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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 11/12/2008 : 22:54:36
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Chippewa
SFN Regular
USA
1496 Posts |
Posted - 11/13/2008 : 02:34:12 [Permalink]
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First Amendment - United States Constitution:
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."
Therefore church and state are separate and the government cannot prevent any citizen from being in a religion.
"Practical distinction between Religion and Civil Government is essential to the purity of both, and as guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States." - James Madison
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Diversity, independence, innovation and imagination are progressive concepts ultimately alien to the conservative mind.
"TAX AND SPEND" IS GOOD! (TAX: Wealthy corporations who won't go poor even after taxes. SPEND: On public works programs, education, the environment, improvements.) |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 11/13/2008 : 05:01:05 [Permalink]
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Erm, one minor mistake: the child-beater & general scumbag Dobson is not an ordained minister and therefore does not rate the title of Reverend. | James Dobson, founder and chair of Focus on the Family, is not an ordained minister. He was incorrectly referred to as a reverend in a Jan. 13 review of the documentary For the Bible Tells Me So. The Star regrets the error. |
This is a very common error made by a great many people, probably most of whom should know better. And now they do, a few of them, anyway.
Ken Ham is also composing embarrassing & ill-concieved nonsense without an official, churchy title. It makes one wonder just how many of the loudest holy hollerers have actually bothered with ordination.
I, on the other hand, am an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church, as are several others on these boards. You may be comfortable in refering to me as The Most Reverend Filth. 
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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astropin
SFN Regular
USA
970 Posts |
Posted - 11/13/2008 : 10:08:13 [Permalink]
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| Reverend Filth! I like it. |
I would rather face a cold reality than delude myself with comforting fantasies.
You are free to believe what you want to believe and I am free to ridicule you for it.
Atheism:
The result of an unbiased and rational search for the truth.
Infinitus est numerus stultorum |
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bngbuck
SFN Addict
USA
2437 Posts |
Posted - 11/13/2008 : 14:41:04 [Permalink]
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Reverend Filthy.....
I love your fucking church
It is the best God Damned fucking church I ever heard of, I'm becoming a damn reverend immediately -- I have wanted to be a fucking preacher for all of my life, got the fucking part down perfect but never could achieve the preacher part, now I'm gonna be a god damned fucking preacher instead of a god damned preaching fucker and I'm beginning a ministry immediately.
I have been searching for this business opprtunity all of my adult life! Thank you, and Abbadon bless you, Filthy, for introducing me to this money tree, cash cow, golden fleecing machine that I intend to exploit to the maximum.
There are millions of Republican assholes wandering around out there now, lost, trying to find their way in the new desert! I intend to show them the way to salvation - give whatever money you have left to the Church - my Church! Being a son of a bitch, I know the way to Dog!....and only I can save their sorry asses! But it is going to cost the fuckers!
Filthy, do you want to be associate Pastor in charge of sheep-shearing, also known as tithing? Also set up the sex, drugs, booze, and debauchery study groups? You can collect whatever fees you want, just give me a little vigorish to cover some of the TV expenses.
Dude, I'll be glad to put you in charge of Hell! Set any bribe amount you want and I'll scare the suckers into deep donations else they have to deal with you when you're pissed off! That is, anytime!
Kil might like to be Bishop of Church pornography! That way we won't get in trouble with our more Puritan contributors! Filth, check with Kil before advertising for hookers!
Dave is destined to be our Trinity - Male Dog, Male Offspring Puppy, and Discarnate Dead Dog; and of course receives all of our devotion and reverence (but none of our money!) |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 11/13/2008 : 17:48:08 [Permalink]
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Well, the fact is that I am already a pastor. It's the Church of the Dessicated Cockroach; services held every Saturday night at the pool table in the back of the biker bar. There's no collection plate and the general public is welcome provided they buy a round for the congregation. And, of course, a double Black Jack for Pastor, whose thirst is great when the Spirit of the Roach comes upon him.
We don't subscribe to delusions of Heaven and Hell, but believe that when you die, your soul crawls into the cupboard under the kitchen sink, flips over on it's back, and simply dries out.
Further, unlike most other, less devout sects, we are truly non-profit in that we accept no cash, not even a cut from the bar's till. Thus, we can endorse political candidates and raucously flip off the IRS with impunity at the same time.
All of this is largely because we firmly believe that religion in general relies on scaring the holy water from every bladder it comes in contact with. Throughout history this has been painfully evident. We, however, think that religion should be fun, although some of our congregants might look a little like something out of a low-budget monster movie. Our services reflect our philosophy -- sometimes more vigorously than others.
May the Blessings of the Benevolent Cockroach be upon You & Yours.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Hittman
Skeptic Friend
134 Posts |
Posted - 11/14/2008 : 09:01:47 [Permalink]
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| I, on the other hand, am an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church, as are several others on these boards. |
I signed up for that once, when they first came on line. There were about a dozen of us in a team that included one very preachy fundy. One day most of us signed up (for the free level), printed our certificates and posted them in our cube. Whenever the preacher got on a roll we would gang-bless him. We found this very amusing. He, however, did not.
That was about 12 years ago. These days it would probably result in a lawsuit.
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When a vampire Jehovah's Witness knocks on your door, don't invite him in. Blood Witness: http://bloodwitness.com
Get Smartenized® with the Quick Hitts blog: http://www.davehitt.com/blog2/index.phpBlog |
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Rev. Dobson and his Bill of Goods
