|
|
|
BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard
3192 Posts |
 Posted - 05/19/2008 : 05:24:44
|
Question: You've just been appointed Secretary of State in the U.S., You have 60 days to find a way to stop the Fertile Crescent insanity. How do you do it?
A slightly harder question today.
|
|
|
filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2008 : 06:21:53 [Permalink]
|
No one in their right mind would appoint me Secretary of State!
I don't think that it can be done; the various segments of the insanity go back too far and run too deep.
Today, the key to the Mid-East is Israel. Get the others to reach some sort of accommodation with them, & vice-versa, and all will work itself out.
The Fertile Crescent itself is all but gone.
|
"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
|
| Edited by - filthy on 05/20/2008 10:11:58 |
 |
|
|
Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
|
|
Kil
Evil Skeptic
USA
13477 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2008 : 07:26:46 [Permalink]
|
| Ignore it. Pretend it isn't there. Every time it comes up, I would put my fingers in my ears and say "La la la, can't hear you, la la la...." Eventually, probably within sixty days, that area of the world will not come up and would therefore cease being a problem. |
Uncertainty may make you uncomfortable. Certainty makes you ridiculous.
Why not question something for a change?
Genetic Literacy Project |
|
|
|
Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2008 : 07:43:59 [Permalink]
|
| Drop millions of copies of Playboy and Hustler over the whole area. That'll take their minds off the fact that the Fertile Crescent isn't. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
|
|
|
pleco
SFN Addict
USA
2998 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2008 : 08:24:38 [Permalink]
|
As Secretary, I would re-write the map so that is is no longer called the Fertile Crescent. It should quite obviously be called the Red Toupee as shown in this map:
 |
by Filthy
The neo-con methane machine will soon be running at full fart. |
|
|
|
|
bngbuck
SFN Addict
USA
2437 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2008 : 08:37:46 [Permalink]
|
BPS.....
| You've just been appointed Secretary of State in the U.S., You have 60 days to find a way to stop the Fertile Crescent insanity. How do you do it? |
To "stop" the insanity in 60 days, there is only one way! The Secretary of State cannot do it, only Co- Presidents George W. Bush and Dick Cheney can, as they have successfully arrogated imperial powers to their dual Presidency!
1. Provide Israel with a dozen ICBMs armed with 20 megaton warheads
2. Direct Israel to launch six missles simultaneously to a target in an uninhabited part of the Arabian Desert, as close to Riyadh as possible; and another six to a target in the Dasht-e Kavir desert in Iran; again to an uninhabited area. To hell with the fall-out, we have serious problems to solve here, it's only collateral damage!!
3. Immediately following the demonstration explosions, Israel informs both the Saudi government and the Iranian government that they are to immediately stop all funding and support of terrorism immediately, and within 30 days all terrorism must stop, or they will suffer nuclear attacks on all their major cities.
4. The United States announces full support of the Israeli policy, and immediately goes on DEFCON 1
5. Any attack on Israel or the US is met with overwhelming conventional force, unless it is nuclear; in which case nuclear retaliation is employed.
This strategy will probably stop terrorism temporarily, until Russia aligns with the entire middle east (probably within days) and threatens both Israel and the US with mass destruction unless both immediately relent!
Within a week, we should either be in WWIII, or furiously backpedaling to try and get out of the enormous holes we have dug both in Saudi Arabia and Iran.
Within two weeks, the neocons will come up with a new war plan along the lines of - Bomb the Entire World, issue protective masks and gear to all Republicans, and Bring 'em On!!
|
|
|
|
moakley
SFN Regular
USA
1888 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 04:50:50 [Permalink]
|
| Without the powers of a god I have no idea how to begin solving the problems of the angry self deluded tribes of the middle east. But with the power of a god, as an act of mercy, I would scrape the land clear of humans. Pay closer attention as new tribes replace the old and remove those claiming sacred/holy lands. Or otherwise making shit up about me. I would have to. Humans have always made shit up about gods. It's got them in trouble. Trouble that spreads like a cancer, destroying minds, leaving its victims hapless and ignorant. Time for a hands on god. If I had the power. |
Life is good
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous |
|
|
|
bngbuck
SFN Addict
USA
2437 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 09:29:08 [Permalink]
|
Moakley.....
Congratulations on staying around this demented domain long enough to achieve 1001 posts. You deserve a tin Thomas, or whatever doubters get for durability. I'm catching up on you, though!
As to your scraping solution, I was heading there with my concept of vaporization of the entire middle east. I was thinking of a higher power than God to wipe out the raghead scourge - namely Our Dear Leaders, D&G, who have already clearly demonstrated their efficiency at torture, dismemberment, and mass murder of our American mercenaries as well as Islamic idiots.
If we could just keep these latter-day barbarians in power for a few more years, they would probably manage to decimate most of the entire world into a radioactive wasteland! Well, there is a slight chance that the knuckleheaded body politic (or Supreme Court) will install McShame as our next Glorious Leader, and he has enough venom in his soul to get the job done! Even though Obama is looking more inevitable every day, don't give up hope! |
|
|
|
Chippewa
SFN Regular
USA
1496 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 10:24:12 [Permalink]
|
Robots
Yep, I'd solve the Middle East turmoil with a fleet of advanced Robots.
They would arrive in ships and would have absolute power over all sides including us, in any conflict. They would be allied to no one. At the first sign of aggression, they would act automatically to eliminate the source of conflict and restore the peace.
In return, all sides could pursue more profitable enterprises.
|
Diversity, independence, innovation and imagination are progressive concepts ultimately alien to the conservative mind.
"TAX AND SPEND" IS GOOD! (TAX: Wealthy corporations who won't go poor even after taxes. SPEND: On public works programs, education, the environment, improvements.) |
|
|
|
bngbuck
SFN Addict
USA
2437 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 11:27:52 [Permalink]
|
Chippewa.....
Ah yes, "Klaatu barada nikto" and many, many problems could be solved! Klaatu could suspend the total operations of the Internet while an army of Gorts systematically laser-zapped Osama Bin Laden, The Saudi princes, all the corporate officers of Chevron, Exxon Mobil, Royal Dutch Shell and BP; and Bush, Cheney, and the entire neocon mob!
What a brave new world we would have!
Remember, however, that Klaatu was killed by the military, temporarily ressurected, and then faded away and has not been heard from since! Wonder where Harry Bates got that story line?
|
|
|
|
moakley
SFN Regular
USA
1888 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 18:50:27 [Permalink]
|
Originally posted by bngbuck
Moakley.....
Congratulations on staying around this demented domain long enough to achieve 1001 posts. You deserve a tin Thomas, or whatever doubters get for durability. I'm catching up on you, though!
|
And it only took 6 years. Getting cramps in my fingers. Must slow down. |
Life is good
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous |
|
|
|
BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard
3192 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2008 : 05:56:04 [Permalink]
|
WRONG!
The only soultion besides genocide is a total dictatorship combined with systematic brainwashing. The SoS has the critical duty of appeasing both sides until the robotic Taskmaster9000 is ready for the operation.
"When the smoke clears the battle for the Holy Crater begins" -Stolen from somebody on SFN I think. |
|
|
|
Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2008 : 07:12:06 [Permalink]
|
Originally posted by BigPapaSmurf
"When the smoke clears the battle for the Holy Crater begins" -Stolen from somebody on SFN I think. |
Google offers this post as the only match for the last six words on the whole of the Intertubes. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
|
|
|
chaloobi
SFN Regular
1620 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2008 : 08:16:50 [Permalink]
|
Originally posted by BigPapaSmurf
Question: You've just been appointed Secretary of State in the U.S., You have 60 days to find a way to stop the Fertile Crescent insanity. How do you do it?
A slightly harder question today.
|
IMHO, complete disengagement from Isreal is the solution. Isreal's public is much more moderate than it's government and the government would follow suit if their main benefactor, the USofA, dropped its unconditional political and monetary support. |
-Chaloobi
|
|
|
|
BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard
3192 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2008 : 10:11:34 [Permalink]
|
Great and what about the 100,000,000 folks who are adamant about wiping Isreal off the map?
|
"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History
"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini |
|
|
 |
|
Mclaughlin: Isreal/Palestine
