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Computer Org
Skeptic Friend
392 Posts |
 Posted - 02/26/2003 : 08:11:19
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I have very strong reasons to believe that Jesus is here on Earth right now, observing.
A recent commercial asks "What would Jesus drive?" with the politically correct response being "Not a SUV!"
(By the way, my immediate response to the ad was "Jesus would drive Sandels!!"  )
Without any attempt whatsoever to revive DJRE (Part XXVIII?), I would aske the skeptical readership herein: "What would Jesus drive?"
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(P.S. I don't mean to quibble in any way. I meant "... is here on Earth--physically, embodied--right now, observing our {IMHO: miserable, pitiful, barbarous, odious, disgusting, disgraceful, money-grubbing, war-mongering, near-worthless} behaviour.")
(P.P.S. IIRC, the word gospel translates into the good news. I, personally, also believe that Jesus, having observed us, {particularly those of us who self-style ourselves as "Christians"} would conclude that we have no interest whatsoever in the "good news" which Jesus brought----in the form of the teachings recorded in the gospels.)
(Edited to add two PostScripts.)
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Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life. --Falstaff |
Edited by - Computer Org on 02/26/2003 09:03:42
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TG
Skeptic Friend
USA
121 Posts |
 Posted - 02/26/2003 : 09:36:31 [Permalink]
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I passed Him on the 405 this morning. My "Honk if you're Jesus" license plate frame finally paid off.
He was behind the wheel of a mid-sixties Volvo wagon with a Darwin fish on the trunk. |
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Slater
SFN Regular
USA
1668 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2003 : 10:06:24 [Permalink]
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Firstly the type of book called a Gospel was originally written to proclaim the "good news" of an Emperor becoming a God.
The "good news" of the Xian gospels is that we are saved, the "bad news" of the Xian gospels is that we needed to be saved in the first place. Funny that no one had ever noticed the need to be "saved" before.
Jesus would drive a Batmobile. That's just the kind of imaginary car that an imaginary super hero would tool around in.
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TG
Skeptic Friend
USA
121 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2003 : 10:47:28 [Permalink]
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Not sure about that Slater. I saw the Batmobile at a car show, and now that Jesus has revealed Himself to me by taking the time to honk, He's obviously real as well.
By the way, Jesus, if you're lurking; judging from the amount of smoke your Volvo is generating I'd say you're overdue for a ring job. |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2003 : 12:12:47 [Permalink]
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Um, it says right there in the Bible somewhere that Jesus got his apostles together in an Accord. But God drives American: he drove Adam and Eve from the Garden in his Fury.
(Stolen from a source I can no longer recall.)
Seen recently on the Straight Dope Message Board:quote:
God is my copilot, but we crashed in the Andes and I had to eat Him.
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- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2003 : 17:32:55 [Permalink]
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"Oh, mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord,
He's drivin' down the highway in a black and yellow Ford,
One hand upon the wheel and t'other 'round a can,
Of Papst Blue Ribbon beer.
Glory, glory, and so forth." 
Oldie but goodie!
Finally out of the hospital with a brand new and really aggravating, steel hip -- I am turning into a walking salvage yard. I rattle when I walk. Actually, I was out in five days, but have been held prisoner by my younger daughter and son-in-law for some weeks. Finally escaped yesterday -- please don't rat me out!
Anyhow, good to be back.
f |
"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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Zandermann
Skeptic Friend
USA
431 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2003 : 17:52:44 [Permalink]
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(if I were a younger man, and had a working memory, I could give a proper attribution to this)
What would Jesus drive? He was a *carpenter*...he'd have the biggest honking 4x4 on the market, to haul around all that lumber!
PS: good to see you're back, filthy. Hope the hip is healing nicely! |
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gezzam
SFN Regular
Australia
751 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2003 : 19:54:45 [Permalink]
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As per the Ministry song...
Jesus built my Hot Rod |
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
Al Franken |
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PhDreamer
SFN Regular
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2003 : 20:21:41 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by gezzam
As per the Ministry song...
Jesus built my Hot Rod
Damn Aussie. That was my line.
Jesus built my car
It's a love affair;
Mainly Jesus and my hotrod.
Yeah, fuck it. |
I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery.
-Agent Smith |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2003 : 20:46:33 [Permalink]
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Hmm. What indeed, would The Naz drive?
Let us consider this dispassionatly; he was carpenter, or so it is alledged, but there seems to be a large gap in the official records. What was he doing then? Could it be that he'd apprenticed with one of the era's better confidence grifters and learned the 'trade'?
If so, methinks that he would turn out in a $1,000 suit, spout blather and hustle donations on TV, and tool around in nothing less than a fat Caddy or Linc (can't be a Rolls or nothin' furrin' like that. Gotta buy American).
On the other hand, maybe he was really one of Us, and the Romans, who could be hard on un-Romanlike-hippie-biker-weirdo-freaks, nailed him up for creating a public nuisance. In that case, he'd be riding (after resurection, of course) a chopped Harley, probably a Pan or Shovelhead. Or maybe even a Knuck or big Flatty. A class ride, in any event, yeah buddy! 
Many thanks guys, for all the E-mails. There's no way I can answer them all (I'm on a couple of herpetology forums, among others, and the volume has been a little overwhelming). So I'll express my gratitude here.
f
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Computer Org
Skeptic Friend
392 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2003 : 08:59:57 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Slater
<snip>
The "good news" of the Xian gospels is that we are saved. . . .
<snip>
I have to disagree with you on this one, Slater. You seem to have only read the (4) gospels to find the bad news. There is a lot of good news in the 4 gospels; not the least of which is the extermination of all of the (seemingly interminable) Old-testament laws----to include most-all of the "Ten Commandents".
Remember: The Jews were in slavery under the Egytians. (I admit that there are those who deny the historical existence of "The Jews" and say that there is no evidence whatsoever that there ever was such a People in slavery under the Egyptians. I pretty much disagree with their views and see Exodus as being accurate.  ) When in slavery, you are told every tiny thing that you can do and can't do: worse than in any prison in the U.S.!
Moses dragged the Jews (kicking and screaming: Slavery grows on you!  ) out of slavery and into the desert. They wandered and wandered and wandered. BUT they lost all of the innumerable rules/laws that they had to follow under slavery. In the desert there is only one rule: "Don't get lost from your group." (The Jews, if you recall, were given all they wanted to eat: Manna.)
Then Moses at the end of their journey, when the Jews had forgotten that every tiny aspect of their lives was ordered by the slavers, went to get the "New Rules" for the Jewish society: That which we call the "Ten Commandents".
The Jews, as you might recall, however, FAILED. As a result, they lost the simplicity of the "Ten Commandments" and instead were given a vast body of harsh laws.
The "good news" that Jesus brought was to 'close' the book on the extensive, harsh laws of the Old Testament and replace it all with just two rules. Now that is what qualifies as "good news" to my mind. 
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Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life. --Falstaff |
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Slater
SFN Regular
USA
1668 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2003 : 10:15:58 [Permalink]
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What indeed, would The Naz drive?
Nazcar |
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Slater
SFN Regular
USA
1668 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2003 : 10:27:03 [Permalink]
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There is a lot of good news in the 4 gospels
A "gospel" is a specific genre of book, like science fiction or romance novels and mysteries are genres. A "gospel" specifically made the announcement that a man, usually the Emperor of Rome, had been transformed into a God.
The "good news" that Jesus brought was to 'close' the book on the extensive, harsh laws of the Old Testament and replace it all with just two rules. Now that is what qualifies as "good news" to my mind.
Good news perhaps but not the specific type of good news that the title "gospel" implies.
Their laws may have been harsh, but no Jew was ever damned for all eternity for breaking one (hint: they didn't have an after life)
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Computer Org
Skeptic Friend
392 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2003 : 10:29:33 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Slater
What indeed, would The Naz drive?
Nazcar
Hmmmmm. But earlier you said:quote:
Originally posted by Slater
Jesus would drive a Batmobile.
Ahhhhhh.
And, BTW, is this your reply to my last posting replying to your earlier decidedly perverse view of the "Good News" of the gospels??
Don't the logic-nit-pickers have a word for this type of evasion? 
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Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life. --Falstaff |
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Slater
SFN Regular
USA
1668 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2003 : 10:33:42 [Permalink]
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| Perverse? Why perverse; because it doesn't agree with you? |
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Computer Org
Skeptic Friend
392 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2003 : 10:47:41 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Slater
Perverse? Why perverse; because it doesn't agree with you?
Sorry. Of course in the logical-system of Emperor C. having concocted the gospels to proclaim his "godhood", then they/it would be "Good News" indeed.
I was thinking about the "saviour" part of ur post. I've never found in Jesus's words (--I know u think that those writings are fiction--) that he came to "save" us from our earlier sins. This notion does, however, fit in with a "Power to the Priests" theme----and, of course, the ultimate "Power to the Great Constantine". 
(Sorry I sound a little cynical about the power-grubbing of organized religion: I am. I am not, however, cynical about "spirituality" as a most-excellent philosophical concept.)
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Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life. --Falstaff |
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