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@tomic
Administrator
USA
4607 Posts |
 Posted - 08/16/2002 : 17:22:17
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other
to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised
when the cow drops dead.
ENRON CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with
a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
CaymanIslandcompany secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows
back to your listed company. The annual report says
the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the
United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance
sheet provided with the release. The public buys your
bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them
Worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle
of &nbs! p; vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others
for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,
and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION:
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
 @tomic
Gravity, not just a good idea...it's the law!
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