That squishing sound you hear is Marc Stephens being thrown under the bus by the Burzynski Clinic.

But just because they're pushing poor, angry, frothing, rather inarticulate, possibly crazy Marc out on an ice floe, don't think they are backing down. The rest of the press release asserts that bloggers are making false statements about Burzynski's methods. (Protip: if it becomes necessary to issue a press release saying, in effect, "we don't pee on people", something has gone very badly wrong with your public relations strategy.) The press release goes on to single out U.K. bloggers (a tell that the clinic is probably contemplating the loathsome practice of libel tourism) and warns that their attorneys will be in touch. Who will represent them? Well, Rhys Morgan got a hint:

Then, on Wednesday, 23rd September – one day before the new deadline was up – I received an email from a law firm called Dozier Internet Law. They informed me they had been hired by the Burzynski Clinic to "investigate and address the issues regarding [my] blog" and respond to my questions in the email sent directly to the Burzynski Clinic.

Ah, yes. The Dozier Law Group. They are the shrewd practitioners that like to send threatening letters and assert that the letters are copyrighted and that publishing them on the internet will lead to lawsuits, in a comically stupid effort to thwart the Streisand Effect. Those guys. Burzynski Clinic, let me tell you: if your aim is to repair the damage to your reputation caused by Marc Stephens buffoonish threats, then you're heading in the wrong direction. As a public relations move, firing Marc Stephens and hiring the Dozier Law Group is roughly like firing Jeffrey Dahmer as your sous-chef and hiring Hannibal Lecter to take his place. Hannibal is far more polished, but you're not really changing the message — you're still talking about eating people.

Marc, kindly take this post... as a formal, legally binding, 100% certified style invitation to snort my taint.

...Dr. Burzynski's antineoplastons are not "natural, non-toxic compounds that cure cancer." They are drugs, plain and simple. Worse, they are drugs of unknown efficacy. Nor is Dr. Burzynski doing anything unique or in any way superior to what cancer researchers elsewhere do, his claims otherwise notwithstanding. In fact, what Dr. Burzynski does and how he does it are a pale shadow, a parody, of what real cancer research centers do. He does "personalized therapy" so badly that it's a joke, and he uses an orphan drug off-label in combination with other off-label chemotherapy drugs and targeted therapy while selling his combination as some sort of radical breakthrough in cancer therapy. Meanwhile, the alt-med underground promotes Dr. Burzynski as "the man who cures the most intractable cancers" naturally. He's not. He's being represented to desperate patients with incurable cancers as their "last hope," worth any price to reach. After all, what price would you pay for your last chance at survival or that of a loved one? Of your child? To what lengths would you go to get to the man who, you are told, is the only man in the world who can save your life?

On February 15, the TMB issued a proposed decision in which Burzynski would be fined $360,000, required to pay $20,000 restitution to a patient. Unfortunately, although the proposed decision included the revocation of Burzynski’s medical license, the revocation was stayed, with Burzynski to be placed on probation with a public reprimand. In addition to the fine and his probation with reprimand, the TMB would require that Burzynski meet these conditions:

• The billing practices of the Burzynski Clinic must be monitored and patient records reviewed.
  
  
• Burzynski must complete a Physicians Ethics program and undergo continuing education to obtain credits of completion in several topics of medical research. (I laughed at this one. Burzynski knows medical research regulations; it’s how he’s so good at skirting them.)
  
  
• Burzynski must submit his informed consent forms to the Board for review to show that they comply with relevant regulations and laws, and each patient must receive and sign these new forms before treatment.
  
  
• Burzynski must inform his patients that he owns the pharmacy [he] requires them to use. Ownership interest disclosure must be submitted to the Board for review.
  
  
• Burzynski must pass a Medical Jurisprudence Exam.

Overall, this struck me as a fairly substantial penalty, but far less than he deserves. Worse, Burzynski would have the opportunity to submit a counterproposal, and that’s what resulted in the final decision issued on Friday, which is even less severe:

The board’s staff had originally recommended that Burzynski pay a $360,000 fine and $20,000 in restitution to a patient. They also wanted Burzynski put on probation, with the power to automatically revoke his medical license if he violated the terms.

Instead on Friday, the board opted for a lesser penalty that included a five-year probation with more lenient terms, a public reprimand, more training and oversight, along with $60,000 in fines and restitution.

Burzynski’s attorneys called the decision a win.

“It means that he gets to continue medicine. He gets to continue to save lives,” attorney Gregory Myers said.

That $60,000 includes $40,000 in fines and the aforementioned $20,000 in restitution to a patient. If Burzynski’s attorneys consider this decision a “win,” then for patients it is clearly a loss. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find the final final decision yet; so I don’t know exactly how the terms of his probation are more lenient.

Still, even though Burzynski can continue to practice, I have some hope. For one thing, Burzynski is no spring chicken any more. He’s 74, and he had a heart attack a little more than a year ago. The terms of his probation will likely take him through most of the rest of his 70s, and, at his age, can he really stand to practice with even less stringent monitoring? He’s always been stubborn and arrogant, and I can’t picture him tolerating the regular monitoring of his billing practices and patient charts that will occur with much equanimity at all. Will he actually complete courses on Physician Ethics and study for a medical jurisprudence exam”? I’m not sure I can see it happening. Maybe he’ll retire.