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R.Wreck
SFN Regular
USA
1191 Posts |
 Posted - 02/12/2005 : 09:55:12
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Carver the amazing prognosticating wombat correctly predicted the winner of the Super Bowl.
quote:
One cake made by zookeepers had the logo of the Philadelphia Eagles and the other featured the New England Patriots, the two teams playing in Sunday's Super Bowl. The cakes, made with sweet potato, were shaped like helmets and the insignia were carved from watermelon rind.
Through wombat wisdom, his keepers contend, the team whose cake Carver eats first would win the game.
...
He sniffed around and settled on one. And it was official: Wombat picks Patriots.
This wombat must be psychic. Or he is capable of time travel and went to the future and came back with the winner. Or he is in contact with aliens who can time travel. Nothing else could explain this.
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The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley
The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 02/12/2005 : 13:49:44 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by R.Wreck
Carver the amazing prognosticating wombat correctly predicted the winner of the Super Bowl.
quote:
One cake made by zookeepers had the logo of the Philadelphia Eagles and the other featured the New England Patriots, the two teams playing in Sunday's Super Bowl. The cakes, made with sweet potato, were shaped like helmets and the insignia were carved from watermelon rind.
Through wombat wisdom, his keepers contend, the team whose cake Carver eats first would win the game.
...
He sniffed around and settled on one. And it was official: Wombat picks Patriots.
This wombat must be psychic. Or he is capable of time travel and went to the future and came back with the winner. Or he is in contact with aliens who can time travel. Nothing else could explain this.
All very simple. The keeper already knew who the winner would be because the Ozzy Mafia had the fix in, and he had good contacts. Through them, he bet heavy bread on the Pats. The wombat simply got the information through cold reading the keeper; something these animals are very good at. It is not commonly known, but van Praagh and Edward trained with wombats.
You see; there is always a reasonable explanation for these so-called supernatural events.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend
Sweden
9688 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2005 : 15:11:09 [Permalink]
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| Indeed, filthy. Your lcgic is unassailable. |
Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3
"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse
Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder. |
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Siberia
SFN Addict
Brazil
2322 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2005 : 15:32:57 [Permalink]
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You're all wrong.
Wombats are in fact superintelligent creatures from another planet. They, through their unspeakable mystery and wisdom, know all about the affairs of us apes. |
"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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Dude
SFN Die Hard
USA
6891 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2005 : 15:44:09 [Permalink]
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quote:
Wombats are in fact superintelligent creatures from another planet
You're thinking of mice.
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Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson
"god :: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument." - G. Carlin
Hope, n.
The handmaiden of desperation; the opiate of despair; the illegible signpost on the road to perdition. ~~ da filth |
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Siberia
SFN Addict
Brazil
2322 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2005 : 15:46:52 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dude
quote:
Wombats are in fact superintelligent creatures from another planet
You're thinking of mice.
No, no; wombats, too, are alien creatures. They spy and watch us for the mice, hiding in those cute furry bodies. |
"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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R.Wreck
SFN Regular
USA
1191 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2005 : 16:30:06 [Permalink]
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No, wait. It's all clear now. Wombats are evil minions of satan. They plan to get us to worship them using their amazing powers of seering and soothsaying. Then BAM! Next thing we know we're doing the wombat-dance on the banks of the river styx. Sneaky little bastards, they are.
Freemasons (level 17 and up at least) pray to the wombat. |
The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley
The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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tw101356
Skeptic Friend
USA
333 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2005 : 22:26:35 [Permalink]
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Since there are several species of wombat, I expect the Freemasons to split into as many as five sects:
Types of Wombats
Or maybe the wombats are wearing nose-merkins to fool the scientists?
- TW
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- TW
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beskeptigal
SFN Die Hard
USA
3834 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2005 : 13:19:20 [Permalink]
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| I saw a Wombat in the wild in Australia. We scared it and it jumped up and ran off. It was cool. |
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Wendy
SFN Regular
USA
614 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2005 : 13:42:36 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by R.Wreck
No, wait. It's all clear now. Wombats are evil minions of satan.
If this wombat picked the Patriots to win it is most certainly evil!  |
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
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