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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 04/27/2007 : 17:24:07
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Eminent physicist will soon be departed
Oxford, England, April 28, 2007 (UKPA) -- Multibillionaire eBay owner William Hawking and Virgin Galactic mogul Richard Branson today jointly announced the impending end of Professor Hawking's days on this mortal coil.
Dr. Hawking, suited up in astronaut training
Hawking and Branson also announced that Hawking has purchased Virgin Galactic for an undisclosed sum, while keeping Branson and Will Whitehorn on as its leaders.
Hawking, author of A Brief History of Time and many other works, and considered the foremost astrophysicist of our time, will soon be installed in "Terra One," Virgin Galactic's orbiting observatory and battle platform. There he will be free of many of the limits that gravity places upon his ALS-wracked body. Hawking will use a vast array of remote manipulators, or "waldoes," to do astrophysics research and to control earthbound activities. Dr. Hawking's academic duties at Oxford will be carried out by a humanoid robot-like device, providing him an earthly "telepresence."
Hawking remarked through his speech synthesiser, "I will venture into space, but not, as previously announced, as a tourist. I will remain there for the rest of my life, overlooking the earth, and controlling it rationally with my army of waldoes. Where's waldo? The answer will soon be: In your neighborhood, bringing security and enlightenment to your planet."
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 07/14/2007 03:05:24
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Hawks
SFN Regular
Canada
1383 Posts |
Posted - 04/27/2007 : 18:16:00 [Permalink]
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| You had me there for a couple of seconds. |
METHINKS IT IS LIKE A WEASEL
It's a small, off-duty czechoslovakian traffic warden! |
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Dude
SFN Die Hard
USA
6891 Posts |
Posted - 04/27/2007 : 21:22:59 [Permalink]
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quote:
Imminent physicist
He isn't one yet?
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Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson
"god :: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument." - G. Carlin
Hope, n.
The handmaiden of desperation; the opiate of despair; the illegible signpost on the road to perdition. ~~ da filth |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2007 : 02:13:25 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dude
quote:
Imminent physicist
He isn't one yet?
Duh. Fixing that!
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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JohnOAS
SFN Regular
Australia
800 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2007 : 04:39:00 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by HalfMooner
quote:
Originally posted by Dude
quote:
Imminent physicist
He isn't one yet?
Duh. Fixing that!
I kinda liked it the way it was. Good spot, btw Dude.
Even if it's "retro-intentional", Imminent is funnier. |
John's just this guy, you know. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2007 : 04:41:36 [Permalink]
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Yeah, but there's "funny, intentional," and "funny, illiterate."
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 15:43:26 [Permalink]
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A bit of background on this little tale. Nothing original here.
As hopefully some of you had guessed, I was thinking about Hawking's real interest in going into space, and a parallel occured to me between Hawking with his ALS and Waldo Farthingwaite-Jones with his myasthenia gravis, in Robert Heinlein's 1942 novella, "Waldo." Surely, I figure, Hawking has read "Waldo."
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Stephen William Hawking is no more of this world
