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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 07/21/2008 : 20:10:27
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Greetings. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Dr. Norman Duh, PhOD. Those letters appended to my name signify that I possess a doctorate degree in the Philosophy of the Obvious from a major university.
This new column of mine will take selected questions, and I will provide their obvious answer. With any good fortune, actual questions from my readers will, in due time, come. Meanwhile, I must perforce "prime the pump" so to speak, by artificially providing the first questions. Note, however, that the questions below are not entirely fictitious, as I am asked exactly these kinds of lame questions all the time.
Enough of introductions. Let us now proceed directly to the questions, and their obvious answers:
Dear Doctor Duh:
Who died and made you the great expert? Where do you get off, anyway?
Jessie M, Literal, Kansas |
That's two questions, but just this once, I will tackle them both.
1. Einstein. It was in his will.
2. The tram stop at 24th and Franklin.
Dear Doctor Duh:
Is it true that design engineers often look to nature for their ideas?
Bill D, Fort Worth, Texas |
I would not so much say "often," but, rather, "never."
Actually, it works the other way around. The force of natural selection is opportunistic in the extreme. Evolution is always looking around or something new and cool to try.
Take frogs, for instance. Fifty years ago, you would have never encountered today's common hoverfrog. Now, the ground-effect fad is sweeping the animal kingdom, and even some plants are picking up on it. There are many other examples. Obviously.
Dear Doctor Duh:
I run a fake "museum" which rakes in millions by appealing to the ignorance of religious zealots and bigots. My museum is filled with transparent lies, misrepresenations, and slanders, but folks just eat it up and hand me fist-fulls of cash. Am I not a genius?
Ken H, Petersburg, Kentucky |
It's not that you are so smart, Ken, but that you have attracted a spectacularly stupid and ignorant following, dumber even than yourself. You are a genius in the same way that a pile of steaming dog feces is a genius because it attracts flies.
Now: Whats your dumb question?
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2008 : 20:26:22 [Permalink]
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| Now: Whats your dumb question? |
How many angles can be lanced with the head of a pin?
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2008 : 22:54:06 [Permalink]
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How many angles can be lanced with the head of a pin?
[Humbert H, Lolitaville, New York] |
I didn't see any "Dear Doctor," nor did you provide your location (which I had to track down, like some kind of cyber-stalker), so I ought to ignore you for impertinence. But I am in an unaccountably good mood tonight.
Quite a few of them may be lanced, if we are to go by the above contemporary photograph from 1066. But notice that the Angles are being lanced with lances, not with "pins."
Perhaps it would help if you mentally scaled up such images, using the human figures as a guide. They are meant to represent historical events, not act as full-scale two-dimensional models. Also, note that the lances are clearly being used serially, not to skewer as many Angles (or Saxons) as possible on a single shaft, like shish kabobs.
Also, though both the Angles and Saxons shown on the left, and the Normans on the right appear to have identical armor and shields, the Angles are using barbed spears (somewhat useful or pulling a man off a horse), while the Norman lances are not barbed at the rear of their heads, and are thus more suitable for quick, repeated stabbing. (Much like I feel like stabbing myself in the eyes when I read questions like yours.)Dear Doctor Duh:
When will the Dings return to these fine pages?
A. Hole, Northern, Virginia
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Unlike myself, the Dings are figments of HalfMooner's and your imaginations.
Next week.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 07/21/2008 23:45:55 |
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Ask Doctor Duh
