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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
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R.Wreck
SFN Regular
USA
1191 Posts |
 Posted - 07/26/2009 : 11:27:17 [Permalink]
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Gotta love this story
Weakling President Asks Imaginary Man In Sky To Bless Nation
WASHINGTON—In a display of weakness unbecoming a head of state, President Barack Obama concluded remarks to his nation Tuesday by asking a pretend man who lives in the clouds to watch over and guide the United States.
"Thank you, and may God bless America," said the clearly insecure president, who, by seeking the aid of an imaginary being who is neither his ancestor nor someone with whom he shares a tangible harmonious relationship, freely admitted that he has little faith in himself and his inept team of jester advisers.
Even more incomprehensible, sources said, is that hundreds of millions of Americans openly worship the all-knowing invisible man—who apparently observes the world's events from atop his perch in outer space—without fear of mockery, shame, or violent government reprisal.
According to sources, citizens of the U.S. depend on the fanciful grandfather of magic to take care of everything for them, from aiding their tiny overseas army, to curing their illnesses, to helping their sports teams achieve victory, to providing little Jimmy McDonalds with his silly toys.
Mindless spirituality reportedly inhibits progress and remains a bulwark against government rule. |
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The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley
The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2009 : 11:46:43 [Permalink]
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The whole new issue is hilarious, filled with promotion of China, things Chinese, Chinese traditional values, and all the wonderful fish by-products and/or plastics from The Onion's new owner, "Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corp."
Don't miss the new videos and radio spots, complete with shameless promotion of You Wan Mei by The Onion's talking heads. (Quite similar, actually, to one American network's commentators recent on-air whoring to its sponsor, Starbucks.)
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2009 : 15:22:15 [Permalink]
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Oooh! Oooh! Don't miss this link, which was hidden in a faux "error" page that comes up when you click one of the links on The Onion's front page.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Kil
Evil Skeptic
USA
13477 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2009 : 16:55:31 [Permalink]
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| Oh man, that is funny stuff. |
Uncertainty may make you uncomfortable. Certainty makes you ridiculous.
Why not question something for a change?
Genetic Literacy Project |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
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Vigorously protest foreign takeover of The Onion!
