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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 12/27/2009 : 04:43:14
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As skeptics, we know that The Season is all but perpetual. It began with an ancient whimper and will end with a bang of far less stature than the Big One. Between these vague poles, confusion reigns supreme. It warps our perceptions and bends our minds to the point of desiring to go on a throat-slitting rampage with a rusty hacksaw blade and the only thing that stops us is that we loaned the saw out and can't remember to whom.
Consider the amazing codswallop that we are asked, nay, demanded, to swallow whole without even a bottle of ketsup on the table:
They start us off young with tales of a morbidly obese tosspot driving venison across the sky at something like the speed of light, and managing to slide his porky posterior and a bag of swag down and back up every chimney, stove pipe and smoke hole in the lands. All in one night.
From that pathetic beginning, when we start to reason and come to the conclusion that Santa is a load of it, they take us to church. In church, we learn all about a couple neer-do-wells who irritated the Mysterious Mojo sufficiently as to make them homeless and eventually had them and their offspring drowned like an unwanted litter of kittens. It had something to do with the theft of an apple or a pomegranate, or some other fruit that probably would have rotted on the ground anyway.
Once that has sunk in, we get the story of an unfortunate fellow in Jerusalem who got nailed to an early version of a telegraph pole like a common thug, died there, and came back to haunt us forever in the guise of those who actually believe the come-back. This is known as the Easter Miracle and is celebrated, in our younger years, with an egg-laying rabbit that would serve us better in a pot of Brunswick stew. Fortunately, the bunny goes out about the same time as Santa.
Oddly, the church never seems to get around to telling us why we lost our foreskins, nor offer to replace them....
And from there, we go out into the world wherein we discover that we ain't seen nothin' yet!
The above link can explain it further and indeed, was the inspiration for this small rant. Suffice to say, again, that it's always The Season!
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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Edited by - filthy on 12/27/2009 08:07:22
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'Tis The Season!
