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byhisgrace88
Formerly "creation88"
USA
166 Posts |
 Posted - 11/06/2004 : 17:04:54
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Last night I was at a biblical manhood conference where the speaker was Al Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Seminary. Southern Baptists are the largest denomination in the United States.
But with Dr.Mohler being from down south, the leadership of our church thought it appropriate to give "The Ten Things You Will Never Hear A Southern Man Say". The list was filled with things such as "I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today", and was topped off with "Checkmate". So when Dr.Mohler got up to speak, he gave the following story of a man at his seminary.
A young northern man was having a very hard time with the idea of deductive logic, in which you logic through things step by step. So a southern man who understood it very well decided he was going to take the northern man out for a drive in the country, and try to explain it to him. They drive for a while as the southern man looks for a good example. Finally he comes to a house out in the middle of the country side. He stops, and they walk up and knock on the door. A rough looking man answers, and the southern man asks him if he can ask him a couple of questions to help out his friend. The man agrees, so the southern man begins.
I see that you have a fence. Yes I do said the man. Then I infer from that, that you have a dog. Yes I do said the man. I infer that if you have a dog, then you probably have children. Yes I have children said the man. Then I infer that if you have children, then you also have a wife. Yes I do said the man. And I also infer that if you have a wife, then you are hetrosexual. Yes I am hetrosexual said the man. So the southern man had all he needed. He thanked the man, and they left.
The northern man thought he had figured it out thanks to the southern man's fine example of deductive logic. They drive a while more, and come upon a simaler house. The northern man says; I think I've got it. Let me give this a shot.
So he go's and knocks on the door, and another man answers. The man agrees to answer a couple questions, so the northern man begins.
I see that you have a fence he says. Yes I do said the man. I infer from that, that you have a dog says the northern man. Well, no actually I don't. The southern man replys with a quick; WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THIS HOMOSEXUAL HOUSEHOLD???
I thought this was very funny. Does anyone else have funny stories?
[Moved to the Humor folder - Dave W.]
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Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desire, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.-- C.S. Lewis |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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byhisgrace88
Formerly "creation88"
USA
166 Posts |
 Posted - 11/06/2004 : 18:41:25 [Permalink]
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| O, I didn't realise it was in politics. I don't know how to move it though. |
Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desire, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.-- C.S. Lewis |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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mngamojemo
New Member
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2004 : 02:27:25 [Permalink]
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| This is not the Election Tampering forum! Sorry, everyone. |
Oxygen is for Losers. |
| Edited by - mngamojemo on 11/07/2004 02:41:26 |
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Siberia
SFN Addict
Brazil
2322 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2004 : 07:01:10 [Permalink]
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lmao, I knew that one  so funny. |
"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2004 : 07:07:32 [Permalink]
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Hahahaha! Good one!
Being from the deep south, I find a slightly embarrasing ring of truth to it.....
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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