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Othello
New Member
2 Posts |
 Posted - 02/25/2006 : 19:36:34
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I am dealing with a student that thinks she is bi. I contacted another teacher that is lesbain and was shocked at her anger toward this subject. She believes people are NOT bisexual, they are just in "denial" of their true sexual orientation. She claims that lesbians are frequently "burned" by people claiming to be "bi".
This left me confused about how to help this child. I am going to contact the psychologist the school uses, and get advice. The girls is afraid to "come out" to her family (she is 17 years old). Usually there are great support services for kids that come out as homosexual, but am afraid this girl is going to get a lot of flack from her family and the gay community.
Any suggestions?
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"We who have never believed falsehoods, have no need to fear the truth." K.Woolfe |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2006 : 19:57:04 [Permalink]
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First, welcome to the SFN site, Othello!
Warning: I'm a layman, so untutored "common sense" is the only kind I can offer, at best.
I think bisexuality is as "real" as heterosexuality or homosexuality. I, too, have talked with a Lesbian who once was upset with bisexuals, and called them "dishonest heterosexuals". But this stemmed from her own personal experience with one of them. Calmed down, she later admitted that what she didn't like was simply that bisexual's flip-flopping. The Lesbian didn't deny the reality of bisexuality, after she chilled out. I leaned from this Lesbian that such feelings of "bisexuality-denial" are rather common among some Lesbians. Your Lesbian teacher associate may well be expressing such feelings.
Your student may well "go" one way or the other at a later date, or may remain bisexual. I'd say that depends on factors that would be very hard to see in advance, and may well be unknowable. Meanwhile, I'd just take the girl's word for it.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 02/25/2006 20:26:39 |
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marfknox
SFN Die Hard
USA
3739 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2006 : 20:38:04 [Permalink]
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I find it very sad that the homosexual community has often fallen to the same sort of bigotry as straights regarding bisexuality. Bisexuality is quite real. The myth that it is not real is perpetuated because so many gay people go through a stage where they think they might be bi, and also because a lot of young straight people experiment (often while intoxicated) with gay sexual acts. But there is plenty of evidence for legitimate bisexuality. Alfred Kinsey's studies from the 40's indicated that most people are at least somewhat bisexual, whether they act on it or not.
Here is an extensive list of bisexual people in both ancient and modern history who were bisexual: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_bisexuals |
"Too much certainty and clarity could lead to cruel intolerance" -Karen Armstrong
Check out my art store: http://www.marfknox.etsy.com
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2006 : 21:03:58 [Permalink]
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marfknox replied: quote:
I find it very sad that the homosexual community has often fallen to the same sort of bigotry as straights regarding bisexuality. Bisexuality is quite real. The myth that it is not real is perpetuated because so many gay people go through a stage where they think they might be bi, and also because a lot of young straight people experiment (often while intoxicated) with gay sexual acts. But there is plenty of evidence for legitimate bisexuality. Alfred Kinsey's studies from the 40's indicated that most people are at least somewhat bisexual, whether they act on it or not.
Here is an extensive list of bisexual people in both ancient and modern history who were bisexual: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_bisexuals
I agree completely.
I think one reason bisexuality-denial happens is because bisexuality seems, on the face of it, to contradict the generally accepted thinking that sexual orientation is inherent, probably already programmed at birth. I hasten to say I also believe this. Bisexuals make some homosexuals uncomfortable because they often appear to be able to switch their orientation at will. But instead of taking bisexuals to be some kind of silent menace, I think the wiser way of looking at the issue is to suppose that bisexuals inhabit some kind of middle-ground between true homosexuals and full-time heterosexuals.
So the "menace" disappears, with such thinking. Bisexuality doesn't disprove the "gay from the womb" argument. It's simply irrelevant to it.
But even if gays and Lesbians accept this way of looking at bisexuals, there's still the problem with them ticking off both homosexuals and heterosexuals by being perceived to "flip-flop."
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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marfknox
SFN Die Hard
USA
3739 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2006 : 22:22:33 [Permalink]
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| Maybe the more important question on this issue is: who cares? I mean, people are people, and individuals are going to go about their relationships each in unique ways. We all read about what statistics say, but no statistics say 100% of anything. Love and relationships are a highly personal and complex social phenomenon. Any person questioning their sexuality should be encouraged to explore different identities, so long as they consider their own well being and are honest with any people that they get into a relationship with. Honesty with ourselves and others is a hard lesson that we all learn when we start forming sexual relationships. That is, unless we marry the first person we have any kind of feelings for and physical relations with, and that scenerio is quite rare these days. Not to mention that divorce is always a possibility. |
"Too much certainty and clarity could lead to cruel intolerance" -Karen Armstrong
Check out my art store: http://www.marfknox.etsy.com
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| Edited by - marfknox on 02/25/2006 22:23:33 |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2006 : 22:30:34 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Othello
I am dealing with a student that thinks she is bi. I contacted another teacher that is lesbain and was shocked at her anger toward this subject. She believes people are NOT bisexual, they are just in "denial" of their true sexual orientation. She claims that lesbians are frequently "burned" by people claiming to be "bi".
This left me confused about how to help this child. I am going to contact the psychologist the school uses, and get advice. The girls is afraid to "come out" to her family (she is 17 years old). Usually there are great support services for kids that come out as homosexual, but am afraid this girl is going to get a lot of flack from her family and the gay community.
Any suggestions?
I realize that in certain parts of the world and in the USA there are areas where things are more or less accepted. Don't know where you are so this is just a general statement.
What the hell in this day and age does anyone care or worry about being one thing or another. I only wish I was 17 again so I could show people who I rally am/was the way teenagers have the opportunity to do now. Why does there have to be all this nonsense of 'communities'? People are people and anyone who don't accept a person the way they are, they don't count. If a person loves someone, man or woman what difference does it matter what they call themselves? You meet someone, you care about them, male or female, you have a relationship. You either continue it with them or you move on if it doesn't work out. You find someone new. Big deal. Why think about if you are gay, a lesbo or 1/2 and 1/2. It's the person you are with at the time that matters. If they accept you, that's all that matters. Why dwell on it so much? Don't waste time thinking about it. Live your life.
Everyone gets disapointed with 'love' at one time or another. Lesbo or not. Deal with it! Geesss! |
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Siberia
SFN Addict
Brazil
2322 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2006 : 05:59:27 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Snake
quote:
Originally posted by Othello
I am dealing with a student that thinks she is bi. I contacted another teacher that is lesbain and was shocked at her anger toward this subject. She believes people are NOT bisexual, they are just in "denial" of their true sexual orientation. She claims that lesbians are frequently "burned" by people claiming to be "bi".
This left me confused about how to help this child. I am going to contact the psychologist the school uses, and get advice. The girls is afraid to "come out" to her family (she is 17 years old). Usually there are great support services for kids that come out as homosexual, but am afraid this girl is going to get a lot of flack from her family and the gay community.
Any suggestions?
I realize that in certain parts of the world and in the USA there are areas where things are more or less accepted. Don't know where you are so this is just a general statement.
What the hell in this day and age does anyone care or worry about being one thing or another. I only wish I was 17 again so I could show people who I rally am/was the way teenagers have the opportunity to do now. Why does there have to be all this nonsense of 'communities'? People are people and anyone who don't accept a person the way they are, they don't count. If a person loves someone, man or woman what difference does it matter what they call themselves? You meet someone, you care about them, male or female, you have a relationship. You either continue it with them or you move on if it doesn't work out. You find someone new. Big deal. Why think about if you are gay, a lesbo or 1/2 and 1/2. It's the person you are with at the time that matters. If they accept you, that's all that matters. Why dwell on it so much? Don't waste time thinking about it. Live your life.
Everyone gets disapointed with 'love' at one time or another. Lesbo or not. Deal with it! Geesss!
A-fuckin'-men. |
"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2006 : 08:03:12 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Othello
I am dealing with a student that thinks she is bi. I contacted another teacher that is lesbain and was shocked at her anger toward this subject. She believes people are NOT bisexual, they are just in "denial" of their true sexual orientation. She claims that lesbians are frequently "burned" by people claiming to be "bi".
Sound like she got burned. She is not typical of GBLT community members. Several organizations exist. Some web resources that may be helpful to her would be www.bisexual.org and www.biresource.org . She may be able to find a support group near her to help her deal with the questions she has.
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Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils
Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2006 : 23:50:39 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Ricky
quote:
People are people and anyone who don't accept a person the way they are, they don't count.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Thanks. Do you know what book that is from? I've only read one (Dr. Seuss book)and that was years ago. Sounds like it could possibly be from that one.
Anyway, it's a good idea. |
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InsultMohammed
New Member
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 03/06/2006 : 14:11:46 [Permalink]
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That is a fantastic quote, and I live by it daily.
Of course there are bi-sexuals. Confusion has nothing to do with it. To say that a bi person is confused is just as bad as saying a homosexual is confused. There's no confusion about it. Some people like the opposite sex, some people like the same sex, some people like both. Now, what could indeed aggravate a lesbian who is with a bi girl might be that the bi girl merely enjoys sexual encounters with both men and women, but prefers or requires male companionship outside of the bedroom. Maybe the bi girl doesn't get along well with most women, but, she finds them attractive and deals with it to get what she wants. No, they shouldn't lead their same sex mate to believe that the relationship is anything more than sexual in nature, but that wouldn't make them confused, it would make them selfish.
Some people are confused. I had a girlfriend who was straight, WAIT no, she's bi, WAIT no, she's a lesbian, WAIT no, she's bi again. What fun that was. No, seriously. |
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend
Sweden
9688 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 22:49:03 [Permalink]
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I don't believe there actually is such a bi-polar, or tri-polar state, as hetero- bi- or homo-sexual. I'd like to think of it more as a complete spectrum though most people are more or less hetero. Perhaps it's a bell curve or something.
I heard a friend of mine say once: "I'm not a heterosexual man, I'm a lesbian woman trapped in a man's body". That made me think that at least once during everyone's lifetime everyone entertains the fantasy of temporarily switching body with the opposite sex, just to see what it feels like.
Sexuality is a too complex behaviour to be locked into an either/or stereotype. |
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