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Boron10
Religion Moderator
USA
1266 Posts |
 Posted - 07/18/2001 : 03:45:24 [Permalink]
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As soon as I saw that, I ran out and bought one! Now, where can I find a baby...?
Not all change is progress. |
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2001 : 13:12:38 [Permalink]
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quote:
A Jew, a Pole, and an Irishman walk into this bar. Bartenter looks 'em up and down and says, "Whaddis dis? Some kinda joke?"
"Too much doubt is better than too much credulity."
-Robert Green Ingersoll (1833 - 1899)
Three guys walk into a bar. You'd think the third guy would have seen the first two hit.
-- How's my posting? Call 1-800-GET-BENT
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2001 : 18:22:44 [Permalink]
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quote:
quote:
A Jew, a Pole, and an Irishman walk into this bar. Bartenter looks 'em up and down and says, "Whaddis dis? Some kinda joke?"
"Too much doubt is better than too much credulity."
-Robert Green Ingersoll (1833 - 1899)
Three guys walk into a bar. You'd think the third guy would have seen the first two hit.
-- How's my posting? Call 1-800-GET-BENT
ROFLOL
BTW, ....that phone #. It's a fax machine, I couldn't leave a message.
VHEMT |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2001 : 23:49:00 [Permalink]
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Subject: Lawyers and Engineers
Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by
train to a conference. At the station, the three
lawyers each buy tickets, but are amazed to see
that the three engineers only buy a single ticket.
"How are all three of you going to travel on only
one ticket?" asked one of the lawyers.
"Just watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
They all board the train. The lawyers take their
respective seats. All three engineers, however,
cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the
conductor comes around collecting tickets. He
knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm
emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes
it and moves on.
The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a
clever idea: So after the conference, the lawyers
decide to copy the engineers on the return trip.
Hey, if a bunch of engineers can run this scam,
why not some sharp lawyers, they thought?
When the lawyers get to the train station, they
buy a single ticket for their return trip. To
their astonishment, the engineers don't even buy a
ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket,"
asks one perplexed lawyer.
"Just watch and you'll see" says an engineer.
When they board the train the three lawyers
immediately cram into a restroom and the three
engineers cram into another one nearby. The train
departs. As soon as the train is underway and has
cleared the station, one of the engineers leaves
his restroom and walks over to the restroom where
the lawyers are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please." |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2001 : 23:56:44 [Permalink]
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quote:
[img]http://albums.photopoint.com/j/View?u=1573179&a=11957105&p=51811694&Sequence=0&res=high.gif">
Baby Mop!.....New from Ronco, WallyMart or someone.
Reminds me of Woody, our dog who is a Cocker Spaniel, if you know what he looks like then you'll know why I call him the mop, too.
Those people stole my idea.  |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2001 : 00:20:05 [Permalink]
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A POEM
My face in the mirror
Isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty,
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely,
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never
Put my glasses back on.
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Bradley
Skeptic Friend
USA
147 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2001 : 15:19:35 [Permalink]
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An atheist went out in his front porch one day and saw his next door neighbor, who was the starchiest sort of holy roller, sitting out on his own front porch. Just to be friendly, he called over, "Hey, Bob, why don't you come on over and we'll have a game of cards?"
"I don't play cards," the neighbor sniffed.
Nothing daunted, the atheist then asked, "Well, then, what do you say we walk down to the corner pub and have a glass of something?"
"I do not drink, sir," Bob huffed, "Neither do I frequent drinking establishments."
"Well, Bob," said the atheist, "I've got an idea. Let's eat hay."
"I most certainly will not eat hay!" came the reply.
Then the atheist quipped, "Well, you know something, Bob? You're not fit company for man nor beast."
"Too much doubt is better than too much credulity."
-Robert Green Ingersoll (1833 - 1899) |
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
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King X
New Member
3 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2001 : 23:41:30 [Permalink]
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Viagra: "There's gonna be a cum fight!"
[2 cowboys facing each other with their
hard-ons at full mast]
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comradebillyboy
Skeptic Friend
USA
188 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2001 : 19:50:27 [Permalink]
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ok how about a non viagra joke?
a high school science teacher asks his class:
what human organ expand up to ten times its size when stimulated?
teacher: suzie do you know?
suzie: i don't think you should be discussing this sort of thing in class, i'm going to tell.
teacher: does anybody know?
tommy: yes, your eye's pupil.
teacher: true, now three lessons from this:
1. tommy read the assignment
2. suzy has a dirty mind
3. suzy is going to be disappointed.
comrade billyboy |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2001 : 22:45:15 [Permalink]
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quote:
ok how about a non viagra joke?
a high school science teacher asks his class:
what human organ expand up to ten times its size when stimulated?
teacher: suzie do you know?
suzie: i don't think you should be discussing this sort of thing in class, i'm going to tell.
teacher: does anybody know?
tommy: yes, your eye's pupil.
teacher: true, now three lessons from this:
1. tommy read the assignment
2. suzy has a dirty mind
3. suzy is going to be disappointed.
comrade billyboy
LOL Good one, Billy. |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2001 : 23:55:26 [Permalink]
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Reprinted from a newsletter:
WACKY SITE OF THE DAY
Put It In The Road
Have a photo of a mattress laying out in the street and don't know what to do with it? Make it famous by sending it to these guys!
http://www.flowgo.com/page.cfm?lk=2942 |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 08/05/2001 : 02:20:15 [Permalink]
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LOL, this is a good one.
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said
"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving
'hearses' for the last 25 years!!!!!"
Rap Crap is to music what Paint by Numbers is to art. |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 08/12/2001 : 12:44:51 [Permalink]
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A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock-up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their
goodbyes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed.
Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked, "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own funeral," the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist." |
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