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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 05/06/2010 : 13:36:36
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Today is the National Day of Prayer. Were it not for thr Rude Pundit, I would have missed it and God would not give me a lollipop.
But the hour has not yet gone by. We must all drop to our knees and beseech the Heavenly Figment Father to do all sorts of stuff that is on our wish-lists. Me, I prayed that Obama would get off his sucking up to the religious right; oh, and a lollipop, too. Thus far, I've seen no sign of either, but I'll keep the faith.
5/06/2010
The National Day of Prayer: Do It or Satan Will Eat Your Head:
Okay, this shit just blew the Rude Pundit's mind. According to the website of the National Day of Prayer Task Force (motto: "Pray, motherfuckers"), one part of the answer to the question "Why Pray?" is "Much sin is the result of the sin of prayerlessness. Through lack of prayer, we are weak, others are weaker and Satan gains the advantage in our lives." But, wait, let's see, in tallying up the total number of sins, are you including "prayerlessness"? And who's the "we" and who's the "others"? Mostly, though, why the fuck does the National Day of Prayer need a "task force"? Are there Prayer SEALs ready to do a night landing on your beach of sin?
Then the NDPTF explains that the real reason for prayer is that God is kind of an egotistical douchebag: "We must invite God to work here. If no-one invites God to work here, Satan...will dominate the affairs of men and eventually the judgment of God will come." So let's get this straight: if nobody invites God to the party, he'll get all pissy because Satan crashed it, and then get all smitey on our wicked asses. Time to tell Franklin Graham, "Dude, your God's a dick."
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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Damn, I almost missed it!
