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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 04/23/2012 : 23:20:34
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And they say secularists started the Culture War!
I collected these pictures of church signs from all over the Web. It's possible that one or two of the photos are fake, but each appears to be real. A few may be attempts at humor. I myself did not modify the messages. Note that these signs are not only from "fundamentalist" churches, but from many old and established sects as well.
The stupidity, cruelty, sectarianism, political meddling, greed, bigotry, and smug superiority of these churches speaks for itself (though I do add a few words just to make sure the message gets through  ).
Anti-Christian rants often pretty much write themselves.
So here they are:
Those are so last millennium.
Humm. Such simple logic.
(These people actually had skunks dig under the church. I love nature!)
Actual people. Not those spirits or demons you seem to obey.
The baby-killing proposition hasn't been on my ballot yet.
(The one based on God's baby-killing in the Old Testament.)
"Drunks"?!? Now, take that back!
And I vote no religious tax exemption for you.
This means the Catholic Church is going to stop opposing such a "trivial" matter?
Oh, proof! Must be the only church in the world that has proof!
And Rev. Earl Stinson promises to deposit the cash directly in God's off-shore account. Yup.
I am His Majesty's dog at Kew. Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?
Good plan! Reading it might well scare the religion out of you.
Seriously, don't let this Pastor Tim Baumgarten character anywhere near your kids!
On the other hand, Jesus never gave me shit.
A "post hoc ergo propter hoc" logical fallacy.
Unlike at that Satanic Church across the street.
Does Rev. Diane Bennett-Jones know this from personal experience?
But I've had sceont thoughts about his kind of "love."
That's as may be. But WITH Jesus, it seems there's always some pastor to pay.
Pure, blinding hatred, so coherently expressed!
Oh, thanks! Here, use my pistol.
But Jesus will always be there to say, "Gesundheit!"
Not at that church.
And he's got him a shotgun.
No repentance for stealing God's own plant equipment.
Better take a good look around over at Clays
Mill Road Baptist. Hear they been looking for some.
What a country!
But you make it so easy, and fun!
Something every knuckle-walking member of this church
has to be told again and again. Besides, Dad did it, too.
Oh. Kay. I'll just boogie along to the next church, now.
Oops! This one's no improvement. Better keep walking.
Yikes. I'm taking my hoodie off.
Stopit. Stopit. If yer Mamma had took ya to the schoolmarm,
you could fix that grammar and spellin', Waltar.
And faith is just common sense strung up by its ankles and beaten to bloody tatters.
Rev. Blanks can tell you all about Hell. His mentor there was Beelzebub.
Okay, so that was the bad news. And the good news is ... ?
Bigoted religion is sociopathy by choice. Trust reason.
Yeah, you gullible motherfuckers who fill the pews and pay my salary.
Interesting logic. Then if adults grew from babies, why are there still babies?
Wonderful stuff, bacon. Like Off repellent for Jews and Muslims.
Again, with the "post hoc ergo propter hoc logical fallacy?
UPDATE: This sign's message is said to have been the result of unknown vandals.
Nut--Nuts--Nutters.
And this god you mention, Pastor Smith?
Would his name be Huitzilopochtli, by any chance?
Your god has such a nice way of keeping in touch.
Clean-up, aisle two!
Yep, in delusion anything is possible.
Easier yet: Yule.
Uh, sorry. And that wasn't my tongue.
Oh, yeah. Verbally intimidating the weather. That ought to work.
Those hallucinations of yours, for instance.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 04/28/2012 07:48:38
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 02:48:26 [Permalink]
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A few more:
Oh, yes!
Wait! Now we're getting mixed messages.
And he meaner than a junkyard dog.
He's totally down with your gangsta life.
This church did actual double-blind experiments, with controls.
Thanks for the deliverance!
That question's been bugging me.
Because for everything there's the right way, the wrong way, and the Navy way.
I won't touch that thing.
Oh, god.
Wait! Come back here! What? Who?
First, we had to worship that Jew, and now the Italians muscle in?
Sorry Peake, your smug authoritarianism is impossible to digest.
And it's not brain science, either.
That "E" word. It doesn't mean what you think it does.
Your Hindu neighbors must love you folks.
A few years in our church, and you'll be one, too. |
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 04/24/2012 11:30:01 |
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 05:25:48 [Permalink]
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A bit after 2/2/2011, there was a church round these parts that changed their sign to "Whomever prayed for snow, please stop."
A bit of note. I live in the Chicago area. 2/2/2011, 20.5 inches of the evil white crap fell. Nothing moved. |
Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils
Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 06:16:55 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Valiant Dancer
A bit after 2/2/2011, there was a church round these parts that changed their sign to "Whomever prayed for snow, please stop."
A bit of note. I live in the Chicago area. 2/2/2011, 20.5 inches of the evil white crap fell. Nothing moved.
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Cool! I saw some like that while browsing for this stuff. |
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Convinced
Skeptic Friend
USA
384 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 07:07:29 [Permalink]
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| I liked the "We Love Hurting People" sign. It reminds me of a church around where I live called Overcoming Faith Christian Center. I always thought they should reconsider their name. |
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Eph 5:15-17) |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 07:21:47 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by HalfMooner
Interesting logic. Then if adults grew from babies, why are there still babies? |
Actually, it's a common descent question, not merely a descent question. So it's analogous to "if I am descended from my grandparents, how could my cousin have been born?"
See also Claim CC150. Even AiG says not to use that one. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 07:22:02 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Convinced
I liked the "We Love Hurting People" sign. It reminds me of a church around where I live called Overcoming Faith Christian Center. I always thought they should reconsider their name.
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I think "We Love Hurting People" was a well-meant gag that was too clever and backfired. "Overcoming Faith Christian Center" is just boneheaded oxymoronic hilarity, though! Thanks for sharing that. |
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 09:23:18 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Dave W.
Originally posted by HalfMooner
Interesting logic. Then if adults grew from babies, why are there still babies? |
Actually, it's a common descent question, not merely a descent question. So it's analogous to "if I am descended from my grandparents, how could my cousin have been born?"
See also Claim CC150. Even AiG says not to use that one.
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It's so transparently a non sequitur and red herring that I usually just assume the person who uses it doesn't actually believe it for a moment. So I just lazily threw in a random stupid comment, rather than try to make a true analogy to the sign's question.
And you are right, Dave. That family analogy perfectly nails it. But Creos rarely want to go within ten feet of a good analogy, so long as their inane slogans serve them better. They'd rather razzle-dazzle and confuse their ignorant sheep with crocoducks and "scientifically impossible" great apes.
If someone's confused enough, he often turns to anyone who claims to have an clear immutable answer. Which in this case is goddidit, and scientists are just making stuff up because they are satan-serving atheists. |
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Hal
Skeptic Friend
USA
302 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 13:36:21 [Permalink]
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A few of these seem to be products of the Church Sign Generator. Sadly, some of the more offensive ones are likely to be all too real.
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| Edited by - Hal on 04/24/2012 13:45:35 |
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the_ignored
SFN Addict
2562 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 18:53:29 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Dave W.
Originally posted by HalfMooner
Interesting logic. Then if adults grew from babies, why are there still babies? |
Actually, it's a common descent question, not merely a descent question. So it's analogous to "if I am descended from my grandparents, how could my cousin have been born?"
See also Claim CC150. Even AiG says not to use that one.
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Saw that one at a Morinville, Alberta church a few weeks back. |
>From: enuffenuff@fastmail.fm
(excerpt follows):
> I'm looking to teach these two bastards a lesson they'll never forget.
> Personal visit by mates of mine. No violence, just a wee little chat.
>
> **** has also committed more crimes than you can count with his
> incitement of hatred against a religion. That law came in about 2007
> much to ****'s ignorance. That is fact and his writing will become well
> know as well as him becoming a publicly known icon of hatred.
>
> Good luck with that fuckwit. And Reynold, fucking run, and don't stop.
> Disappear would be best as it was you who dared to attack me on my
> illness knowing nothing of the cause. You disgust me and you are top of
> the list boy. Again, no violence. Just regular reminders of who's there
> and visits to see you are behaving. Nothing scary in reality. But I'd
> still disappear if I was you.
What brought that on? this. Original posting here.
Another example of this guy's lunacy here. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 21:23:35 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Hal
A few of these seem to be products of the Church Sign Generator. Sadly, some of the more offensive ones are likely to be all too real.
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Thanks for that, Hal. It's been a long time since I'd visited the Church Sign Generator, and I hadn't know that they'd created several additional background signs.
I'll try to watch for those background signs in the future, but I can't promise to be much better at spotting the fakes. Church sign modification is one of them there Internet Memes, and some people are damned good at committing crimes against Poe's Law. |
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 04/24/2012 21:26:02 |
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podcat
Skeptic Friend
435 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2012 : 19:24:14 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by HalfMooner
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What does that say about Newt Gingrich, with his three separate wives? Or Mitt Romney, whose religion believes in having more than one wife at a time?
No repentance for stealing God's own plant equipment. |
Actually, some people are crazy enough to want to shut down the Earth's AC.
What a country! |
Yes, where else can you be uplifted one day a week and utterly depressed the other six?
Stopit. Stopit. If yer Mamma had took ya to the schoolmarm,
you could fix that grammar and spellin', Waltar. |
Don't you just love it when churches try to be hip?
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“In a modern...society, everybody has the absolute right to believe whatever they damn well please, but they don't have the same right to be taken seriously”.
-Barry Williams, co-founder, Australian Skeptics |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2012 : 19:42:49 [Permalink]
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| I'm laughing my ass off now. That last one, podcat. I'm so un-hip that I didn't even know it was intended to be hip. |
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2012 : 20:01:40 [Permalink]
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I was going to add, "Have a happy day" at the bottom, but ran out of room......
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"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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podcat
Skeptic Friend
435 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2012 : 20:59:09 [Permalink]
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| Not sure that was the goal, but I figured it was trying to bridge a culture gap and not succeeding. "You really don't know what that slang means, do you?" |
“In a modern...society, everybody has the absolute right to believe whatever they damn well please, but they don't have the same right to be taken seriously”.
-Barry Williams, co-founder, Australian Skeptics |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2012 : 21:34:30 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by podcat
Not sure that was the goal, but I figured it was trying to bridge a culture gap and not succeeding. "You really don't know what that slang means, do you?"
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I deeply and personally understand the process of screwing up the hep-hoppity stuff. |
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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50+ Hateful, Stupid, and Ugly Church Signs
