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Terryt88
Skeptic Friend
USA
120 Posts |
 Posted - 12/11/2002 : 22:51:25 [Permalink]
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This is a good one I heard tonight at dinner. (Boron, Lacy's dad told me this one )
So this guy starts getting these splitting headaches all the time. They really start to hurt so one day he breaks down and decides to goto the doctor.
So he gets to the doctor's office and gets checked out. The doctor tells him, "Oh this isn't good, your gonna need a brain transplant."
"A brain transplant!?! What the heck! Thats gonna cost me a fortune!"
The doctor says, "Well, your insurance will cover most of the medical costs, you just have to come up with the money for a new brain."
"A new brain eh (apparently he is Canadian .) How much do they run?"
The doctor replies, "Well the going rate these days is 1000$ for a man's brain, and 200$ for a woman's brain."
"Well gee, whats up with the woman's brain huh? Why is it so much cheaper than the man's??"
"Well," explained the doctor, "you get a discount because they are used."
[rimshot] |
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PhDreamer
SFN Regular
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2002 : 23:25:48 [Permalink]
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It almost pains me to post something so tasteless, but in the interest of, um, fairness, and because it was sent to me by a woman:
A girl comes skipping home from school and shouts, "Mommy, Mommy, today we did counting and all the other kids only got up to 5, but I got up to 10! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.....that's good isn't it, Mommy?"
"Yes dear it is."
"Is that because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes dear it is."
The next day the girl comes skipping home and screams, "Mommy,
Mommy, today we did the alphabet and all the other kids only got to D but I
got up to G! A, B, C, D, E, F, G....that's good isn't it, Mommy?"
"Yes dear it is."
"Is that because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes dear it is."
The following day the girl comes skipping home and says, "Mommy, today we did gym class and all the other girls had flat chests but I have these!"
The girl pulls up her top revealing a pair of amazing 36-C's. "That's good isn't it, Mommy?"
"Yes dear it is," replied a slightly embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"No dear....it's because you're 25!"
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I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery.
-Agent Smith |
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Terryt88
Skeptic Friend
USA
120 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2002 : 22:50:38 [Permalink]
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Ok, so this is getting a little strange...
Everytime I go back in and check on the "Did Jesus Really Exist" thread, I keep hearing the theme song from Rocky in my mind....
Maybe I need help.
I'll just blame it on finals.... |
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Boron10
Religion Moderator
USA
1266 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2002 : 17:19:45 [Permalink]
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quote:
Terryt88: ... I keep hearing the theme song from Rocky in my mind....
I was thinking of Cool Hand Luke, playing "Plastic Jesus" on his guitar, but I think it was the same idea. |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 12/21/2002 : 18:14:42 [Permalink]
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A man approached a very beautiful, heavy-topped woman in the large
supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere." |
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welshdean
Skeptic Friend
United Kingdom
172 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2003 : 16:06:18 [Permalink]
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from: http://www.randi.org/jr/010303.html
From "The Onion" horoscope column...
Virgo: (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Certain shortcomings in your education and upbringing cause you to read meaning into the relationships among various celestial bodies.
i pissed myself laughing at this one. |
"Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life."
"I am America. I am the part you won't recognize, but get used to me. Black, confident, cocky. My name, not yours. My religion, not yours. My goals, my own. Get used to me."
"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth."
---- Muhammad Ali
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2003 : 21:36:15 [Permalink]
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http://www.theonion.com/onion3902/skeptic_pitied.html
The Onion strikes again.
Let's here it for good old Craig. |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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jmcginn
Skeptic Friend
343 Posts |
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Topic Locked
