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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 02/07/2005 : 13:47:07
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'Tis a new year and the first of '05's Letters to Landover Baptist are upon us. You'd think that the word would have gotten around, everybody would know about LB by now, but the Clueless continue to sally forth in an endless and bitterly enthusiastic tide. So, with no futher warning ado:
quote:
Come on Pastor Deacon Fred, speak in tongues in 5 days or your money back? Are you some sort of freak? Only those that the Lord speaks through are able to speak in tongues. What exactly are you trying to prove here? I was looking through your December 2004 newsletter and I cannot believe what I am reading here. We will pray for you and your staff...I think you guys over there need it.
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How Dare you call yourself a "Baptist" Church, you people make me so sick, I am a Christian and you people...spreading your sick little world. I grew up southern baptist, how dare you taunt un-saved Christians with gifts of the so called "Devil World" like a cell phone, and a play station that you tell the kids they can kill others for not accepting Jesus. I am going to e-mail my church back home with your link and have my pastor look at it and the way you have "Commercialized" religion. I cant believe you charge money for a sermon and give away "what would Jesus do" thongs, and your rules of fineing people for not going to Church....hummm....hummmm... do you know your history, sounds like a little bit like the Catholics did in the 1600's, If I saw any of you people I would spat on all of you. I will spread the word threw the Christian community about your perverted church of making money, God told me to hate you! shirts and all of that sick mess. You are the reason why the Un-saved do not speak up, telling them to log off and go die quick to burn in hell. Hey (so-called) Pastor you make me ashamed and sick to my stomach. I will make a serious dent in your little perverted church when the rest of the world heres about how sick you are.
PS All of you can eat shit..Period..(I can say this cause I know the lord Jesus as my personal savior...he will forgive me) but I will not forgive you.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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beskeptigal
SFN Die Hard
USA
3834 Posts |
 Posted - 02/07/2005 : 15:11:40 [Permalink]
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Satire is a hard concept for those at whom it is directed. |
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Siberia
SFN Addict
Brazil
2322 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2005 : 16:09:21 [Permalink]
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I especially like the ending:
"PS: you can all eat shit"
That made me laugh so, so much. |
"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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Dude
SFN Die Hard
USA
6891 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2005 : 18:35:54 [Permalink]
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Landover is always great for a laugh.
I like their 60 second sermons....
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/60second/
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Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson
"god :: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument." - G. Carlin
Hope, n.
The handmaiden of desperation; the opiate of despair; the illegible signpost on the road to perdition. ~~ da filth |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2005 : 19:43:45 [Permalink]
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filthy quoted:quote:
...God told me to hate you! shirts...
Damn, I need one of those. Strangely, I couldn't find them in the LB store. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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