and might object strenously to the dallience, but that minor detail can easily be overcome with chemstry.
I wonder; has it?
And here's another question of less than major interest: as chimps and humans are so closely related, might this still be considered beastiality, especally if issue comes of the union? And if not, could rape charges be brought?
And could this have been the conception of our current, alledged president? 
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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Cuneiformist
The Imperfectionist
USA
4955 Posts |
 Posted - 04/28/2005 : 07:51:02 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by filthy
Of course, a chimp is strong enough to manually dismember Triple H without breaking a sweat, and might object strenously to the dallience, but that minor detail can easily be overcome with chemstry.
Yeah, but what about Batista?  |
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woolytoad
Skeptic Friend
313 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 08:28:14 [Permalink]
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Obligatory joke.
Such a hybrid already exists |
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bloody_peasant
Skeptic Friend
USA
139 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 08:30:19 [Permalink]
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Yeah but the bonobos might actually like it with their high level of sexuality for pleasure (that is if you were good at it, otherwise they might just tear your arms off >:-D)
However the chromosomal mismatch may prevent conception or be lethal (but that's a bonus right >:-D) |
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bloody_peasant
Skeptic Friend
USA
139 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 08:31:49 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by woolytoad
Obligatory joke.
Such a hybrid already exists
I really wish people wouldn't insult chimps in such a way :< |
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend
Sweden
9688 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 13:57:35 [Permalink]
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This is indeed an interesting topic.
The ethical implications of a viable hybrid are staggering, and I supposed this is why no research is being made/haven't been presented. What rights should such a hybrid have? Should it be treated as a human or as a bonobo?
Yet, a living breathing hybrid would be the ultimate proof to creationists that bonobo and man are the same "kind". Hell... Screw the ethics as long as I get to see the faces of the creationists when they realize that we indeed are cousins! |
Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3
"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse
Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 15:12:05 [Permalink]
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Betcha a lot of them would change their tunes on abortion....
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Hawks
SFN Regular
Canada
1383 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 15:34:36 [Permalink]
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quote:
Yet, a living breathing hybrid would be the ultimate proof to creationists that bonobo and man are the same "kind".
Or at least they would not be so offended by the thought that we descended from chimpanzees (their claim, not mine).
quote:
Of course, a chimp is strong enough to manually dismember Triple H without breaking a sweat, and might object strenously to the dallience, but that minor detail can easily be overcome with chemstry.
We could of course pair a male chimp with a female human, in which case the extra strength might come in handy (I'm assuming that no female would volunteer. Right?). 
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METHINKS IT IS LIKE A WEASEL
It's a small, off-duty czechoslovakian traffic warden! |
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Dude
SFN Die Hard
USA
6891 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 16:20:12 [Permalink]
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The question of crossbreeding could be answered by any lab that can maintain cells in culture.
Just take human sperm and try to fertilize a chimp egg, and chimp sperm and try to fertilize a human egg.
A very simple lab procedure these days.
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Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson
"god :: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument." - G. Carlin
Hope, n.
The handmaiden of desperation; the opiate of despair; the illegible signpost on the road to perdition. ~~ da filth |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 17:29:26 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dude
The question of crossbreeding could be answered by any lab that can maintain cells in culture.
Just take human sperm and try to fertilize a chimp egg, and chimp sperm and try to fertilize a human egg.
A very simple lab procedure these days.
I think (not sure) that this has been done, and then the cells destroyed shortly afterward. Don't know the results.
I'll see if I can find something on it.
On the edit: According to this, it ain't on. Oh well; it was fun while it lasted... 
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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| Edited by - filthy on 04/28/2005 17:37:34 |
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Dik-Dik Van Dik
Skeptic Friend
United Kingdom
76 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 17:59:12 [Permalink]
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| wasnt there a chimp that had a slightly bald head and walked upright and had a number of other odd characteristics that people were calling a humanzee a while back? To me it looked like an odd chimp. it was still like 3 ft tall and hairy, but there were some odd things, behaviour-wise about it. |
DARWIN 3:16
"The simple believeth every word." - Proverbs 14:15
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 19:10:04 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dik-Dik Van Dik
wasnt there a chimp that had a slightly bald head and walked upright and had a number of other odd characteristics that people were calling a humanzee a while back? To me it looked like an odd chimp. it was still like 3 ft tall and hairy, but there were some odd things, behaviour-wise about it.
Yes, that was 'Oliver.' His story is told in the link I posted in the OP. He pertty much started this whole thing off.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Dik-Dik Van Dik
Skeptic Friend
United Kingdom
76 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2005 : 19:29:50 [Permalink]
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| oh right sorry i just read the quotes and assumed that was it. |
DARWIN 3:16
"The simple believeth every word." - Proverbs 14:15
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Starman
SFN Regular
Sweden
1613 Posts |
Posted - 04/29/2005 : 00:48:28 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by woolytoad
Obligatory joke.
Such a hybrid already exists
There are even some speciments from other continents. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 04/29/2005 : 03:02:58 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Starman
quote:
Originally posted by woolytoad
Obligatory joke.
Such a hybrid already exists
There are even some speciments from other continents.
Oz has many odd creatures the like of which are found nowhere else in the world.
So Ham is a marsupial ape.... Y'know, that might explain a lot.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Topic Locked
