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UncleJ
New Member
41 Posts |
 Posted - 12/16/2005 : 22:37:39 [Permalink]
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The war on Christmas!
Can you picture it?
A grizzled looking soldier kneels down using a stick to draw the battle plan in the snow
“OK men, this is the plan. Team one will flank the reindeer from the left. I want those reindeer taken out before they can get in the air. If any manage to get through, I want the antiaircraft team ready to knock ‘em bastards out of the sky.”
“Team two, left flank. We think it's defended by two platoons of elf troopers. They're bound to have planted a few holly mines, so watch your step.”
“Flamethrower crew, you're taking out the Christmas trees. Once you have ‘em lit up you'll need watch out for shrapnel from the exploding bulbs.”
“Command team, you're with me. Our objective will to take out the man in the red suit. As soon as we are in range hit him with everything you've got. His fat belly armor may protect the bastard. If we can't get him with small arms fire, I'll call in an artillery strike.”
“Every one of you needs to be on the lookout for Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the Magi. Battalion intelligence has reports they're in the area. If any of the nativity crowd gets a hold of you, you're done for. They'll lock you in a interrogation room and preach until you're either dead or converted.”
“Keep to your assignments and you'll all come out of this fine, and remember, I love the smell of eggnog in the morning, smells like victory!”
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"The Church says the Earth is flat. But I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the Moon. And I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church." - F. Magellan
"I can't be a missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus!" - H. Simpson |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2005 : 06:31:52 [Permalink]
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A summation of the matter: quote:
Tell me to Have a Merry Christmas, or Else!
Recently, the Christo-Fascists have been wringing their hands over the "liberal attacks" on Christmas. Even their faithful Evangelical champion at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has forsaken them. Bush's sin? He dared to send out cards that said "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". This has created a significant uproar amongst the “Goodly Christian Fundamentalists”. Besides attacking their beloved president, they are threatening to boycott retailers (like Target) which do not include “Merry Christmas” in their marketing or store displays. The American occupation of Iraq has caused the deaths of over 100,000 Iraqis, 2,000 plus American soldiers have died in Iraq, at least 1,000 Americans died (and hundreds of thousands lost virtually everything they owned) in Hurricane Katrina due to the federal government's abdication of its responsibility to "promote the general Welfare", 45 million Americans are without health insurance, over a million Americans are homeless, the CIA and US military regularly engage in abuse and torture, the Patriot Act has seriously eroded the Bill of Rights, and the US continues its neocolonial practices to economically rape nations around the globe. Christo-Fascist voters, leaders, and politicians bear a great deal of responsibility for these tragedies as they have supported, shaped and orchestrated the malevolent US government policies behind these violations of international law and human rights, war crimes, and instances of criminal neglect. Yet they have the hypocrisy to raise a significant issue over "Merry Christmas"? It is simply mind-boggling.
The whole thing is one of the better rants on the state of fundementalist Christianity in the US. If you are not alarmed, you should be.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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the_ignored
SFN Addict
2562 Posts |
Posted - 12/18/2005 : 03:13:16 [Permalink]
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| http://www.au.org/popup_falwell_xmasletter |
>From: enuffenuff@fastmail.fm
(excerpt follows):
> I'm looking to teach these two bastards a lesson they'll never forget.
> Personal visit by mates of mine. No violence, just a wee little chat.
>
> **** has also committed more crimes than you can count with his
> incitement of hatred against a religion. That law came in about 2007
> much to ****'s ignorance. That is fact and his writing will become well
> know as well as him becoming a publicly known icon of hatred.
>
> Good luck with that fuckwit. And Reynold, fucking run, and don't stop.
> Disappear would be best as it was you who dared to attack me on my
> illness knowing nothing of the cause. You disgust me and you are top of
> the list boy. Again, no violence. Just regular reminders of who's there
> and visits to see you are behaving. Nothing scary in reality. But I'd
> still disappear if I was you.
What brought that on? this. Original posting here.
Another example of this guy's lunacy here. |
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beskeptigal
SFN Die Hard
USA
3834 Posts |
Posted - 12/18/2005 : 12:35:01 [Permalink]
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| It's interesting that Bill 'pornography' O'Reilly pretends to be such a Christian. I wonder if he goes to church? |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/18/2005 : 15:06:06 [Permalink]
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Dude
SFN Die Hard
USA
6891 Posts |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/21/2005 : 06:13:06 [Permalink]
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O'Reilly seems to have realized that he has stepped on his pecker, a habit of his, and now thinks "Happy Holidays" is ok after all.
quote:
O'Reilly retreats in "war on Christmas," declaring: " 'Happy Holidays'is fine'
Summary: On The O'Reilly Factor, host Bill O'Reilly apparently reversed his previous position that the phrase "Happy Holidays" is offensive, stating, " 'Happy Holidays' is fine, just don't ban 'Merry Christmas.' " O'Reilly has previously claimed the term "Happy Holidays" is offensive to "millions of Christians" and 'insulting to Christian America."
He was having a love-in with Newt Gingrich at the time. The consensus arrived at seems to have been that the media is hoplessly liberal *yawn*, and we're all being led astray from Jesus as a result.
Oh, and we'd damned well better not try and ban "Merry Christmas!", as if anyone is trying, or even much cares. What a maroon!
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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| Edited by - filthy on 12/21/2005 07:25:29 |
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 12/21/2005 : 09:50:30 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by filthy
O'Reilly seems to have realized that he has stepped on his pecker, a habit of his, and now thinks "Happy Holidays" is ok after all.
quote:
O'Reilly retreats in "war on Christmas," declaring: " 'Happy Holidays'is fine'
Summary: On The O'Reilly Factor, host Bill O'Reilly apparently reversed his previous position that the phrase "Happy Holidays" is offensive, stating, " 'Happy Holidays' is fine, just don't ban 'Merry Christmas.' " O'Reilly has previously claimed the term "Happy Holidays" is offensive to "millions of Christians" and 'insulting to Christian America."
He was having a love-in with Newt Gingrich at the time. The consensus arrived at seems to have been that the media is hoplessly liberal *yawn*, and we're all being led astray from Jesus as a result.
Oh, and we'd damned well better not try and ban "Merry Christmas!", as if anyone is trying, or even much cares. What a maroon!
Yesterday, I had to deal with the DMV. The person behind the counter wished me a Merry Christmas. So I wished her a Happy Yule. She seemed a little corn-fused. |
Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils
Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion |
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Starman
SFN Regular
Sweden
1613 Posts |
Posted - 12/22/2005 : 01:12:00 [Permalink]
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Merry Kitzmiller to ya all!
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