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The Rat
SFN Regular
Canada
1370 Posts |
 Posted - 06/14/2001 : 17:08:02
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Hi Folks,
Here's a counterchallenge that I sent to Dr. Doofus last year. All I got back was what appeared to be a form letter. Does he even read his mail? Anyhooo, I thought some of you might find it interesting;
Mr. Hovind,
Regarding your $250,000 offer for proof of evolution; I am willing to do better than that. If you can offer proof of the existence of your god then I will willingly, and immediately upon proof, deliver myself into his judgment. I would be pleased to meet you in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, on a day of your choice. I will have in my possession sufficient means to bring about my swift death, and I assure you that I will pose no risk to yourself or any innocent bystanders.
I will attempt to post this notice on various websites dealing with the creation/evolution controversy, as I am sure that there would be many interested parties on both sides. Once this has been accepted for posting on any website I will inform you of the URL where it may be found. Of course, feel free to post this on your site.
Please contact me at this e-mail address so that we may work out the details. I await your reply.
Sincerely,
David Bailey
His reply;
From: "Kent Hovind" <kent@drdino.com>
Subject: RE: Evolution challenge
Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2000 13:21:10 -0600
Thanks for your e-mail. From your statements it sounds like you need to
watch my entire seminar. It will answer all your questions. We have the
entire seminar on our web site (www.drdino.com) as a virtual slide show.
Your answer also demonstrates that there is no evidence for evolution so why
do we all pay to have it taught? I do read all my e-mail but do to my
hectic travel schedule I cannot always give long or personalized answers to
e-mail questions. I trust you will understand. Feel free to call me at my
office if you would like to talk to me personally. I am normally in from
Wednesday through Friday at 850-479-3466 but some weeks my schedule is
different. It may be that someone on my staff can assist you if I am not
available. God loves you and has a home in Heaven for you if you want it.
Thanks,
Kent Hovind
Well, there you have it, a non-reply. I also sent it to the good dingbats at jesusislord.com a while ago - no reply. And it was probably a little too 'in yer face!' for most skeptic sites. Only one, The Skeptic Tank, put it up.
In case you're wondering what “sufficient means to bring about my swift death” I was referring to, there is Water Hemlock, Cicuta maculata, in the marshes in this area, and the woodlands have the mushroom Amanita virosa. A combination of these would not only be lethal, but would make a 911 call a waste of time.
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Bozola
Skeptic Friend
USA
166 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2001 : 17:50:39 [Permalink]
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Hurray! Ratty's here.
quote:
In case you're wondering what “sufficient means to bring about my swift death” I was referring to, there is Water Hemlock, Cicuta maculata, in the marshes in this area, and the woodlands have the mushroom Amanita virosa. A combination of these would not only be lethal, but would make a 911 call a waste of time.
Why be in such a rush? Amanita muscaria would prolong the trip, and as we all know, getting there is all the fun.
Bozola
- Practicing skeet for the Rapture. |
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rubysue
Skeptic Friend
USA
199 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2001 : 18:34:52 [Permalink]
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Monsieur Rat - Welcome to the "mirror" site for the BABB! Will we see the Admiral next?
[And now, for a little sarcastic flight of fancy, while I fight this nasty cold today]:
What's wrong wid' you?? Dr. Doofus has promised that God will give you a home in heaven! He's ready to take you up on your offer. What a deal! I'd jump on this right now, before the offer of a heavenly home is eternally revoked. You might even get one on a street paved in gold and silver!
Think of the intellectual discussions you can have with your saintly neighbors when you happily stroll through those pearly gates. You can read and discuss Genesis for the first 10,000 years, then jump into Exodus for the next 10,000 years, etc., etc., until you reach the end of Revelation after 680,000 years and then you can start over! Remember, you have eternity to keep doing this, so you will know every blessed word and letter. For some of those slower times (e.g., when reading Hosea or 2nd Timothy), you can probably fill in the gaps with a little Lew Wallace or Hal Lindsay or even the Tim LaHaye/Jerry Jenkins "Left Behind" series. You can peer over the edge of your cloud and watch the Rapture and end times happen real-time! Such excitement, especially at the moment that Jesus roars down on the cloud as the final trumpets sound! No liberal, secular Hollywood special effects unit could do better.
To top off your heavenly experience, Dr. Dino himself will be there after the Rapture to give his patented lectures on our created origins. Now that you know the truth about our special creation, you can shake off the satanic mantle of scientific folly and bask in the glory of your eternal life, free of those pesky questions about the Big Bang and string theory and the accelerating universe and dark matter and punctuated equilibrium.
Finally, you can thrill to your lovely 100-year-long witnessing sessions with Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell and Pat Dobson! You can also cherish their millenia-length sermons as the heavenly choir keeps singing the top ten hymns over and over and over again. Jubilee!
Sounds like hell, doesn't it?
rubysue
If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun.
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Piltdown
Skeptic Friend
USA
312 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2001 : 19:05:36 [Permalink]
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quote:
Regarding your $250,000 offer for proof of evolution; I am willing to do better than that. If you can offer proof of the existence of your god then I will willingly, and immediately upon proof, deliver myself into his judgment. I would be pleased to meet you in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, on a day of your choice. I will have in my possession sufficient means to bring about my swift death, and I assure you that I will pose no risk to yourself or any innocent bystanders.
Hee hee, I think you're headed for a long and productive life, Rat.
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The Rat
SFN Regular
Canada
1370 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2001 : 19:10:01 [Permalink]
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COOL! Um...can I get fries with that?
Now, I've got this little, uh, problem. Irritable bowel syndrome. I spend a lot of time on the can. So tell me, what are the excretoriums like in heaven? Solid gold? Good reading material? The Song of Solomon might be a good choice... no, on second thought, that could lead to unseemly activities like 'self abuse'. (Wouldn't want to be caught 'punishing percy in the palm' in heaven.)
Or do we even need to use a toilet up there? Maybe it just miraculously vanishes from our colon and winds up god-knows-where. And I'm sure he would, being omnipotent and all.
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Zandermann
Skeptic Friend
USA
431 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2001 : 22:39:15 [Permalink]
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welcome aboard, oh rodential one!
it's good to see you here.
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2001 : 23:24:55 [Permalink]
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Welcome Rat...
ROTFLMAO...excremental humor. LOL! Would IT just send everything to Hell?
He's YOUR god, they're YOUR rules, YOU burn in hell! |
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bestonnet_00
Skeptic Friend
Australia
358 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2001 : 03:30:57 [Permalink]
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There are no toilets in heaven because there is no heaven.
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Slater
SFN Regular
USA
1668 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2001 : 11:10:56 [Permalink]
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Did you see that Dr D is now offering cruises? A 10 day and a 7. Imagine after plunking down you hard earned cash so that you and your Sweety can sail to Mexico you find, once you are out to sea, that half the boat is chartered by Creation Science Evangelism Inc.
Talk about your ship of fools.
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The brain that was stolen from my laboratory was a criminal brain. Only evil will come from it. |
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The Rat
SFN Regular
Canada
1370 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2001 : 11:24:39 [Permalink]
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quote:
Did you see that Dr D is now offering cruises? A 10 day and a 7. Imagine after plunking down you hard earned cash so that you and your Sweety can sail to Mexico you find, once you are out to sea, that half the boat is chartered by Creation Science Evangelism Inc.
Talk about your ship of fools.
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The brain that was stolen from my laboratory was a criminal brain. Only evil will come from it.
Lemme guess; the captain's name is Noah, right?
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Bozola
Skeptic Friend
USA
166 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2001 : 11:26:16 [Permalink]
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Noah? Noah Refund?
Bozola
- Practicing skeet for the Rapture. |
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Lisa
SFN Regular
USA
1223 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2001 : 13:59:56 [Permalink]
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quote:
Did you see that Dr D is now offering cruises? A 10 day and a 7. Imagine after plunking down you hard earned cash so that you and your Sweety can sail to Mexico you find, once you are out to sea, that half the boat is chartered by Creation Science Evangelism Inc.
Well, look on the bright side, there probably wouldn't be as much competition around the bar. You'd be able to get a table very easily at the late night disco.
Okay, you'd probably want to demand a refund.
Lisa
Chaos...Confusion...Destruction...My Work Here Is Done |
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Bozola
Skeptic Friend
USA
166 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2001 : 14:24:05 [Permalink]
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Cruise
At least one of them has a "24 Hour Pizza" option.
Bozola
- Practicing skeet for the Rapture. |
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rubysue
Skeptic Friend
USA
199 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2001 : 14:36:42 [Permalink]
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This would certainly be the cruise from hell, wouldn't it? I would be tempted to resort to the most egregious behavior (swearing, excessive drinking, flagrantly reading Dawkins and Gould books on deck or outside the lecture area, etc.), just to drive Dr. Dino's disciples bonkers.
It reminds me of a trip my hubby and I made a few years ago (September of 1997) to Atlanta, following our favorite MLB team on a road trip. We tried to book the team's hotel (Marriott Marquis) but a convention was in town, so we settled on another hotel in the downtown area. We went over to the Marquis the night we got there in anticipation of seeing some of the players in the bar. When we walked into the hotel, we found out that the convention group that had completely booked this large facility was the Christian Coalition!! Can you imagine if we had scored a room in this hotel and then found out that almost everyone else in the place was a member of this lovely organization? Brrrr - that was a close one! (As I recall, this was the CC convention that was addressed by Newt Gingrich, spouting some horrific nonsense about the undermining of our nation's values by the secularists.) I have a really hard time keeping my mouth shut around groups like this (much to my hubby's chagrin) and I would have probably said something in a crowded elevator or in hotel restaurant that would have landed me in jail (especially after having a couple of beverages). And yes, there were plenty of ball players in the sports bar (in fact, they were the only other occupants of the bar other than ourselves that night).
By the way, Monsieur Rat, execretory functions are not allowed in heaven, so you don't have to worry about having a gold-plated toliet. You also won't have to worry about sex, inappropriate humor (other than the kind allowed in Reader's Digest), or alcoholic beverages.
rubysue
If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun.
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sega
Skeptic Friend
USA
73 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2001 : 16:03:27 [Permalink]
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quote:
By the way, Monsieur Rat, execretory functions are not allowed in heaven, so you don't have to worry about having a gold-plated toliet. You also won't have to worry about sex, inappropriate humor (other than the kind allowed in Reader's Digest), or alcoholic beverages.
Thats it!! Straight to hell for me!! Screw this agnostic/ Atheist stuff, Wheres Anton LaVey. I'm joining the church of Satan.
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Bozola
Skeptic Friend
USA
166 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2001 : 17:05:31 [Permalink]
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Ol'Anton got repossessed.
Bozola
- Practicing skeet for the Rapture. |
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