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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 01/23/2009 : 01:25:31
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When Engineer April Simmons and Brakeman Jules Ford discovered that the chartered passenger train they were operating was filled with 500 Southern Baptist evangelists, they jumped off the engine.
Glory-Bound Train blowing through Glory, Alabama
The leased Northern Pacific train pulling ten passenger coaches was temporarily renamed the "Glory-Bound Rapture Train for Jesus." The train continued on its interstate journey with its dead-man switches disabled, and without a train crew. "Hey," explained Engineer Simmons, "they did pay for a train trip, and we didn't want to strand them in the middle of nowhere."
The two atheist train crew members told reporters that they were "horrified by the starkness of the Hellfire-and-damnation hymns being sung by the Baptists." They asserted that their consciences would not allow them to "aid in the spreading of a dangerous Bronze-Age belief system."
Speaking to reporters, a spokesman for Northern Pacific Railroad emphasized that his company sympathized with the crew's right to their convictions, and would make "every attempt to locate non-religious trains" for them to crew in the future.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 01/23/2009 01:33:19
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2009 : 18:13:45 [Permalink]
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I must say Halfmooner, this one had me chuckling a few times Friday at work.
Good job! You could give The Onion a run for the money. |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2009 : 18:17:38 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Randy
I must say Halfmooner, this one had me chuckling a few times Friday at work.
Good job! You could give The Onion a run for the money.
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Don't I wish! What gets me is the consistency of The Onion's stuff. Me, I'm lucky to stumble onto a good idea now and then. The Onion nails 'em over and over. (Of course, there's that gawd-awful "Onion Movie." What a disappointment!)
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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the_ignored
SFN Addict
2562 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2009 : 18:32:31 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by HalfMooner
Originally posted by Randy
I must say Halfmooner, this one had me chuckling a few times Friday at work.
Good job! You could give The Onion a run for the money.
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Don't I wish! What gets me is the consistency of The Onion's stuff. Me, I'm lucky to stumble onto a good idea now and then. The Onion nails 'em over and over. (Of course, there's that gawd-awful "Onion Movie." What a disappointment!)
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What, did the "Onion Movie" make you cry or something? 
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>From: enuffenuff@fastmail.fm
(excerpt follows):
> I'm looking to teach these two bastards a lesson they'll never forget.
> Personal visit by mates of mine. No violence, just a wee little chat.
>
> **** has also committed more crimes than you can count with his
> incitement of hatred against a religion. That law came in about 2007
> much to ****'s ignorance. That is fact and his writing will become well
> know as well as him becoming a publicly known icon of hatred.
>
> Good luck with that fuckwit. And Reynold, fucking run, and don't stop.
> Disappear would be best as it was you who dared to attack me on my
> illness knowing nothing of the cause. You disgust me and you are top of
> the list boy. Again, no violence. Just regular reminders of who's there
> and visits to see you are behaving. Nothing scary in reality. But I'd
> still disappear if I was you.
What brought that on? this. Original posting here.
Another example of this guy's lunacy here. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2009 : 18:50:29 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by the_ignored
Originally posted by HalfMooner
Originally posted by Randy
I must say Halfmooner, this one had me chuckling a few times Friday at work.
Good job! You could give The Onion a run for the money.
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Don't I wish! What gets me is the consistency of The Onion's stuff. Me, I'm lucky to stumble onto a good idea now and then. The Onion nails 'em over and over. (Of course, there's that gawd-awful "Onion Movie." What a disappointment!)
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What, did the "Onion Movie" make you cry or something?
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Exactly. For an outfit that has put out so many hilarious articles and short videos, I expected better. It feels almost as though they collected videos that they'd rejected for their Web site, and tried to patch them together with a lame plot line. Chopping onions never produced so many tears, but did produce a more tasty result.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Atheist Crew Refuses to Operate Evangelist Train
