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Marc_a_b
Skeptic Friend
USA
142 Posts |
 Posted - 06/18/2001 : 20:06:37 [Permalink]
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Say!! what about this? Instead of going on the ship, bribe them so the theater on the ship is only playing one movie: Evolution!
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Lisa
SFN Regular
USA
1223 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2001 : 20:16:06 [Permalink]
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quote:
Say!! what about this? Instead of going on the ship, bribe them so the theater on the ship is only playing one movie: Evolution!
Or "The Last Temptation of Christ". Remember all the protests when that came out?
Also anything by Disney. The fundies really seem to hate Disney. 
Lisa
Chaos...Confusion...Destruction...My Work Here Is Done |
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2001 : 20:30:32 [Permalink]
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quote:
There's a group we've forgotten about, who will have it worse than anyone. I mean, you and I decided to go, it's our decision, right? What about the ship's employees? Waiting on people hand and foot, just trying to make a living, and suddenly they find themselves trapped with these yo-yos for a week to ten days. Wonder how many will call in sick?
Could have 'em bring out a loaf of bread and a fish to have Hovind call in for miracle number 26 to feed the masses. (while we're catered to 'hand and foot'!)
quote:
Say!! what about this? Instead of going on the ship, bribe them so the theater on the ship is only playing one movie: Evolution!
quote:
Or "The Last Temptation of Christ". Remember all the protests when that came out?
Also anything by Disney. The fundies really seem to hate Disney.
"Life of Brian" would get 'em all to jump ship! |
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Zandermann
Skeptic Friend
USA
431 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2001 : 20:41:46 [Permalink]
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quote:
"Life of Brian" would get 'em all to jump ship!
and we could finish off with the "Spanish Inquisition" scene from "History of the World".
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rubysue
Skeptic Friend
USA
199 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2001 : 21:19:58 [Permalink]
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quote:
What about the ship's employees? Waiting on people hand and foot, just trying to make a living, and suddenly they find themselves trapped with these yo-yos for a week to ten days.
It could be really ugly for those poor folks working on the cruise ship. Let's contemplate this situation for our cruise staff with a patented rubysue "in fun only" stereotype of a Dr. Dino Cruise crazed YEC fundie :
1) Rarely smiles, usually views others with deep suspicion, particularly those from other races or countries (or god forbid, other religions or sects). "Laughter is the tool of the devil to easily trap you into sin".
2) Doesn't give generous tips or any tips at all to the staff - "God helps those who help themselves." Instead, hands their waiter/busboy/cabin steward Chick tracks and Dr. Dino pamphlets and tells them to worry about their eternal souls rather than their bankroll.
3) Avoids the bars and the casino like the plague (Note: see comment at the end* - this behavior isn't limited to my stereotyped fundies). For the first time in the history of a Carnival cruise, there is enough rum left over to fill the swimming pools. The next cruise group benefits from the barely played slot machines and wins enough to buy all that leftover rum (and a great time was had by all. )
4) Studiously avoids the sun, the pool and the gym (unless you have one of those strange YEC fundies with a dual addiction to Jesus and endorphins; usually they're addicted to Jesus and Chips Ahoy - ooooh, that was low!) All that exposed flesh would only lead to unholy thoughts and actions, anyway...
5) Buys out the complete stock of Precious Moments and Hummels in the ship gift shop. Plenty of sunscreen and bikinis left on the racks, though....
[comment from above: * We took an eclipse cruise to the southern Caribbean in February, 1998. Although we had no problems mixing some Blackjack fun in the sun and adult beverages with a little observing and the thrill of our first total solar eclipse, as seen from the south beaches of Aruba, the cruise staff complained about how minimal the bar sales were overall and the casino was almost completely deserted throughout the cruise. So I guess the hardcore sky observers were just as narrowly focused as any other group of zealots - there were even nasty, religious-like arguments about Celestron versus Meade and CCD versus film processing on deck every night!].
By the way, this was a satire and any resemblance to any real person, living or dead, is a coincidence.
rubysue
If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun.
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2001 : 22:58:43 [Permalink]
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Funny! funny! he,he! Now Rubysue, please excuse me here, while I re-write your cruise for christ diary but this time with the stoic flair of Jack Webb from Dragnet.....
The story you are about to read could be true. The names have not been change because they're not innocent.
"At 8:32am, Dr. Hovind starts his early morning prayer service on Satan in the Devil's Triangle and it's demonic effects on the tilt of the Earth axis.
'SIM-BA-LA-HO-LAMA-SHE-KA-LA-DO!!' shouts-in-many-tongues the learned Dr. Dino.
'I smite you heathen devil that causes our Earth to be slanted in a most ungodly way!'
The 452 seated guests were then observed listing heavily to the left, then to the right, to the back, - followed by several moans.
At precisely 9:07am, a stealthy group of Skeptic Friends burst forward, towards the Dr., screaming wildly and shaking rubbersnakes all over in the air!
'DR. KEN! DR. KEN! - SAVE US, SAVE US! The--devil--snakes--are--eating--our--flesh--and--stealing--our--souls!'
Exactly at 9:12am, the seemingly rabid group of snake handlers then hurled their 18 slithering, slimy, fake reptiles up and over the now shrieking crowd of Hovind followers, - where upon they all jumped out of their seats and ran mass-herd out and over the guardrails of the cruise ship.
At 9:14am Dr. Hovind's lower jaw was observed to hit the deck. A ship's nurse was called at 9:15am and wheeled the Dr. out on a two-wheel hand truck to parts unknown.
The sneaky stealthy skeptic squad was then observed to gather at the bar in the back for several rounds of drinks, followed by a drunken afternoon of many games of shuffleboard.
===================
EPILOG:
At last report Dr. Hovind was seen selling hubcaps and grass skirts at a nearby island tourist shop."
dun-
dun-dun-dun
dun-
dun-dun-dun-DUN......
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bestonnet_00
Skeptic Friend
Australia
358 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2001 : 05:05:28 [Permalink]
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Maybe we could get the ships employees on our side.
Although I have another idea.
For a while I have been wondering if it might be possible to steal a nuclear sub from the Russians.
Their naval base security is so shitty it would probably be possible, just go in the hole in the fence.
Then take the sub, start its reactor(s) and move it out.
Use the sub to torpedo the cruise ship, or come up alongside and do a little piracy.
Actually thinking about it, that might be a good way to make a living and even fund a few skeptic TV stations.
Just have to make sure no one decides to arrest us.
NOTE: Maybe those who were calling me insane were right, but then again, maybe not.
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Boron10
Religion Moderator
USA
1266 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2001 : 08:24:41 [Permalink]
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Then take the sub, start its reactor(s) and move it out.
I like it; however, I strongly reccomend using a diesel sub. I have read many incident reports regarding Russians and nuclear power: it would be a good idea to stay away from anything they have used.
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The Rat
SFN Regular
Canada
1370 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2001 : 15:13:55 [Permalink]
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I like it; however, I strongly reccomend using a diesel sub. I have read many incident reports regarding Russians and nuclear power: it would be a good idea to stay away from anything they have used.
I had a book called 'The Threat' by Andrew Cockburn (and would the lousy bugger who borrowed it please return it!). Basically it detailed the sorry technological state of the Cold War Soviet forces to show that they were actually not much of a threat at all. Anyhooooo... Apparently U.S. Admiral Elmo Zumwalt once went on a goodwill tour of a Russian nuclear sub. Checking his radiation dosimeter when he finished he found that he had accumulated more radiation in that brief tour than he had during many years of service aboard American nuclear vessels.
Hey, let's get Dr. Dino a surplus one for the exclusive use of his tour groups!
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bestonnet_00
Skeptic Friend
Australia
358 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2001 : 03:38:14 [Permalink]
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Diesel subs can't stay underwater for long enough.
But we only need to go underwater when we are close to them, then surface right beside them, shouldn't be too hard.
For diesels the Kilo class would do nicely.
As for nuclear subs I would like to know what class the tour was on, as it might have been one of the older ones (which aren't know for being safe).
Maybe if we could get an old November, Hotel or Echo we could give it to him.
If we're lucky it might even melt-down on them (those old subs had a nasty habit of doing that).
The newer Russian subs are designed far safer, but still they do lag somewhat behind other subs.
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Bozola
Skeptic Friend
USA
166 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2001 : 08:46:07 [Permalink]
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Simpler, how about we just convince Customs not to let them back in the country after the tour?
Bozola
- Practicing skeet for the Rapture. |
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Lisa
SFN Regular
USA
1223 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2001 : 10:40:22 [Permalink]
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quote:
Simpler, how about we just convince Customs not to let them back in the country after the tour?
Bozola
- Practicing skeet for the Rapture.
Now that would add a whole new twist on the Flying Dutchman!
A question for those of you who have any knowledge of legal matters. Suppose Ed and I sign up for a cruise/vacation/tour, get there and find out we're sharing breathing room with a bunch of fundies. Would we have any recourse? I don't think going on a cruise and finding it booked with 50% crankcases would rank on my top 10 vacations. Would a cruise company have any obligation to tell me at the time of booking there was going to be a "convention" on board?
Lisa
Chaos...Confusion...Destruction...My Work Here Is Done |
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Marc_a_b
Skeptic Friend
USA
142 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2001 : 11:02:36 [Permalink]
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I don't think you would have a case. About the only way you can take a vacation completely free of idiots and anoying people would be to make sure there are no other people around at all.
Now if you are minding your own business and the fundies keep preaching or witnessing to you, despite repeated complaints, then you would have a case of harrasement against the individual.
Not sure if the company would be oblidged to warn you about conventions. Probably not, especialy if you signed up before the convention was booked.
Another popular cruise is a yearly one with mediums Suzane Northrop and James Van Praahg. Maybe we can arange both groups to be on the same ship. Can take care of the whole lot of them at one time.
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bestonnet_00
Skeptic Friend
Australia
358 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2001 : 03:04:18 [Permalink]
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I anyone has some Ebola Reston that might be a good way to keep them from coming to shore.
Just make sure to tell the CDC about it, they send a helicopter to it and find there really is Ebola Reston on the ship.
There is no way that any country will let them come close to their shores, at least not until they are sure that the Ebola has run its course (Reston isn't fatal).
That would be good at keeping them away.
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2001 : 14:49:59 [Permalink]
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quote:
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You could always wind up with a few broken fingers too
Not if tear gas is used, good luck resisting then.
Anyway, about not having enough ammo, I don't like the idea of trying to carry 1000 magazines, maybe I should just try to conceal an FN MAG and a couple of belts.
Everyone bring a belt-fed machine gun.
Now I just hope no one from law enforcement is in here, don't want anyone charged with conspiracy to kill heaps of people (aka murder).
The fact that they deserve to find out if their afterlife truly exists doesn't really matter to the law, only that it was done without the government saying we could do it.
You just wait until you are in international waters.
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