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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 12/14/2008 : 21:26:21
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A few years back, I toured the United States' neighbor to the north, Canada. I figured it was the perfect place for me to travel. Most folks speak American there, sometimes almost like natives. Though Canada is technically a foreign country, the people there think of themselves as almost being Americans, and Americans politely humor them in this. Canada is sort of America's white, furry, winter cap. So I thought I should not experience any cultural shock, right?
Wrong.
Wherever one goes in the United States, here are identical malls, with the same reassuringly identical chain stores. An American is thus always made to feel at home, no matter where he wanders in his great land. As long as he doesn't cross that northern border.
Everything about Canada is just a bit “off.” If the buildings were all yurts, mud huts, or pagodas, maybe Canada wouldn't seem so awful. An American wouldn't expect things to be right. But Canada's twisted mockery of Americanness is the key to what is so disorienting about the place.
The worst of all are the chain stores (which are called “rope stores” in Canada).
Here are some of my photos as examples. You certainly may not hate Canada just yet, based only upon the persuasion of my prose, but these photos ought to help you understand just why Canada is such an evil looking-glass land, which should never be visited by Americans:
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 12/15/2008 10:11:53
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2008 : 22:17:54 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Dave W.
Damn good stuff, Mooner.
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Thank you very, very much!
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2008 : 01:04:29 [Permalink]
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Interprovincial Home of Griddlecakes was damn clever. 
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
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DtheB
New Member
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2008 : 01:24:14 [Permalink]
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| No no no, it can't be real. It can't be that easy to mock Canada. |
The misuse of a tool does not negate its existence. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2008 : 01:30:35 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by DtheB
No no no, it can't be real. It can't be that easy to mock Canada.
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Sure it is, especially when one doesn't have to know anything about Canada to do so.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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perrodetokio
Skeptic Friend
275 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2008 : 04:27:39 [Permalink]
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| Hahhahaaaa!! Excellent! |
"Yes I have a belief in a creator/God but do not know that he exists." Bill Scott
"They are still mosquitoes! They did not turn into whales or lizards or anything else. They are still mosquitoes!..." Bill Scott
"We should have millions of missing links or transition fossils showing a fish turning into a philosopher..." Bill Scott |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 12/15/2008 : 04:39:09 [Permalink]
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It's been a couple of decades and more since I've hung out in Canada (Newfoundland & Nova Scotia), so all of these stores & such are new to me, eh.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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Hawks
SFN Regular
Canada
1383 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2008 : 11:27:14 [Permalink]
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| I'm pretty sure I read in "The Lonely Planet Guide to Canada" that KFC is called PFK (Poulet Frites Kentucky) in the french provinces. Those bastards! |
METHINKS IT IS LIKE A WEASEL
It's a small, off-duty czechoslovakian traffic warden! |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2008 : 11:46:02 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Hawks
I'm pretty sure I read in "The Lonely Planet Guide to Canada" that KFC is called PFK (Poulet Frites Kentucky) in the french provinces. Those bastards!
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They probably have some effete, Frenchified name for Freedom Fries, too.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2008 : 11:49:28 [Permalink]
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Hey, in the third photo, "Tundra Steakhouse," isn't that Kil and his clone, on the right?
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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dglas
Skeptic Friend
Canada
397 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2008 : 12:39:44 [Permalink]
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| I don't get it. |
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- dglas (In the hell of 1000 unresolved subplots...)
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The Presupposition of Intrinsic Evil
+ A Self-Justificatory Framework
= The "Heart of Darkness"
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2008 : 14:02:30 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by dglas
I don't get it.
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Naturally. Everyone see what we're dealing with here?
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Canada: Close, but no cigar
