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 Old-style xian instructions for brides??
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the_ignored
SFN Addict

2562 Posts

Posted - 07/28/2005 :  18:49:37  Show Profile Send the_ignored a Private Message
Maybe this should be in humour, I don't know, all I do know is that modern fundies would likely point to "Song of Solomon" in the bible and say, WTF's up with this guy?

(Song of Solomon is one of the most incomprehensible books in the bible, but if you can decipher it, it supposedly talks about sex)!

quote:

Instruction and advice
for the young bride


On the Conduct and Procedure
Of the Intimate and Personal Relationships
Of the Marriage State
For the Greater Spiritual Sanctity
Of this Blessed Sacrament
And the Glory of God

by Ruth Smythers
Beloved wife of The Reverend L.D. Smythers,
Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist Church
of the Eastern Regional Conference
Published in the year of our Lord 1894
Spiritual Guidance Press, New York City

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth.Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.

Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted.

A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.



EDIT: According to a search done by somebody, not me, that article or the people who "wrote it" may not even exist. But, who cares, it's funny!

I suspect attitudes around then maybe were that bad, who knows?

>From: enuffenuff@fastmail.fm
(excerpt follows):
> I'm looking to teach these two bastards a lesson they'll never forget.
> Personal visit by mates of mine. No violence, just a wee little chat.
>
> **** has also committed more crimes than you can count with his
> incitement of hatred against a religion. That law came in about 2007
> much to ****'s ignorance. That is fact and his writing will become well
> know as well as him becoming a publicly known icon of hatred.
>
> Good luck with that fuckwit. And Reynold, fucking run, and don't stop.
> Disappear would be best as it was you who dared to attack me on my
> illness knowing nothing of the cause. You disgust me and you are top of
> the list boy. Again, no violence. Just regular reminders of who's there
> and visits to see you are behaving. Nothing scary in reality. But I'd
> still disappear if I was you.

What brought that on? this. Original posting here.

Another example of this guy's lunacy here.

Edited by - the_ignored on 07/28/2005 18:56:47

moakley
SFN Regular

USA
1888 Posts

Posted - 07/29/2005 :  04:35:10   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send moakley a Private Message
If this is not a joke, then I'm left with a single question. "Why is sex so repugnant to the overly churched?"

Life is good

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous
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filthy
SFN Die Hard

USA
14408 Posts

Posted - 07/29/2005 :  05:36:01   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send filthy a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by the_ignored

Maybe this should be in humour, I don't know, all I do know is that modern fundies would likely point to "Song of Solomon" in the bible and say, WTF's up with this guy?

(Song of Solomon is one of the most incomprehensible books in the bible, but if you can decipher it, it supposedly talks about sex)!

quote:

Instruction and advice
for the young bride


On the Conduct and Procedure
Of the Intimate and Personal Relationships
Of the Marriage State
For the Greater Spiritual Sanctity
Of this Blessed Sacrament
And the Glory of God

by Ruth Smythers
Beloved wife of The Reverend L.D. Smythers,
Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist Church
of the Eastern Regional Conference
Published in the year of our Lord 1894
Spiritual Guidance Press, New York City

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth.Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.

Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted.

A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.



EDIT: According to a search done by somebody, not me, that article or the people who "wrote it" may not even exist. But, who cares, it's funny!

I suspect attitudes around then maybe were that bad, who knows?

I think it's the real deal. I vaguely recall reading something similiar some years ago -- no reference, sorry.

Christian, indeed religious history is filled with dingbats suffering from sexual hangups and they are not at all rare today, in these enlightened(?) times. Celebate priests and nuns (yeah, right!), and Fred Phelps come to mind.... Also, the Heaven's Gate castrati wannabes, among many others.

It is enough to make one wonder if the spiritual soul does not reside in the groin.


"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres


"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude

Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,

and Crypto-Communist!

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Siberia
SFN Addict

Brazil
2322 Posts

Posted - 07/29/2005 :  06:19:16   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Siberia's Homepage  Send Siberia an AOL message  Send Siberia a Yahoo! Message Send Siberia a Private Message
This looks like a fake, but a quite realistic one. Doesn't really surprise me, though.

"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa

"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard

USA
4907 Posts

Posted - 07/29/2005 :  14:34:01   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Ricky an AOL message Send Ricky a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by moakley

If this is not a joke, then I'm left with a single question. "Why is sex so repugnant to the overly churched?"



Cause we like it, and therefore sex is the devil's way of tempting us. That pretty much goes for anything we like.

Why continue? Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand who hug their superstitions to their breast.
- Isaac Asimov
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