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R.Wreck
SFN Regular
USA
1191 Posts |
 Posted - 04/03/2007 : 15:00:37
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Seems some folks are upset about a chocolate Jesus
quote:
NEW YORK (AP) — A planned Holy Week exhibition of a nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ was canceled Friday after Cardinal Edward Egan and other outraged Catholics complained.
The "My Sweet Lord" display was shut down by the hotel that houses the Lab Gallery in midtown Manhattan. Roger Smith Hotel president James Knowles cited the public outcry for his decision.
The reaction "is crystal clear and has brought to our attention the unintended reaction of you and other conscientious friends of ours to the exhibition," Knowles wrote in the two-paragraph cancellation notice.
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But word of the confectionery Christ infuriated Catholics, including Egan, who described it as "a sickening display." Bill Donohue, head of the watchdog Catholic League, said it was "one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever."
The hotel and the gallery were overrun Thursday with angry phone calls and e-mails about the exhibit. Semler said the calls included death threats over the work of artist Cosimo Cavallaro, who was described as disappointed by the decision to cancel the display.
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The sculpture was to debut Monday evening, the day after Palm Sunday and just four days before Christians mark the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on Good Friday. The final day of the exhibit was planned for Easter Sunday.
The artwork was created from more than 200 pounds of milk chocolate, and features Christ with his arms outstretched as if on an invisible cross. Unlike the typical religious portrayal of Christ, the Cavallaro creation does not include a loincloth.
It can't be as bad as the usual gory blood-dripping Jeebus usually worshipped by the faithful.
Would you eat a chocolate Jesus? Which part would you start on?
And what is better with chocolate than peanut butter? Especially peanut butter that disproves evolution. WARNING: This video may make brain cells spontaneously implode.
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The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley
The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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pleco
SFN Addict
USA
2998 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2007 : 15:04:36 [Permalink]
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| If Jesus had access to chocolate during the Last Supper, they would have been eating that instead of crackers and grape juice (at least that is what I ate when I was a rolled with the holies because al-ky-hall is bad). |
by Filthy
The neo-con methane machine will soon be running at full fart. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2007 : 16:14:54 [Permalink]
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Plastic Jesus
- Ernie Marrs; Trad and Anon
"Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.
CHORUS
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through my trials and tribulations,
And my travels thru the nations,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.
I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
Take Him with you when you're travelling far
I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
Riding on the dashboard of my car
You can buy a Sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell
I don't care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car
ALT CHORUS
No, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he'll have to go
His magnet ruins my radio
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar
Riding through the thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind
ALT CHORUS
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par
When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who's boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning
ALT CHORUS
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far
When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul
ALT CHORUS
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar
God made Christ a Holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master plan
Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my van
When I'm goin' fornicatin
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
The women know I'm on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Leering from the dashboard of my van
If I weave around at night
And the police think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask
ALT CHORUS
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar
There is nothin that is cuter
than a smilin Jolly Buddha,
Ridin on the dashboard of my car,
I don't have no idol cuter,
comes in plastic, bronze and pewter,
Take him with me when I go afar.
Jolly Buddha, fat and squattin,
on a pad of aspirin cotton,
He's with me wherever I may roam,
When it's late and I start to hurry,
I know he ain't gonna worry,
He looks at me and all he says is, "Oooommmmmmm."
There is nothing that is gaucher
Than eatin food that isn't kosher,
Right in front of my smilin Moses' face,
I'm afraid that he'll awaken
When I'm eatin ham or bacon,
And throw them Ten Commandments in my face.
I don't care if I'm broke or starvin'
As long as I've got a fish named Darwin
Glued to the trunklid of my car
God, I'm feeling so evolved
Drivin' with my problems solved
Proclaiming what I think of what we are
Riding home one foggy night,
With my honey cuddled tight,
I missed a curve and off the road we veered.
My windshield got smashed-up good,
And my darling graced the hood.
Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared.
cho: Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
No longer chides me with His holy grin.
Doctors in the X-ray room
Found Him in my darling's womb.
Someday, He'll be born again!
I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
He's the dude with the rusty nails,
Walks on water, don't need no sails
Riding on the dashboard of me car
I don't care if the night is scary
As long as I got the Virgin Mary
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.
She don't slip and she don't slide
Cuz her butt is magnetized
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.
Now I'm feeling quite contrary,
cos I got the Virgin Mary
Sitting on the dashboard of my car
There's no room for imperfection,
in my Catholic collection
Which sits upon the dashboard of my car
Jesus, Mary and St. Patrick,
now I've got the holy hat-trick
Sitting on the dashboard of my car
One more statue I've got to get
is the plastic Bernadette
Sitting on the dashboard of my car
Plastic Jesus, you've got to go,
your magnet's burst my radio
Sitting on the dashboard of my car
But I, won't lose faith and I won't lose hope
cos, now I've got a pope on a rope
Swinging from the dashboard of my car
Once as I drove to Knock,
at a petrol station I got a shock
at the special offers that they had for me
20 more points and I can barter for a Jesus with stigmata
to sit upon the dashboard of my car"
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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JohnOAS
SFN Regular
Australia
800 Posts |
 Posted - 04/03/2007 : 22:05:59 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by R.Wreck
And what is better with chocolate than peanut butter? Especially peanut butter that disproves evolution. WARNING: This video may make brain cells spontaneously implode.
Damn. I could actually feel myself getting stupider watching that. |
John's just this guy, you know. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2007 : 23:21:48 [Permalink]
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The chocolate Jesus is a win-win phenomenon. The artist got his 15 minutes of fame as he had doubtless planned, the religious zealots got their crisis of the moment. Nice.
The peanut butter disproof of evolution is typical low-budget, lying trickery, playing to and upon the knuckle-dragging demographic base of fundamentalism. Deliberate confusion of evolution and abiogenesis, just for starters.
I suppose evolutionary biologists are supposed to demonstrate spontaneous generation, or shut the Hell up? So, okay, I'll take the challenge: I've thrown some old rags into a corner, and I expect to see them turning into mice any day now.
These fundy scum who made this know they are lying, and that truely makes me hate them and all they represent.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 04/03/2007 23:24:04 |
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Kil
Evil Skeptic
USA
13477 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2007 : 08:10:44 [Permalink]
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Don't the Catholics and other Christian religions eat the body for communion? So, why shouldn't it taste good?
I have the Dead Kennedy's version of “Plastic Jesus”.
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Uncertainty may make you uncomfortable. Certainty makes you ridiculous.
Why not question something for a change?
Genetic Literacy Project |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2007 : 08:19:21 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Kil
Don't the Catholics and other Christian religions eat the body for communion? So, why shouldn't it taste good?
I have the Dead Kennedy's version of “Plastic Jesus”.
I don't know why this thread put that number in my mind, but there was nothing for it but to get rid of it. Hope it's being enjoyed.
Actually, all that little vidio proves is that evolution might stick to the roof of your mouth. Amusing, in a bassackward sort of way.
Edit: Is consuming the body of Christ the same as eating long pig?
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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| Edited by - filthy on 04/04/2007 08:24:11 |
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furshur
SFN Regular
USA
1536 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2007 : 09:26:25 [Permalink]
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I think what really is pissing people off is that you can see his chocolate wennie.
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If I knew then what I know now then I would know more now than I know. |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend
Sweden
9688 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2007 : 13:50:13 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by furshur
I think what really is pissing people off is that you can see his chocolate wennie.
I don't think it is that much the fact that Jesus is nude, but it's their conjured up image of any choccolate lover (regardless of sex) considering giving the statue Fellatio.
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Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3
"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse
Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder. |
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R.Wreck
SFN Regular
USA
1191 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2007 : 14:58:55 [Permalink]
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Thanks for the Plastic Jesus flashback, filthy.
For some reason it reminded me of another song I haven't heard in a while:
quote:
Went down to the snake pit,
to drink a little beer.
Listened to the juke box,
oh, it's comin' in clear.
All of a sudden I wasn't alone
pickin' country music with old Joe Bones.
Duval Street was rockin',
my eyes they started poppin'!
Because there she sat at the corner of the bar,
as I broke another string on my old guitar.
Someone call a cab.
Lady won't you pay my tab?
My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus.
It's that kind of mornin',
really was that kind of night.
Tryin' to tell myself that my
condition is improvin' and if I don't
die by Thursday I'll be roarin' Friday night.
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The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley
The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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| Edited by - R.Wreck on 04/04/2007 14:59:27 |
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2007 : 15:03:46 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by R.Wreck
For some reason it reminded me of another song I haven't heard in a while.
My roommate in college always used that song to wake me after a heavy night of drinking...usually to get up and do more drinking. 
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
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Chocolate...and Peanut Butter
