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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 11/29/2006 : 23:28:31
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Noted prophet tapped to put DI in the profit column
Seattle, Washington, November 29, 2006 (BS) -- Famed psychic Sylvia Browne today took over leadership of the Discovery Institute's Center for Science and Culture. In a hastily-called press conference, Ms. Brown was introduced by the Institute's founder, Bruce Chapman, then spoke.
Sylvia Browne talks with reporters and staff
at the Discovery Institute's Seattle office
"Early this morning, Bruce Chapman showed up at my door, handed me two suitcases full of Howard Ahmanson's greenbacks, and told me about the Discovery Institute's problem. I dropped everything but my drink, and flew back here with him. Sorry, folks, I had no time to waste in getting all gussied up."
Ms. Browne took a quick swallow from her glass. "Bruce tells me that the Discovery Institute's been having big-time money-flow problems with its Center for Science and Culture operation. Millions given to a few pet "scientists," and only the Dover debacle and bupkis else to show for it. So he offered me the position as Director of the CSC, and I've accepted. For years, I've proven I know all about how to take absolutely nothing and make it into a profitable enterprise.
"Here's my advice to DI:
"As I see it, the biggest problem is that you guys wouldn't know show-business shtick if it bit you in the tookis. You need some razzmatazz. Throw in more angels and demons, for starters. Everyone loves them. And forget this science crap -- none of you are any good at it, anyway. Leave science alone, and it'll leave you alone, I always say. Intelligent Design? Forget about it! That shit's out the door as of now.
"Instead of trying to get Creationism into school science programs, try getting it into the school drama programs. Hire some starving playwrights to write a bunch of smarmy Biblical plays, and sell them as being 'historical.'"
"I'm going to turn this operation around, starting today. Before you know it, the money's going to be pouring in from the marks. Mamma's here now to show you what you got to do!"
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 11/30/2006 00:42:09
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 11/30/2006 : 03:01:55 [Permalink]
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Heh, would that it were.... 
And in fact, there's a chord of Truth in there; ID really doesn't have enough Mumbo & Jumbo in spite of being derived entirely from, and entirely of that very same M & J. They really do need an all-powerful Bogyman in the Sky with an entourage of flying Incubi/Succubi and a Kid who is too flipped-out to make it as a carpenter and must take to street-preaching to eat.
Dear Silvie would likely be a valuable asset for them. She could predict the outcomes of all of their courtroom and school board confrontations before they even begin, saving them lots of time, cash, and frustration. Of course, anyone could do the same equally well and for a lot less money, and be just as reliable, but she has the Big Name recognition. In today's slide-show culture, Name is everything and actual Talent merely a dull scene fit only for those who are themselves boring. 
I think I might fire off an E to Dembski making the suggestion. Sylvia could be the Salvation of Intelligent Design.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 11/30/2006 : 03:06:26 [Permalink]
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They got no Barnum, only a whole bunch of second-rate Baileys. Silvie could teach 'em a few things about entertainment, and the bottom line.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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