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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 01/03/2007 : 22:02:08
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Televangelist flies to Lapurda to demand goddess Persephone
leave, then goes "wee, wee, wee, wee," all the way home
Lapurda, January 3, 2007 (RCNS) -- The Rev. Pat Robertson yesterday visited the independent Greco-Roman city-state of Lapurda. In modern times, until the first day of this year, Lapurda was known as Lourdes, a town in the Hautes-Pyrénées department of France.
Robertson, himself a Protestant, but accompanied by a group of conservative Catholic Charismatics, presented an ultimatum to the goddess Persephone that she immediately leave the earth's surface, never to return, or face the awesome wrath of the Christian God.
Persephone listened quietly, then turned Robertson and his companions into pigs.
Today, Lapurda's Temple of the Pantheon stands
where Lourdes Basilica was destroyed two days ago.
Persephone recently manifested in the former Catholic shrine. Seeing that her ancient temple and shrine had been replaced by a Marian cult, she asked her husband, Hades, to destroy it and the pilgrims. The Lord of the Underworld slaughtered thousands of Marian worshippers, then transformed the village into a Classical Greco-Roman town. The surviving inhabitants now speak both Greek and Latin.
Pagans from around the world, meantime, have flocked to Lapurda, to worship and study Greco-Roman polytheist religion at the many temples which now stand where churches stood just days ago. Also, scholars and historians, learning that the Library of Lapurda contains the complete and intact long-lost works of ancient authors, have been arriving in droves.
Since the transformation, French gendarmes have been unable to enter the town without losing both their clothing and their weapons.
Police had been magically disarmed and stripped during their first
attempt to retake Lapurda. Here, blessed, and armed with Christian
symbols, they prepare to try again, for the greater Glory of France.
Reverend Robertson was flown back to the US immediately after Persephone's curse was placed upon him. Under the circumstances, it is far from certain that Robertson can retain control of his vast church and television empire.
Robertson, back on his 700 Club show. Not even
his co-hosts seem to take him seriously anymore.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 01/04/2007 15:21:24
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McQ
Skeptic Friend
USA
258 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2007 : 22:10:16 [Permalink]
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| That swine! I knew he would come to no good! |
Elvis didn't do no drugs!
--Penn Gillette |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2007 : 23:31:51 [Permalink]
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Dude called Robertson a pig today in a post, and afterwards I made a connection with Persephone, who had already turned Papal envoys into pigs in my earlier story. (If a mere witch such as Circe could pull off that stunt, certainly a full goddess could.)
Making Robertson a pig via artwork was easy work, as he was already most of the way there. The Pantheon Temple was more trouble to Photoshop in, since I had to put it where the huge Lourdes Basilica actually stands. (BTW, the original of that temple comes from Uppsala, Sweden.) The "gendarmes" pic was just something I found at random, and seemed to fit. It was hilarious as is.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 01/03/2007 23:38:14 |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2007 : 12:33:38 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by HalfMooner
The Pantheon Temple was more trouble to Photoshop in...
I thought it was a little strange that there were people walking under the steps:
And what happened to this poor woman's head?!?
Just joshing, of course. You're doing a much better PhotoShop job than I. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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Neurosis
SFN Regular
USA
675 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2007 : 13:05:10 [Permalink]
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| {Rick Bobby Impression} "Help me Pat Robertson! Use your witchcraft to get the goddess off me!" |
Facts! Pssh, you can prove anything even remotely true with facts.
- Homer Simpson
[God] is an infinite nothing from nowhere with less power over our universe than the secretary of agriculture.
- Prof. Frink
Lisa: Yes, but wouldn't you rather know the truth than to delude yourself for happiness?
Marge: Well... um.... [goes outside to jump on tampoline with Homer.] |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2007 : 14:59:54 [Permalink]
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Dave, you found those problems even after I'd gone back and fixed a number of identical ones. As is often the case, I go back and edit over and over again. As I will now!
Edit: Okay! I put a couple heads back on, and shoveled some dirt under those steps, so people wouldn't wander around under the Temple. The fix will be uploaded soon. Sheesh. People and their damned eyes!
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 01/04/2007 15:17:51 |
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pleco
SFN Addict
USA
2998 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2007 : 15:32:57 [Permalink]
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quote:
People and their damned eyes!
My eyes detached themselves from their sockets and rolled away when they viewed the photo of the hairy man and the phallic symbol around his neck. |
by Filthy
The neo-con methane machine will soon be running at full fart. |
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Dude
SFN Die Hard
USA
6891 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2007 : 16:27:55 [Permalink]
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quote:
Dude called Robertson a pig today in a post
Actually, I called him a pigfucker. Implying that he fornicates with swine.
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Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson
"god :: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument." - G. Carlin
Hope, n.
The handmaiden of desperation; the opiate of despair; the illegible signpost on the road to perdition. ~~ da filth |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2007 : 16:48:08 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dude
quote:
Dude called Robertson a pig today in a post
Actually, I called him a pigfucker. Implying that he fornicates with swine.
Well, that Photoshopping job will have to wait until I have more time.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2007 : 19:23:20 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by pleco
quote:
People and their damned eyes!
My eyes detached themselves from their sockets and rolled away when they viewed the photo of the hairy man and the phallic symbol around his neck.
That was a sight truly not meant to be seen by humanity. I wonder if those guys were planning on going for a swim? Hairy Guy would probably be dragged down headfirst by the weight of that enormous golden crucifix and chain.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2007 : 16:30:17 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dude
quote:
Dude called Robertson a pig today in a post
Actually, I called him a pigfucker. Implying that he fornicates with swine.
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I decided to actually Google "pig fucker," Dude. I found this definition at Devil's Dictionary X:
quote:
pig-fucker
1. a severe exclamation of profanity.
2. an interesting thought.
3. a euphemism of fig plucker.
4. a native of Montana.
compare to monkey-fucker.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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