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Kaneda Kuonji
Skeptic Friend
USA
138 Posts |
 Posted - 02/07/2002 : 06:50:56
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I have for you two, count them, TWO, exciting new products from Dean Inc!
*Gets a bloodhound and a wristwatch*
Now, first, we have these bloodhounds. But, these are no ordinary bloodhounds. These dogs are specially trained in the art of idiot detection. Not sure you can trust that person you're talking to? Just use the idiot-detecting dog, and PRESTO!
When it howls, you know for certain that the person you are talking to is a complete idiot!! Be warned that he'll go off big time in areas like the 700 club and a Kent Hovind debate. How can you train your pet...whatever to detect utter idiots?
Through our exciting new instructional video! "How to Teach Your Pet to Thwart Idiots!" This exciting new video tells you how to teach your pet to detect and chase away absolute morons!!
But wait! What if no pets are allowed? NO PROBLEM! On this wristwatch appears to be a simple compass, but this is also an idiot detector! Great for when you just can't bring pets, this detector can be concealed on a wristwatch. The pointer on this compass points to the person, as it changes color. The darker the red, the bigger an idiot he is. The best part is that it is concealed perfectly on your wrist.
Here's how to order:
Just dial 1-800-IMA-FOOL. That's 1-800-IMA-FOOL! Call now for our free catalog!
Rodney Dean, CI Order of the Knights of Jubal
Ivbalis.org
Edited by - Kaneda Kuonji on 02/07/2002 06:51:59
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James
SFN Regular
USA
754 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2002 : 06:58:53 [Permalink]
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quote:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I have for you two, count them, TWO, exciting new products from Dean Inc!
*Gets a bloodhound and a wristwatch*
Now, first, we have these bloodhounds. But, these are no ordinary bloodhounds. These dogs are specially trained in the art of idiot detection. Not sure you can trust that person you're talking to? Just use the idiot-detecting dog, and PRESTO!
When it howls, you know for certain that the person you are talking to is a complete idiot!! Be warned that he'll go off big time in areas like the 700 club and a Kent Hovind debate. How can you train your pet...whatever to detect utter idiots?
Through our exciting new instructional video! "How to Teach Your Pet to Thwart Idiots!" This exciting new video tells you how to teach your pet to detect and chase away absolute morons!!
But wait! What if no pets are allowed? NO PROBLEM! On this wristwatch appears to be a simple compass, but this is also an idiot detector! Great for when you just can't bring pets, this detector can be concealed on a wristwatch. The pointer on this compass points to the person, as it changes color. The darker the red, the bigger an idiot he is. The best part is that it is concealed perfectly on your wrist.
Here's how to order:
Just dial 1-800-IMA-FOOL. That's 1-800-IMA-FOOL! Call now for our free catalog!
He he! Nice.  
One question though: What if the bloodhound howls at it's owner? And what if the watch points at the wearer?
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your common sense." -Buddha
Edited by - James on 02/07/2002 07:00:15 |
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Kaneda Kuonji
Skeptic Friend
USA
138 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2002 : 07:08:37 [Permalink]
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quote:
quote:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I have for you two, count them, TWO, exciting new products from Dean Inc!
*Gets a bloodhound and a wristwatch*
Now, first, we have these bloodhounds. But, these are no ordinary bloodhounds. These dogs are specially trained in the art of idiot detection. Not sure you can trust that person you're talking to? Just use the idiot-detecting dog, and PRESTO!
When it howls, you know for certain that the person you are talking to is a complete idiot!! Be warned that he'll go off big time in areas like the 700 club and a Kent Hovind debate. How can you train your pet...whatever to detect utter idiots?
Through our exciting new instructional video! "How to Teach Your Pet to Thwart Idiots!" This exciting new video tells you how to teach your pet to detect and chase away absolute morons!!
But wait! What if no pets are allowed? NO PROBLEM! On this wristwatch appears to be a simple compass, but this is also an idiot detector! Great for when you just can't bring pets, this detector can be concealed on a wristwatch. The pointer on this compass points to the person, as it changes color. The darker the red, the bigger an idiot he is. The best part is that it is concealed perfectly on your wrist.
Here's how to order:
Just dial 1-800-IMA-FOOL. That's 1-800-IMA-FOOL! Call now for our free catalog!
He he! Nice.
One question though: What if the bloodhound howls at it's owner? And what if the watch points at the wearer?
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your common sense." -Buddha
Edited by - James on 02/07/2002 07:00:15
In that case, good sir, you are just out of luck. They only point to idiots and I will issue any guarantees if an idiot wears them or owns them.
Rodney Dean, CI Order of the Knights of Jubal
Ivbalis.org
Edited by - Kaneda Kuonji on 02/07/2002 08:01:29 |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2002 : 08:17:45 [Permalink]
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Unfortunatly, my livestock situation is such that, if it eats, it is not wanted here. But, the wrist watch sounds good....
Except that such a highly tuned, electronic device might interfere with the effeciency of my tinfoil hat. Or vice-versa.
Oh dear. What to do? What to do?
F
"They will take away my Darwin Fish only when they pry it from my cold, dead bumper!" |
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Espritch
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2002 : 21:43:03 [Permalink]
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I got me one of them idiot detecting hounds, but he just kept howling and howling and howling and I finally had to take him out back and shoot him.
I think he was defective.
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Topic Locked
