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Subject: the axis pandemic

"In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil" -- N.Y.
Times, 1/30/02


ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA
SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own
Clubs

Beijing (SatireWire.com) - Bitter after being snubbed for membership in
the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had
formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler
than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his
State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as
having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as
Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the
best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi
President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World
War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can
only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."



THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in
what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said
they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with
Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria,
Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As
Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis
of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host
the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About
America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of
Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said
Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he
rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
"Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

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Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About
America

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Only because you let Brittney Spears, Backstreet Boys, n'sync and New Kids on the Block (and all similar types) loose on the world....

"Damn you people. Go back to your shanties." --- Shooter McGavin

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Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About
America

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Only because you let Brittney Spears, Backstreet Boys, n'sync and New Kids on the Block (and all similar types) loose on the world....

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Ahem. Paul Hogan, the manic guy from the 80s/90s Energizer batteries commercials and Fosters Beer. So there.

Laws of Thermodynamics:
1. You cannot win.
2. You cannot break even.
3. You cannot stop playing the game.

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Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About
America

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Only because you let Brittney Spears, Backstreet Boys, n'sync and New Kids on the Block (and all similar types) loose on the world....

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Ahem. Paul Hogan, the manic guy from the 80s/90s Energizer batteries commercials and Fosters Beer. So there.

Laws of Thermodynamics:
1. You cannot win.
2. You cannot break even.
3. You cannot stop playing the game.

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Gotta include Big Country and Men At Work.

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Gotta include Big Country and Men At Work.

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I'm not so much concerned with the one-hit wonders (altho Men at Work at least had three hits I think), especially since the US counters with Vanilla Ice and Devo.


Laws of Thermodynamics:
1. You cannot win.
2. You cannot break even.
3. You cannot stop playing the game.

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And "Friday the 13th" series movies like "Friday the 13th part 27, Jason Stalks and Kills Himself".

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Actualy the next Friday the 13th movie is titled "Jason X". This time it is a hundred or so years latter, and he is stalking teens in a space station.

The kids found a frozen body and brought it up, they didn't know it was a 150 year old undead psycho killer! Also, Jason gets an upgrade.

Jason X

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Only because you let Brittney Spears, Backstreet Boys, n'sync and New Kids on the Block (and all similar types) loose on the world....

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It's all part of our secret plot to destroy the cultures of other nations so we can sell more CocaCola and Miller Beer. Is it working yet?

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It's all part of our secret plot to destroy the cultures of other nations so we can sell more CocaCola and Miller Beer. Is it working yet?

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