|
|
|
Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
 Posted - 05/17/2001 : 12:17:11 [Permalink]
|
Had a friend who's husband put her in the hospital. She didn't leave until she miscarried because of the beatings. She just disappeared, never let anyone know where she went.
Another is still with her drunken abusive husband for that reason, because she's not allowed to leave for religious reasons. Actually thinks that the more she lets him put her down, less he'll get angry with her. Lost her too, she's not allowed to see me because I'm a bad influence. Occasionally run into her at the store.
Guess that's why I get so angry at that kinda nonsense.
Trish |
 |
|
|
Lisa
SFN Regular
USA
1223 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2001 : 13:08:45 [Permalink]
|
That is so sad. Makes me sick when I hear stuff like that. Why don't these women see themselves as people, instead of objects?
My husband is agnostic, and actually enjoys slamming men who have the "women should keep their place" attitude. He told one guy he worked with "If you want unquestioning love and obedience, I'll buy you a puppy".
Lisa
Who do you serve? Who do you trust? |
|
|
|
Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2001 : 13:40:20 [Permalink]
|
quote:
"If you want unquestioning love and obedience, I'll buy you a puppy".
Have to remember that. Tho, my puppy was abused when I got him. Still shys from my hand occasionally. Hard to break that habit in humans and dogs.
Trish |
|
|
|
Boron10
Religion Moderator
USA
1266 Posts |
Posted - 05/25/2001 : 02:59:00 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Why don't these women see themselves as people, instead of objects?
Most women (and men) in abusive relationships somehow convince themselves that they are much better off enduring the abuse than they would be on their own. Some believe it is their fault that the one they love is harmful to them. Many feel there is no place else to go: "How would I take care of myself if I left Johnny? I'm 40 years old with no employment record." The first is obviously not true; the second, however, is less obvious. There are support facilities in almost every city for victims of abuse. These places will help victims begin a new life, find a job, and gain independence. There is a great book, Captive Hearts, Captive Minds: Freedom and Recovery from Cults and Other Abusive Relationships, by Madeleine Landau Tobias, et al, that discusses common controlling tactics used by those who abuse their mates, and draws a parallel between abuse and cults. I highly reccomend it to anyone who knows a victim of either.
|
|
|
|
Marc_a_b
Skeptic Friend
USA
142 Posts |
Posted - 05/25/2001 : 07:02:04 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Most women (and men) in abusive relationships somehow convince themselves that they are much better off enduring the abuse than they would be on their own. Some believe it is their fault that the one they love is harmful to them. Many feel there is no place else to go:
In my friend's case she didn't know that her relationship was not normal. She thought all guys were like that. It was from interacting with me and her other friends that she learned different. After that it was her kids that kept her there. She loves her kids and won't abandon them. His family is very influential in the area so it gave her doubts about her ability to get away.
But she finaly did it! Left and took the kids with her. She is perfectly willing to work joint custody, but the guy is an asshole. Last I heard the guy tried snagging his sons, but left the daughter behind, doesn't care about her.
Hope she's doing well
|
|
|
|
Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 05/25/2001 : 18:45:20 [Permalink]
|
Unfortunately, some women grow up seeing abuse between their parents and assume that's how it's supposed to be. With so many sources of outside information you'd think more would have access to the truth of their situation. Guess, one good point for daytime talk.
The one friend I still see occasionally is five years younger than I am, but she's afraid no one will want to marry her with two kids attached. Don't see why she thinks she has to be married to be happy, but that's the way she thinks. Cornered her yesterday at the store, sat and shared a coffee. I just don't get the concept of having to have someone, maybe been on my own too long but these women need more confidence in themselves.
Spinnin' my wheels and gettin' no where - fast |
|
|
 |
|
Topic Locked
