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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 11/16/2006 : 20:34:24
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Seculars burn rubber for no godly reason
Charlotte, NC, November 17, 2006 (RP) -- No longer willing to concede a single "NASCAR Dad" to what they call "the cult of Sectarian Inhumanism," secular humanists have taken to auto racing circuits to promote their beliefs. Afraid to be left behind, other groups are hurriedly fielding racing teams, too.
The American Atheist team's Ford leads, as the Amalgam-
ated Woo-Woo team's driver tries to slip past on the inside,
followed closely by Team Evolve's Ford. On the outside, the
Wicca car is being drafted by the ID Creationism Lite Dodge.
"After the drubbing theocratic forces have taken across the nation in the November 2006 elections, we have an opportunity to press home our advantage," says George Sohnsheim of the Secular Humanist Influence Team. "NASCAR fans are a critical demographic. They're typically male, working class high school graduates from the South and farming states. In the past, we secular humanists have ignored these people."
Selling NASCAR fans short was a huge strategic mistake, said Sohnsheim. "The NeoCons sure as hell didn't ignore them, and they came close to making America a theocracy. We secular humanists have frankly been elitist toward NASCAR fans. But all that's crap's gonna change right now. If we don't get our message to NASCAR fans, the Fundies will, and we'll be up shit creek without a paddle again in 2008."
Sohnsheim gestured to indicate the four secular racing teams his group is promoting. "We've got some of America's best scientists and engineers in our crews. Even some of our mechanics are rocket scientists. So we're taking our message to the common folks in great big letters right across the hoods of our cars. And we're going to kick some ass on the track while doing it!"
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
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pleco
SFN Addict
USA
2998 Posts |
Posted - 11/16/2006 : 21:03:34 [Permalink]
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| LOL! |
by Filthy
The neo-con methane machine will soon be running at full fart. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 11/16/2006 : 21:09:33 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
Did you do the Photoshopping, Half?
Yes, I did. With actual Photoshop, even. Started with a Wiki photo.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 11/16/2006 : 21:17:16 [Permalink]
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Good work, Mooner. The photo came out expecially nice.
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 11/16/2006 : 21:21:09 [Permalink]
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OK, this has gotta be about that mope who doesn't make all the races, Kirk Shelmerdine who drives the "Racin for Jesus" car.
Lessee.
99 - Atheism - Carl Edwards, Rousch Racing
21 - Wicca - Kenny Schrader, Woods Brothers Racing
38 - WooWoo - Gilland, loser rookie, in a car Eliot Sadler got out of for the Evernham #19 Dodge.
40 - Creationism Lite - Casey Mears, he's sometimes the scene of the accident
88 - Evolve - Dale "race the truck" Jarrett
Edwards and Schrader are good drivers. Gilland and Mears suck. Jarrett used to be a good racer, now he's just angry.
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Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils
Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion |
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McQ
Skeptic Friend
USA
258 Posts |
Posted - 11/16/2006 : 21:21:16 [Permalink]
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| Excellent work HalfMooner! I can barely open PhotoShop, let alone use it constructively. I'm impressed. Funny as hell too! |
Elvis didn't do no drugs!
--Penn Gillette |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 11/16/2006 : 21:23:54 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Valiant Dancer
OK, this has gotta be about that mope who doesn't make all the races, Kirk Shelmerdine who drives the "Racin for Jesus" car.
Lessee.
99 - Atheism - Carl Edwards, Rousch Racing
21 - Wicca - Kenny Schrader, Woods Brothers Racing
38 - WooWoo - Gilland, loser rookie, in a car Eliot Sadler got out of for the Evernham #19 Dodge.
40 - Creationism Lite - Casey Mears, he's sometimes the scene of the accident
88 - Evolve - Dale "race the truck" Jarrett
Edwards and Schrader are good drivers. Gilland and Mears suck. Jarrett used to be a good racer, now he's just angry.
Jeeze! Now, too late, I know who I should have consulted!
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 11/16/2006 : 21:25:06 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by McQ
Excellent work HalfMooner! I can barely open PhotoShop, let alone use it constructively. I'm impressed. Funny as hell too!
Thank you!
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 11/16/2006 : 21:39:46 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by HalfMooner
quote:
Originally posted by Valiant Dancer
OK, this has gotta be about that mope who doesn't make all the races, Kirk Shelmerdine who drives the "Racin for Jesus" car.
Lessee.
99 - Atheism - Carl Edwards, Rousch Racing
21 - Wicca - Kenny Schrader, Woods Brothers Racing
38 - WooWoo - Gilland, loser rookie, in a car Eliot Sadler got out of for the Evernham #19 Dodge.
40 - Creationism Lite - Casey Mears, he's sometimes the scene of the accident
88 - Evolve - Dale "race the truck" Jarrett
Edwards and Schrader are good drivers. Gilland and Mears suck. Jarrett used to be a good racer, now he's just angry.
Jeeze! Now, too late, I know who I should have consulted!
One correction to my own post. Morgan Shepard drives the "Racin for Jesus" car.
I am available for consults on race car drivers. Although, don't ask me about fantasy race teams. Mine sucks this year. |
Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils
Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion |
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Ghost_Skeptic
SFN Regular
Canada
510 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2006 : 03:32:06 [Permalink]
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The Woo-Woo Team will be channeling the late Peter Brock
quote:
Brock began to consult health practitioner Eric Dowker. Brock gave up alcohol and cigarettes, and became a vegan[7]. Brock began publicly supporting and, eventually, began to fit to all Holden Dealer Team specials a device called the "Energy Polarizer" containing crystals and magnets that, it was claimed, improved the performance and handling of vehicles through "aligning the molecules
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"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. / You can send a kid to college but you can't make him think." - B.B. King
History is made by stupid people - The Arrogant Worms
"The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism." - William Osler
"Religion is the natural home of the psychopath" - Pat Condell
"The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter" - Thomas Jefferson |
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Chippewa
SFN Regular
USA
1496 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2006 : 11:54:28 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by HalfMooner
quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
Did you do the Photoshopping, Half?
Yes, I did. With actual Photoshop, even. Started with a Wiki photo.
Very nice work! A tip of the hat...er..um...I mean...a tip of the easel to you. You're a master! (I sometimes get paid for the graphic art work I do, and I often struggle with Photoshop's eccentricities.) It's a very clever image! 
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2006 : 12:16:37 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Chippewa
quote:
Originally posted by HalfMooner
quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
Did you do the Photoshopping, Half?
Yes, I did. With actual Photoshop, even. Started with a Wiki photo.
Very nice work! A tip of the hat...er..um...I mean...a tip of the easel to you. You're a master! (I sometimes get paid for the graphic art work I do, and I often struggle with Photoshop's eccentricities.) It's a very clever image!
Thanks much, Chip! I've been playing with paint programs since before there was a PC, using an Atari 800. I don't think I'm especially skilled, and never had formal training. I don't really understand half of Photoshop's tools. I'm especially rusty right now. But I've done this stuff a time or two in the past. Sometimes, brute force employing time, and shameless, repeated use of "undo," can trump a basic lack of skill.
BTW, I'm working on a photo meant to show the SFN car in the pit right now. I'll only post it if it works, though.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 11/18/2006 12:17:42 |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2006 : 15:28:38 [Permalink]
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Okay, fixed the "pit" images. Here's the forum-sized version of the SFN NASCAR pit. (I had to keep it smallish, as it would otherwise mess up the forum's formatting.)
For those of you who might like to see greater detail, try this link for a BIG (1,787 pixels wide) image.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 11/19/2006 01:21:34 |
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Orwellingly Yurz
SFN Regular
USA
529 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2006 : 16:56:41 [Permalink]
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YO, 2-Quarters Moon of Man: I love your pictorial automotivations to counteract the NASCARELIGIOVADERS.
OY!! |
"The modern conservative...is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy. That is the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."
--John Kenneth Galbraith
If dogs run free
Then what must be,
Must be...
And that is all
--Bob Dylan
The neo-cons have gotten welfare for themselves down to a fine art.
--me
"The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights."
--J. Paul Getty
"The great thing about Art isn't what it give us, but what we become through it."
--Oscar Wilde
"We have Art in order not to die of life."
--Albert Camus
"I cling like a miser to the freedom I lose when surrounded by an abundance of things."
--Albert Camus
"Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes."
--Oscar Wilde |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2006 : 17:21:23 [Permalink]
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Thanks, OY!
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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