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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 03/10/2010 : 14:33:47
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Muammar Gaddafi, since 1969 the de facto autocratic ruler of Libya, today help a press conference in Tripoli to provide updates on the progress of Libya's surprising Jihad against Switzerland.
Gaddafi began with an opening statement
Muammar Gaddafi, Leader and Guide of the Revolution.
Gaddafi: As you and all the world knows, the imperialist, infidel harlot, "Berber"-loving, defiantly neutral Swiss briefly arrested two Libyan citizens in July, 2008 on the piddling excuse that they slapped some of their servants about. As if the sensibilities of misbehaving employees mattered.
Last month in Bengazi, I announced a Jihad against the so-called Swiss Confederation.
It is of no consequence that the two Libyans arrested chanced to be my son, Hannibal, and his wife. Libya a would take equally serious action for the sake of any non-"Berber" (the Berber scum are mythical, anyway) Libyan. My family and I are merely common Libyans like all our countrymen except for the "Berbers."
Libya seeks no territorial gains through our Jihad. Indeed, we only require that Switzerland cease to exist, and be divided between France, Germany, and Italy. As I stated in August of last year, if Libya had nuclear weapons, we would would wipe it off the face of the earth. Sadly, we have no nukes, and must settle for Switzerland's partition instead.
Gaddafi's proposed partition of the Swiss Confederation.
Reporter #1: Colonel Gaddafi, some claim you are a comic-opera madman with delusions of grandeur. What do you have to say to such people?
Gaddafi: I would tell them that such expressions should be carefully recorded for posterity, as they may become their epitaphs.
Reporter # 2: Mr. Gaddafi, you are one of the longest serving world leaders. You are now 67 years old. That uniform you have on now is, well, unique. It's even more snappy than what you wore in 1967 when you seized power in a military coup. The photo pinned to your chest is really special.
Yet after all these years, you seem incapable of growing a proper mustache or beard. The scraggly mess on your face makes you look like a cheap Tijuana gangster. A teen-aged boy would be embarrassed to grow it. When do you plan to shave?
(The press conference was terminated prematurely amid gunfire.)
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 03/10/2010 14:58:31
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Muammar Gaddafi's press conference on Swiss Jihad
