|
HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 04/12/2012 : 08:35:28
|
Reclusive Texaco Management Regime Calls Missile an
"Oil Exploration Satellite," Says It's Almost Ready to Launch
Beaumont, Texas, 12 April 2012 (MNN) -- Texaco calls its upcoming launch an attempt to place the first oil exploration satellite into orbit. Its adversaries claim there's no oil in orbit to "explore". They claim Texaco instead is planning to test a missile tipped with an earth-penetrating thermonuclear fracking device.
Exxon and BP say Texaco's real intention is to bomb and shatter all the oil shale deposits of central Saskatchewan in one huge blast, freeing the oil in those deposits to flow down the Canadian province's rivers and to be captured by Texaco's petroleum dams. The companies say they are readying anti-missile defenses in case Texaco's missile violates the airspace over Exxon or BP oilfields.
A BP spokesman said, "Texaco also claimed that two previous launches were for oil exploration, but Exxon-Mobile and BP oil platforms in the Gulf of Mexico and the North Sea disappeared in mysterious fireballs soon after each launch."
 "Our exploratory rocket is being fueled now -- with Techron ®!"
Update, 13 April, 2012: Exxon-Mobil and BP today expressed relief that Texaco's missile launch had failed. "The launch vehicle broke into at least three parts within a minute of launch," said a BP spokesperson. "The rocket thrusters on each stage seem to have ignited simultaneously, sending the stages in different directions. One flew east, one flew west, and one flew over BP's Cuckoo's Nest Platform in the Gulf of Mexico. No significant damage or loss was reported, thankfully, though one large piece of debris fell on the Texas Governor's Mansion, demolishing the residence and killing Governor Rick Perry."
|
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 04/13/2012 01:01:01
|
|
UPDATE: Texaco's Failed Missile Launch
