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tergiversant
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
 Posted - 08/02/2001 : 12:30:21
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Poll Question:
Suppose that you discovered your significant other was having an affair, which would you find more distressing: (A) the relationship is based primarily upon frequent sexual encounters with shallow emotional involvement or (B) the relationship is based primarily upon deep emotional involvement with infrequent sexual encounters?
Please provide your gender for demographic purposes.
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Poll Status:
Locked »» |
Total Votes: 0 counted »» |
Last Vote:
never |
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tergiversant
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
 Posted - 08/02/2001 : 12:43:25 [Permalink]
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This poll was adapted from one given to peoples of various cultures (United States, the Netherlands, Germany, Japan, Korea, and Zimbabwe) by sociobiologist David Buss.
I've reproduced it here because of the threads on jealousy and human sexuality.
"Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione."
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Kristin
Skeptic Friend
Canada
84 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2001 : 12:57:31 [Permalink]
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Where's the "All" choice?
(Yes, I am extremely insecure.)
Good judgement comes from experience: experience comes from bad judgement.
Edited by - kristin on 08/02/2001 12:57:46 |
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JRB
New Member
USA
37 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2001 : 13:11:21 [Permalink]
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quote:
Where's the "All" choice?
Exactly - I find both scenarios equally distressing.
"Dear God. We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing."
~Bart Simpson saying grace |
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Mespo_man
Skeptic Friend
USA
312 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2001 : 13:50:03 [Permalink]
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I could handle a "roll in the hay" by my spouse with another man much better than a "deep emotional involvment".
A fling may or may not be a result of my inadequacy. But an emotional involvment would definely ring alarm bells about something missing or askew in our relationship. That would lead to depression, anger, guilt or all of the above.
(:raig |
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2001 : 13:57:59 [Permalink]
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In either case, she's outta there. All over but the divorce case. I could handle the second more than the first, she is at least happy then.
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Tokyodreamer
SFN Regular
USA
1447 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2001 : 14:27:14 [Permalink]
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quote:
I could handle the second more than the first, she is at least happy then.
Exactly!
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Ma gavte la nata! |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2001 : 17:00:09 [Permalink]
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quote:
Suppose that you discovered your significant other was having an affair, which would you find more distressing: (A) the relationship is based primarily upon frequent sexual encounters with shallow emotional involvement or (B) the relationship is based primarily upon deep emotional involvement with infrequent sexual encounters?
Please provide your gender for demographic purposes.
I would have voted that I don't care in either case. I've tried for years to get him to see other people but he's such a nurd. Comes stright home except for stopping at the market.
He sees many women pass by where he works. I've made suggestions that he try to pick one up, he refuses. Can you tell me how to get him to interested in someone else?
It's only fair since I've been with others, don't you think?
VHEMT |
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Boron10
Religion Moderator
USA
1266 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2001 : 17:46:16 [Permalink]
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I've got to agree with TokyoDreamer to an extent: If she has found someone more emotionally and intelectually stimulating, It would be easier for me to just leave. If she found someone more sexually stimulating, I would be hurt that she could not try to talk it out with me and fix it, or that she lacked the self control and commitment to actually respect me and not endanger my health by sleeping with another man.
I am afraid I'm not clever enough to come up with a good signature, eh? |
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tergiversant
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2001 : 12:54:07 [Permalink]
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I think the pattern might be somewhat revealing thus far but we need more samples...
"Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione."
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Penyprity
Skeptic Friend
64 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2001 : 20:05:17 [Permalink]
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Well, I cant vote here. I would be gone either way. If it were just sex, I would be upset that he would go elsewhere. If it were an emotional relationship, I would be upset that he did not try to work on our relationship first, or that someone else was filling this special need, better than I. I believe in fidelity. Once a commitment is made that is. If you cannot see yourself with one person, then dont commit. And be honest about it with the person you are seeing, and yourself.
Having said all that...If I found out my husband was cheating (there is a reason they call it cheating) whatever the reason, He would be history. In Sept we will be married 24 years. I felt this way when we first got married, and I feel that way now. I would rather he left first.
Make your vote count. Become a supreme court justice......Peny
Edited by - Penyprity on 08/03/2001 20:12:50 |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 08/04/2001 : 02:15:34 [Permalink]
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quote:
Well, I cant vote here. I would be gone either way. If it were just sex, I would be upset that he would go elsewhere. If it were an emotional relationship, I would be upset that he did not try to work on our relationship first, or that someone else was filling this special need, better than I. I believe in fidelity. Once a commitment is made that is. If you cannot see yourself with one person, then dont commit. And be honest about it with the person you are seeing, and yourself.
Having said all that...If I found out my husband was cheating (there is a reason they call it cheating) whatever the reason, He would be history. In Sept we will be married 24 years. I felt this way when we first got married, and I feel that way now.
Peny
I've been with my 'room mate' longer then that. Don't you feel like it's too long?
Doesn't it get boring with just one partner?
Also, I would think if someone 'loves'(what ever that is) someone, he would want that person to be happy. If that person wants to be with someone else and you 'allow' it, isn't that a sign of true love?
VHEMT |
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tergiversant
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 08/09/2001 : 11:52:00 [Permalink]
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quote:
Well, I cant vote here. I would be gone either way. If it were just sex, I would be upset that he would go elsewhere. If it were an emotional relationship, I would be upset that he did not try to work on our relationship first, or that someone else was filling this special need, better than I. I believe in fidelity. Once a commitment is made that is. If you cannot see yourself with one person, then dont commit. And be honest about it with the person you are seeing, and yourself.
Why can't you vote? Would not one scenario be MORE upsetting?
"Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione."
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tergiversant
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 08/09/2001 : 11:54:59 [Permalink]
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quote:
I did not answer the poll. None of the selections would be possible. Extramarital sex of any kind would have been completely unforgivable and would have ended any kind of meaningful marital relationship
Why can't you vote? Wouldn't one of the two scenario be MORE upsetting to you?
"Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione."
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Penyprity
Skeptic Friend
64 Posts |
Posted - 08/09/2001 : 18:50:13 [Permalink]
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I am not bored yet, Snake. We have discussions about what we like and dont like and we experiment a lot, so if I start to get bored, all I have to do is say so, and with a little Imagination..Im not bored. Maybe true love is about communication. I dont know, but I do know that cheating is not the answer. If he is really unhappy, and we cant fix it..by all means, he should leave. I have always lived with an open door policy. I dont want to be with anyone who does not want to be with me. I will never fight to hold on to someone who has cheated. I will work on our relationship. I think relationships are work to some degree, anyway. But, if he cheats on me, I will never trust him again..and the relationship is over. I can say this...I dont want anyone else, and he has told me the same. So for us...it works.
Make your vote count. Become a supreme court justice......Peny |
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Penyprity
Skeptic Friend
64 Posts |
Posted - 08/09/2001 : 18:55:06 [Permalink]
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quote:
quote:
Well, I cant vote here. I would be gone either way. If it were just sex, I would be upset that he would go elsewhere. If it were an emotional relationship, I would be upset that he did not try to work on our relationship first, or that someone else was filling this special need, better than I. I believe in fidelity. Once a commitment is made that is. If you cannot see yourself with one person, then dont commit. And be honest about it with the person you are seeing, and yourself.
Why can't you vote? Would not one scenario be MORE upsetting?
"Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione."
I thought about it..but no, they are equally upsetting.
Make your vote count. Become a supreme court justice......Peny |
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Topic Locked
