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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 07/11/2008 : 03:30:18
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On July Forth, Jessee Helms, retired American politician, Biblical scholar, champion of the rights of white males, and senatorial stumbling block, celebrated Independence Day by performing the remarkable feat of not only stopping his heart, but his brain activity as well (there are those, mostly coloreds, hippies, liberal scum and women, among other inferior types, who claim that this last wasn't all that big of a deal, since there never was much happening in there to start with). North Carolina flew the flag at half-mast and there was open weeping throughout the state as mourners shot off illegal fireworks and drank themselves comatose in determined efforts to emulate this towering, historical figure.
Here then, is his eulogy:
| Friends when it comes to hating all the same folks God does, no one -- outside this room -- came close to the Late, Great Jesse Helms, a fine senator from one of those Carolinas. We are here today to celebrate the life of a real Christian hero. When Jesus takes a servant of His home on the 4th of July, a holiday more important to the Lord than His own birthday, it means that person was very special to Heaven. God is telling us that Senator Helms is His idea of a True American™. |
As far as I know, Jessee's final favor to the world is the only prediction I've gotten correct. It seems unlikely that I'll hit another but that's ok; this one'll do nicely by itself.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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Edited by - filthy on 07/11/2008 03:35:02
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chaloobi
SFN Regular
1620 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2008 : 05:34:11 [Permalink]
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Good riddence.
........................
SciFi Author Thomas M. Disch died on the 4th as well. He committed suicide by self-inflicted gun shot.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Disch
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-Chaloobi
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| Edited by - chaloobi on 07/11/2008 05:34:38 |
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Simon
SFN Regular
USA
1992 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2008 : 07:26:20 [Permalink]
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| Seemed like a (not so) lovely person. The world is just a bit nicer and just a bit shinier without him... |
Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
Carl Sagan - 1996 |
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R.Wreck
SFN Regular
USA
1191 Posts |
 Posted - 07/11/2008 : 21:51:25 [Permalink]
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At least somebody had some sense and decency:
L.F. Eason III gave up the only job he'd ever had rather than lower a flag to honor former U.S. Sen. Jesse Helms.
Eason, a 29-year veteran of the state Department of Agriculture, instructed his staff at a small Raleigh lab not to fly the U.S. or North Carolina flags at half-staff Monday, defying a directive sent to all state agencies by Gov. Mike Easley.
When a superior ordered the lab to follow the directive, Eason decided to retire rather than pay tribute to Helms.
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Way to go Mr. Eason! |
The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley
The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 00:37:36 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by R.Wreck
At least somebody had some sense and decency:
L.F. Eason III gave up the only job he'd ever had rather than lower a flag to honor former U.S. Sen. Jesse Helms.
Eason, a 29-year veteran of the state Department of Agriculture, instructed his staff at a small Raleigh lab not to fly the U.S. or North Carolina flags at half-staff Monday, defying a directive sent to all state agencies by Gov. Mike Easley.
When a superior ordered the lab to follow the directive, Eason decided to retire rather than pay tribute to Helms.
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Way to go Mr. Eason!
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Good riddance for bad rubbish. Helms was the sort of bastard that sometimes makes me ashamed to be a member of the same species.
In WWII, Helms' "battlefield" was a Navy recruiting office. Jesse, son of police chief "Big Jesse" Helms, signed up other people to die in combat that he himself so adroitly avoided. That's a typical "Chickenhawk" conservative for you.
Good for Mr. Eason! I wouldn't have honored Helms, that despicable multi-spectrum bigot, either. The nation and the world would be an incrementally better place if Jesse Helms had died many decades earlier. At least now, Helms is at last doing a modicum of service to humanity and this planet: His rotting carcass is sequestering carbon.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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ktesibios
SFN Regular
USA
505 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 16:29:44 [Permalink]
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umm... what exactly was the prediction, Filthy? When did you make it and can you document its being made before the event?
That Helms was a truly vile hatefreak and scumbag isn't a prediction but an observation. That someone that old would probably die within a fairly short period of time is a prediction, but one so obvious to anyone with rudimentary knowledge of the human lifespan that it doesn't even make it into Jeanne Dixon territory.
Now if you had predicted that Helms would start cooling to room temperature on the 4th of July- far enough in advance that it couldn't have been derived from reports about his immediate health- that would be a prediction worth crowing about.
Don't Bogart the crystal ball, Filthy- clue us in. |
"The Republican agenda is to turn the United States into a third-world shithole." -P.Z.Myers |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 07/12/2008 : 16:57:50 [Permalink]
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It was in the latest prediction thread by, I think, Bigpapasmurf. In my defense, obvious predictions are the only ones that the crystal ballers ever hit anyway, and they blow a lot of those.
There's still a ways to go before it expires (Jan. '09), so I might yet hit another, although my luck with even the obvious is patchy at best.
Edit: There is some discussion, predictably, as to whether he croaked on the forth or was iced down for a few days prior. Me, I think, thus far, that he went on the forth as stated. | Did he plan it? Did he struggle on life support until after the midnight hour, timing his last breath? Or had he been dead for days, his associates keeping the body on ice for the holiday announcement? Jesse Helms, dead on the 4th of July. |
There follows a very good article on what we all wish was the last of the bigots.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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| Edited by - filthy on 07/12/2008 17:08:32 |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2008 : 12:36:48 [Permalink]
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From the Rude Pundit:
"7/12/2008
God's Clearing the Deck:
Man, God must finally be pissed. Jesse Helms and Tony Snow in just over a week? With William F. Buckley bringing up the rear? It's as if God's saying, 'You know what? You fuckin' Democrats will never do it, so I'll just take care of it myself. Fuck elections. It's smiting time. Let's get warmed up with the easy ones.'"
Why not....
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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I finally had a prediction come to pass.
