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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 11/01/2007 : 19:26:02
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Research group specializes in studying "the Coulter"
Formally, the team of scientists is known as the "Working Group for the Taxonomy and Study of the Coulter Metazoan."
Informally, they call themselves the "Annalyzers."
The team is made up of scientists representing a wide array of fields. "This was seen as necessary from the start," said Dr. Ellen Mellon, the coordinator of the team. "We still have no consensus as to even the approximate taxonomical classification of the what we call 'the Coulter,' the subject of our study. It has aspects that are distinctively reptilian, features that are insect-like, even some vague resemblance to mammals, especially rodents. The most we can say with any confidence is that it's probably not a plant. So we have include in our group herpatologists, entomologists and several other specialists, including molecular phylogeneticists."
One of the latter, molucular phylogeneticist Gordy Shortty, claims his work is the most frustrating. "In order to help determine how the Coulter relates to other forms of life, we tried to get some DNA from our subject. So far we haven't been able to identify any DNA or RNA in the recovered samples. We have found several very complex organic compounds that we are trying to study. These may be analogues for the DNA-RNA type of genetics that we are familiar with, but so far the functions of these compounds are total mysteries to us."
Entomologist Dr. Stella Mella said, "I'm fascinated with the articulation of the forelimbs of the creature, which rather resembles that of the praying mantis. Surely, the Coulter must be a predatory creature of some kind. But the mantis comparison seems to fail, being only superficial. In some ways," Mella continued, "the Coulter's behavior resembles that of certain predatory beetles that steal into beehives to rob colonies. These beetles use false chemical signals to convince the bees that they are bees themselves. The Coulter, likewise, is clearly not human, but seems to thrive amongst us. It may be using some kind of pheromone signal, but if so, we haven't yet identified it. If it weren't for the fact it has communicated it's distaste for humanity and common human values, we might never have suspected the Coulter is not one of us."
The Coulter, with superimposed mantid forelimb.
Dean Simpson, a herpatological psychologist, sees little in common between the Coulter and and the reptiles and amphibians he normally studies. "The most striking difference is that lizards, snakes, and salamanders are warm and fuzzy, lovable creatures, compared to the Coulter."
Dr. Mellon said, "We recently ran some computer simulations that have led us to suspect that the Coulter is at the culminating phase of one of several metamorphic stages. At this time, we have no idea of what it will turn into next. Considering what it is now, we think that's an important question to answer. It's also important that we try to determine the Coulter's origin. We may have here humanity's first contact with an alien, extraterrestrial species."
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 11/01/2007 20:47:39
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2007 : 19:44:05 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Dave W.
Funny stuff.
But you should have 'Shopped in a wristwatch around the mantis limb, too.
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Ah, Jeeze! Some people want it all!
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2007 : 19:55:35 [Permalink]
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Could this be the Coulter's mom and dad?! |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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Coulter's next metamorphosis worries scientists
