Donnie B.
Skeptic Friend
417 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2001 : 05:36:31
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Fife: Hah! Look over there! I knew you people would screw up! It's an igloo. What kind of idiot do you take me for? An igloo on the moon? Ridiculous! I'm gonna go over and have a close look.
Randi: Uh, fine... but that feature's about three kilometers away. Let's take the rover.
Fife: Nonsense, it's just over there. Besides, I don't trust that contraption.
Randi: Suit yourself. [She climbs into the rover and peels out in pursuit of the hopping form of Fife, who isn't getting much closer to his igloo. She soon passes him and stops the rover a few dozen meters ahead of him.]
Fife: Aha! I knew it! There's a TV antenna on the igloo! Explain that if you can!
Randi: Huh? I don't... oh, maybe you're looking at the dish on the rover? Here, I'll wiggle it a bit...
Fife: So, you're in communication with the igloo aliens. [Still moving, he trips over a rock and topples over, skittering along the surface for several meters until he comes to rest, face down.]
Randi: Hey, are you okay?
Fife: Sure. [After a brief struggle, he picks himself up and bounces to his feet. The visor of his helmet is now coated with dust, held there by static electricity.] Yes!! I knew it!! Micro-anomalies!
Randi: [getting a bit tired of sighing all the time] Look, we have work to do. Remember, you're supposed to get some rock and soil samples so your pals can run their own tests. Why don't you pick out a few candidates? Take anything you want. Move a rock and take what's underneath. I'll bring the scoops and bags. [Starts unpacking the light but strong equipment from the rover's tool box.]
Fife: Right, as if you'd let me anywhere near anything you hadn't doctored up. You know, I'm sick of this farce. It's time to put an end to the hoax, once and for all. [He fumbles at the neck of his space suit for a few seconds.]
Randi: What the heck are you talking about now?
[There is a series of clicks and sliding sounds, then a loud POP followed by a hiss and a strangled cry, both of which rapidly fade to silence.]
Randi: [Turns to head back toward Fife, carrying a handful of tools.] Hey, Fife, where'd you go? Fife?... Fife? Oh my God! [Pause.] Er, Houston... we have a problem. [Long pause.] Damn, I wonder how far away the helmet landed?
[...and the human genome in infinitesimally improved...]
-- Donnie B.
Brian: "No, no! You have to think for yourselves!" Crowd: "Yes! We have to think for ourselves!"
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