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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
 Posted - 11/27/2004 : 23:33:25
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Even the best of critical thinkers (and I don't categorize myself that way) have a need for even more critical thought in their lives. This thread is for confessions of a lack of critical thought on the part of those posting, in a specific area of life of your choice. Something which you know you should (or shouldn't) do, but don't do (or do) anyway.
And please, this thread is in the Humor folder for a reason: keep it light.
I'll lead by example: Every once in a while, I get an urge for sunflower or pumpkin seeds, salted in the shell. Every time, I tell myself that I'll eat them in a sane manner, but hours later I find that I've been so steadily cracking shells and doing nothing else with my hands (except running the computer mouse) that I've "burnt" my lips and tongue due to not having taken the time to drink anything for those hours. The fingers of my off hand will be similarly severely dehydrated, as that'll be the hand picking up seeds and shoving them between my teeth.
I'm suffering from these symptoms right this moment. It's not as bad as it's ever been, since one time when I did this, I went through most of a six-ounce package of pumpkin seeds, and could feel my pulse in my lips: throb-throb-throb-throb... Kept me awake that night.
I know I should just stay away from the damnable things, but every now and then I attempt to convince myself that I am stronger than the roasted-and-salted deliciousness, even though I reap what I sow every stinking time.
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- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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Cuneiformist
The Imperfectionist
USA
4955 Posts |
Posted - 11/29/2004 : 09:43:41 [Permalink]
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| This happens with me in regards to beer. I'll say to myself "I'm kinda full-- I shouldn't have that beer." Then, next thing you know, I'm having burboun and Coke and chatting here at SFN until 2 in the morning, all of which which leads to a subtle but annoying hangover the next morning. So yeah, more critical thinking. |
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Kil
Evil Skeptic
USA
13477 Posts |
Posted - 11/29/2004 : 10:27:06 [Permalink]
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So, here is how I figured it. I surfed for many many years. I was also decent on a skateboard, and can still do kick turns and such when I ride one. Snowboarding should have been a cinch!
What I didn't take into consideration is that my knees are not what they used to be. That grunting sound every time I stand up should have been a tip off. Getting up from the floor is a three part process now, not including the grunt that can be heard from the next room or the neighbors house, even. So what made me think that I could make it back to an upright position with my feet stuck in the bindings of a slippery-bottomed snowboard on a snowy slope? After spending many minutes with my ass in the snow considering my predicament and noticing that not one of the snowboarders who were whizzing around me (I had become a semi permanent obstacle seemingly put there to test their prowess on snowboard) I noticed that not one of them was as old as I am. I knew that I was having trouble even getting out of bed. But I buried that information because I had the need to “go for it.”
It took my son's help to get me upright no matter how many times I fell, which was most often the very moment I became upright again.
The spirit was willing but the body only looked willing, being up there and all. Many parts of my body are now in full retreat. Plus, I twisted my ankle. So much for all of that surfing experience…
Older people can ski. Next time I go back I will ski. If it wasn't for my very patient son (Boron10) I would still be sitting in the snow wondering how to get back up again. If it had snowed, I would be a mogul by now…
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Uncertainty may make you uncomfortable. Certainty makes you ridiculous.
Why not question something for a change?
Genetic Literacy Project |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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Siberia
SFN Addict
Brazil
2322 Posts |
Posted - 11/29/2004 : 11:24:56 [Permalink]
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Alas, that damned cinnamon-flavored, sugar-free, fat-free chewing gum that keeps your teeth clean and your tummy trim is too much of a temptation.
I know I always chew my cheek in the process. I know it always burns my lips and tongue. But alas, I still consume it. Compulsively. Two-three packages a day, whenever I have two-three packages to chew.
Alas. |
"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 11/29/2004 : 11:45:14 [Permalink]
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"If you don't move, they can't see you," one fool told another.
I was about 11 or 12 when this happened. A favorite bream bait of mine was the larvae from wasp nests. To get them, I'd take a long stick, knock the nest down, then do a creditable, broken-ground, Jesse Owens impression. I'd cautiously return when things settled down and retrive the nest, then I would be off to commit havoc at a local, farm pond.
"If you don't move, they can't see you," and I'd decided to try it. Why run like a lunatic and get all sweaty when it's not necessary?
The nest, red wasps, was quite a large one, perhaps about as big as my hand at that time, under the eaves of an abandoned shed. My stick was some seven or eight feet long with a chopped-off branch at the end to form a rough fork. I eased up to it, carefully slid the fork behind the nest, it's occupants already getting excited, and shoved-- got it on the first try! I dropped the stick and froze.
"If you don't move, they can't see you." Like hell they can't!!
By the time I got my feet working, I'd been stung enough times that fishing was no longer a priority. One or two is no big deal, but more than that will concentrate your entire attention to the exclusion of everything else except making distance.
I do not know how many times I was stung; probably not as many as I thought. But I came straggling home in a lot of pain, with both eyes swollen all but shut and various, fiery lumps here and there, and generally feeling kind of pukish.
Feeling better the next afternoon, I went back to collect the nest, but the ants had gotten at it, a bummer all around. I did manage to win a fist-fight a few days later.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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Wendy
SFN Regular
USA
614 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2004 : 11:29:13 [Permalink]
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| Icicle lights. Every year when I put up the accursed things I realize just as I snap the last section to the gutter that I didn't leave a male connection within reach of the extension cord. And every year I take down and redo a large section of the icicle lights because the plug is way out of reach. Must be a permanent blind spot in my brain. |
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2004 : 12:46:51 [Permalink]
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Geez, I gotta pick one?
1985, I'm working as a kitchen aide in a Boy Scout summer camp. We had one of those industrial size washing machines that have large metal panels that slid up for loading/unloading. When the machine paused between the wash and rinse cycle, I opened the machine. I looked at the cycle indicator before this, and for reasons that still escape me to this day, I opened it anyway. The rinse cycle started in earnest and the spray arm made three to four revolutions before I closed the panel.
Just last summer, I was helping my father-in-law investigate why overhead exterior lights in the garage were not working. Climbing up on a ladder to examine the fixture from the top, I noted a wasps nest on it. I warned my father-in-law about it and promptly went outside to take the fixture apart from underneath. One entertaining dance of pain later (stung three times, once on the cheek), my wife and in-laws were almost in tears laughing at me.
1997, after a night of drinking, I drove home to discover a windstorm had knocked down a 35' maple tree into my fence in the driveway area. After parking, I grabbed a hand saw and climbed into the downed tree to start sawing it apart enough to repair the fence. (Thank the Goddess I didn't own a chainsaw.)
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Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils
Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2004 : 13:16:47 [Permalink]
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Not a personal experience, but it belongs here!
Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.
Whilst working on the fourteenth floor,some bricks I had to clear
To throw them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, the bloody awkward sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladders in my hod.
Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.
And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.
Well the barrel broke my shoulder, as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head
I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, fourteen floors below.
Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
When half way down, I met the bloody barrel once again.
The force of this collision, half way up the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel scattered round.
I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.
The barrel then being heavier then started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
It broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.
Author unknown
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend
Sweden
9688 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2004 : 13:33:34 [Permalink]
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A nice winter day when I was twelve or thirteen, My father ordered my out to clear the snow from the driveway in front of the garage. Not being fond of physical labor I tried to think of applying some kind of mechanical help. Noone in the neighbour had a rotary snow-plough, but I remembered how the lawn-mover used to throw out grass on the side. You know, the standing axle rotor, that uses the centrifugal effect for dispersing the grass...
It didn't work as well as I thought. The disc that the knives are attached to doubles as the flywheel. The sub-zero temperature made the center-nut metal just a tad too brittle to cope with the vibrations from the crankshaft of the engine, and rather quickly split in half, rendering the lawnmover inoperable.
Let's just say my dad wasn't very happy about it.
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Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3
"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse
Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder. |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend
Sweden
9688 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2004 : 14:35:43 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Ricky
Well, at least that would make him think twice before telling you to do something again, Mab.
Well, it took a few years more after that before I got a little more mechanically inclined. Still, fine-mechanics and electionics are stuff that whispers their secrets to me, not heavy machinery. |
Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3
"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse
Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2004 : 03:04:26 [Permalink]
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Deleted as inapproate. The need for critical thought was certainly there, but, upon reflection, it wasn't particulary funny.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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| Edited by - filthy on 12/07/2004 03:11:11 |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26022 Posts |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2004 : 08:40:46 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
Are you saying, filthy, that you needed more critical thought when posting whatever it was the first time?
Alas, 'tis true; all too true.
Too often, my enthusiasm overloads my cerebal process'.  At least, this time I didn't get snakebit for it. 
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Siberia
SFN Addict
Brazil
2322 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2004 : 10:26:03 [Permalink]
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Or wasp stung  |
"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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