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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 01/20/2007 : 01:27:17
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Angry solar workers down tools to protest low pay,
as astrophysicists warn of subsurface deterioration
Harvard University, Cambridge, MA, January 20, 2007 (ANS) -- The latest news in from the Sun is not good. According to reports received here at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics (CfA), the ancient iron structure supporting the Sun's photosphere is in severe danger of collapse.
The Sun.
According to Dr. Himnio MacZeal, CfA's Director of Solar Modeling, sinkholes, popularly known as sunspots, have already begun to appear on the solar surface in the last four centuries. The ironwork supporting the photosphere's liquid-like neon plasma is very old, resembling the latticework of early Victorian bridges. And it's been rusting for billions of years.
"This is bad. Very, very bad," said MacZeal. "The liquid-like neon plasma of the photosphere is draining through rusted-out holes in the iron infrastructure. And now the Solar Ironworkers have called a general strike!"
A sinkhole on the Sun.
"Those lazy Ironworkers have barely kept pace with repairs during the last several centuries," says MacZeal. "Now they are putting their greed ahead of their responsibilities as craftsmen. If enough of the photosphere's liquid-like neon plasma drains out," warns MacZeal, "it'll be lights out for Earth! Somebody please think of the photosynthesis!"
But a press release from the Solar Ironworkers tells their side of the story:
"For billions of solar rotations, our wages have not kept pace with inflation. We have been working without a contract for half a billion rotations. If anyone thinks we are striking out of greed, they should ask themselves: How are we supposed to feed, house, and clothe our families with just the liquid-like neon plasma that we swim in?
"We demand more hydrogen, health care benefits, and more magnetohydrodynamic energy, or we will never work again! Let the stingy granulation-counters and the corporate bosses down in the Core swim in the liquid-like neon plasma themselves for a change. If they don't like the leaks pouring down on 'em, they can either pay us a living wage, or come up here and try to fix the infrastructure themselves. Not that we'd expect them to know the first thing about iron-working."
Factoids: Five things you should know about the Sun
1. It's very hot. Handle only with barbeque tongs and oven mitts.
2. Don't stare at it! It's easy offended.
3. Though it looks the same size as the Moon (about one half of a degree, or the width of your thumb at arm's length), the Sun is actually quite tiny in comparison. It makes up for this by being very close to earth. In fact, it's close enough to burn that extended thumb, so be careful!
4. The Sun is almost never visible at night, because of the glare of the Moon. Only when the Moon passes behind it, can the Sun be seen at night. Those occasions are known as "Blue Suns."
The Sun begins to transit the Moon.
During a Blue Sun, the Moon's relative
greater distance is more apparent.
5. There is a common popular myth that certain kinds of insanity are more common when a full Sun is in the sky. These myths are true.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 01/20/2007 07:23:25
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2007 : 02:16:14 [Permalink]
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Funnily enough, the upcoming movie Sunshine is about our sun beginning to lie down on the job. 
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2007 : 02:40:12 [Permalink]
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Nice, but who'd believe a story like that?
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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