|
HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 01/01/2007 : 00:40:43
|
New manifestation stuns faithful, then blasts, incinerates them
Lourdes, France, January 1, 2007 (RCNS) -- Thousands of Roman Catholic pilgrims at the famous Grotto shrine here were startled today when they saw the statue of the Virgin Mary of Lourdes suddenly explode into roiling dust.
Then the pilgrims groaned with awe when the apparition of a beautiful young woman appeared where the statue had stood. The manifestation wore silken classical robes, and carried a colorful bouquet of spring flowers. She was adorned with a golden tiara, and was dripping with rich jewels. The figure's skin and garments glowed with a brilliance and beauty that was nearly impossible to gaze upon.
She began quietly, but soon grew angry.
Thousands prostrated themselves before the apparition. They prayed, wept, and shouted, "Hail Mary, full of grace!"
But Christian grace was the furthest quality from what actually filled the apparition. The vision began to get really pissed.
In a gloriously beautiful voice that was paradoxically so stentorian that it caused ears to bleed, the apparition spoke.
"'Mary'? Blasphemers! Idolaters of lame, new-come hedge-gods! Do you know me not, you faithless ones? I am Persephone, daughter of loving Demeter and mighty Zeus, wife of dread Hades, he who is Lord of the Underworld! This is I, a goddess of my people the Hellenes, and known as Proserpina, a goddess of the Romans! This was my sacred grotto, my temple, when the glorious Romans ruled here in Lapurda as masters of you weak, barbarian Keltoi scum!"
Persephone paused to look about in growing consternation. "You have dared to defile the very land hereabout by cutting down the holy grove? What is this tawdry water-vending, and sacrilegious selling of cheap souvenir baubles? And the false healing! Monstrous! You dare thus mock me? This. Ends. Now!"
Persephone gracefully turned toward the dark opening at the back of the grotto. "Hades, dear? Could you come up here for a moment, beloved one?"
A basso rumbling and raw sounds of clashing stone came from the grotto. A blast of choking, sulfurous smoke blew out of the grotto, and a deep, red glow was visible from within. The echoic footfalls of an approaching Something that was far more than human could be heard for kilometers. Pilgrims who had gotten to their feet and had been starting to flee were knocked down by the trembling earth.
Then Hades himself appeared beside Persephone. He was a strong, richly dressed figure who appeared much older than Persephone. "Yes, honey? What can I do for you, my precious one?"
"Thank you, dearest. I need you to revive the sacred grove, restore my Lapurda temple, and slaughter these dirty little humans, please."
"No problem." Hades scowled and seemed to measure the labor ahead. "This should be the work of mere minutes."
Blasts of flame, together with fireballs of burning, molten sulfur shot out from Hades' raised hands, knocking down and consuming screaming pilgrims by the thousands. Boulders of lava struck churches, stores, concession stands, and hospitals for several kilometers. Then Hades paused to gesture, and a sacred Olympian grove appeared just where it had stood in Roman times. He gestured again, and a classical temple appeared, surrounding the grotto's entrance.
The beginning of the destruction of Lourdes Basilica.
"Thank you, dear Hades," said Persephone, kissing him.
The latest reports suggest that hundreds of thousands of pagan pilgrims from all over the world are converging on the restored little Roman town of Lapurda, to visit and venerate the living goddess. Through his Papal envoys, Pope Benedict XVI has offered Persephone a position as a Saint in the Roman Catholic faith, but the goddess has politely declined the honor, turning the envoys into pigs.
|
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 04/02/2007 17:38:57
|
|
Thousands see new apparition at Lourdes grotto
