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BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard
3192 Posts |
 Posted - 06/22/2009 : 03:33:46
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See the new post below for the full horror...
So did anyone catch the first half of ABCs new miniseries exploring just just how badly one can eviscerate science in a movie which is all about science? This makes Armageddon look downright feasable.
Long story short...here's the write-up
The world watches as a large meteor shower streaks across the skies. Hidden in the meteor field is a brown dwarf , a dead star. It smashes into the moon in a tremendous explosion of rock and debris. Fragments of the moon itself penetrate Earth's atmosphere and make impact. Even though initial damage is minimal, nerves are frayed throughout the planet. Experts quickly conclude there will be no lasting ramifications. Then strange anomalies begin to manifest themselves on Earth. It starts small -- cell phone disruptions, unusual static charges and odd tidal behavior. The world's leading scientists, including Alex Kittner (David James Elliott), Maddie Rhodes (Natasha Henstridge) and Roland Emerson (Benjamin Sandler), begin piecing together evidence that suggests that the moon and its orbit may have been permanently altered. Their fears are realized when the anomalies increase to the point where the effect of gravity is being manipulated by increased electromagnetic surges coming from the moon. People, cars and other objects are rendered momentarily weightless in random, isolated areas around the globe. Alex, Maddie, Roland and the rest of their team soon discover something far worse -- the moon's new orbit has put it on a collision course with Earth!
The world now has 39 days to stop the moon or Earth, or all of mankind will perish. After a failed attempt by the United States to destroy the moon, the scientific team works together to mount an international mission to the moon. Alex, whose children and father-in-law (James Cromwell) have gone missing, is torn as he must join Roland on the mission to the moon. It's a race against time as the two celestial bodies are drawn closer and closer to impact. |
I guesss no one bothered to note that the smallest brown dwarves are the size and mass of Jupiter when they decided to imbed one in the moon. Yes, the rest of it was as stupid as it sounds, particularly the gravity storms which randomly made things float.
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Edited by - BigPapaSmurf on 06/29/2009 05:05:49
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2009 : 04:03:10 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by BigPapaSmurf
So did anyone catch the first half of ABCs new miniseries exploring just just how badly one can eviscerate science in a movie which is all about science? This makes Armageddon look downright feasable.
Long story short...here's the write-up
The world watches as a large meteor shower streaks across the skies. Hidden in the meteor field is a brown dwarf , a dead star. It smashes into the moon in a tremendous explosion of rock and debris. Fragments of the moon itself penetrate Earth's atmosphere and make impact. Even though initial damage is minimal, nerves are frayed throughout the planet. Experts quickly conclude there will be no lasting ramifications. Then strange anomalies begin to manifest themselves on Earth. It starts small -- cell phone disruptions, unusual static charges and odd tidal behavior. The world's leading scientists, including Alex Kittner (David James Elliott), Maddie Rhodes (Natasha Henstridge) and Roland Emerson (Benjamin Sandler), begin piecing together evidence that suggests that the moon and its orbit may have been permanently altered. Their fears are realized when the anomalies increase to the point where the effect of gravity is being manipulated by increased electromagnetic surges coming from the moon. People, cars and other objects are rendered momentarily weightless in random, isolated areas around the globe. Alex, Maddie, Roland and the rest of their team soon discover something far worse -- the moon's new orbit has put it on a collision course with Earth!
The world now has 39 days to stop the moon or Earth, or all of mankind will perish. After a failed attempt by the United States to destroy the moon, the scientific team works together to mount an international mission to the moon. Alex, whose children and father-in-law (James Cromwell) have gone missing, is torn as he must join Roland on the mission to the moon. It's a race against time as the two celestial bodies are drawn closer and closer to impact. |
I guesss no one bothered to note that the smallest brown dwarves are the size and mass of Jupiter when they decided to imbed one in the moon. Yes, the rest of it was as stupid as it sounds, particularly the gravity storms which randomly made things float.
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"Stop the world, I want off!"
Naw, I didn't see it. I rarely watch such things, or even very much TV at all. But it reads like a barrel of laffs -- gotta link?
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard
3192 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2009 : 04:36:30 [Permalink]
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| I can't wait for the conclusion where I get to hear how exactly they plan on "destroying the moon" in 39 days. One nuke at a depth of 800 feet should do it. |
"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History
"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2009 : 05:52:28 [Permalink]
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| The world's leading scientists, including Alex Kittner (David James Elliott), Maddie Rhodes (Natasha Henstridge) and Roland Emerson (Benjamin Sandler), begin piecing together evidence that suggests that the moon and its orbit may have been permanently altered. |
Had I hair enough to make it practicable, I would now be tearing it out in huge clumps, instead of simply screaming unintelligibly.
"The world's leading scientists," indeed. It must have taken the very best researchers to "piece together" the subtle evidence (apparently so subtle that all the other scientists missed it) that the Moon's orbit has been altered so its perigee now intersects the earth's surface. (I Am Not An Astrophysicist, but that would be subtle, right? I mean, not many people have access to telescopes powerful enough to see the Moon.) It seems that even after the Moon's collision with a bloody brown dwarf star, Spaceguard has been paying too much attention to calculating the orbits of NEAR asteroids, and hasn't noticed that the Moon has gone rogue.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 06/22/2009 05:54:46 |
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astropin
SFN Regular
USA
970 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2009 : 09:15:38 [Permalink]
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Sounds Hilarious
I must admit to the guilty pleasure of enjoying "Armageddon". I've probably seen it 5 times now.
The science is so bad it makes me laugh out loud. The acting is so over the top it makes me laugh out loud.....what can I say...I find it very enjoyable. |
I would rather face a cold reality than delude myself with comforting fantasies.
You are free to believe what you want to believe and I am free to ridicule you for it.
Atheism:
The result of an unbiased and rational search for the truth.
Infinitus est numerus stultorum |
| Edited by - astropin on 06/22/2009 09:18:38 |
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BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard
3192 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2009 : 10:32:06 [Permalink]
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| Yeah it's hard to top "a comet the size of texas" spliting in two 100k miles from Earth and amazingly the two halfs pass on either side safely. Spaceships manuvering like planes and I love how they 'detected' the fault lines in the comet so they would know where the single nuke could split the comet at a depth of 800 feet. |
"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History
"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini |
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BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard
3192 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2009 : 05:43:17 [Permalink]
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I could only stand to watch the first and last twenty minutes of the conclusion, it is truly Epic on a Stupid scale, thank me for watching the nightmare for you...
So to recap
1. A "piece of a Brown Dwarf?!?" strikes the moon.
2. It doesnt leave a crater but gouges a giant canyon in the side.
3. It's a rocky looking asteroid thing only 25-100KM across.(never specified)
4. It's twice the mass of the Earth
5. The moon swallows the thing whole.
6. It slightly alters the orbit of the moon. The world's best scientists notice this after a few days.
7. It does not create any molten anything, let alone resurfacing the moon. No light is generated either.
8. The new eliptical orbit brings it closer to the Earth at times, creating electro-magnetic 'gravity storms', which roll over the planet surface, causing things to float. (you know cause the moon is twice as heavy as the Earth now.)
9. In the thirty or so computer simulations shown, the Earth is always stationary with the new heavy moon still orbiting it...and whats this? the moon will fall into the Earths gravity field in 39 days!
10. Super fix-it plan #1(World's Best Scientists Plan)
Detonate 11,000 warheads roughly 100km from the moon, this will 'create an exponential shockwave which will nudge the moon a bit, letting "the sun's gravity grab hold of it" so that it can be put into stable orbit far enough away to avoid the gravity storms'
11. Super fix-it plan #2(Military Brass Plan)
Using top-secret already made space gear they will detonate 87 warheads at the 'magic spot' in the moon's fancy new butthole. This will 'rip the moon in two in such a way that no peices of it crash into the Earth and "mostly disintegrate the brown dwarf peice" ejecting the rest towards the Sun. It will also stablize the orbit of the moon magicly.
12. They actually used plan #2, managed to get this mission to the moon in a few days with all this fancy new top-secret equipment, including a super 87 warhead missle which flies like it has an atmosphere to use.
13. They launch the missle into the crack at the last second before the failsafe point (which is when it is at it's furthest point on it's elipitical orbit, so it has momentum you know) I guess they failed to realize that this is the point where it would have the least momentum.
14. The missle flies seeminly hundreds of KM bobbing and weaving it's way into the crack, yet it is a TOW missile(dragging a cable)
15. The blast cracks the moon in two releasing the POBD. The POBD twice the mass of the Earth, launches like a rocket straight into the Sun. The moon strangly does not rocket in the other direction at a hundred times the speed. Strange how an object twice the mass of the Earth can't destroy the moon but a few well placed warheads do so with spectacular results.
16. The moon's orbit stablizes, the two peices of the moon are apparently not attracted to each other as they move in tandem/unison with no imparted rotation.
17. World peace is acheived. |
| Edited by - BigPapaSmurf on 06/29/2009 06:07:54 |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2009 : 07:28:55 [Permalink]
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| In the universe of the made-for-TV movie Supernova, dropping the POBD into the Sun would have caused the Sun to go all wonky, spewing out mass ejections right at Earth and so causing all sorts of havoc, with the main character (played by Luke Perry) predicting the Sun will go supernova, until the he figures out that he made a simple math mistake in some gravity calculations, miraculously at about the same time that the Sun calms down and worldwide rains come to put out all the fires. Everyone rejoices. How did that become a three-hour movie? Why, they added sinister military types who have built secret safe-havens underground and have lists of names of who will be saved in case of planetary emergency, and so the moralists get to prattle on about "who gets to pick who lives and who dies?!" and run from the bad guys lest they blab the secret. It was awful. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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ABC's "Impact", (Conc.) it gets worse!
