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Kaneda Kuonji
Skeptic Friend
USA
138 Posts |
 Posted - 01/23/2002 : 21:18:15
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And the Lord came forth, and saw the tired students, with exhaustion from their nights. So, in need of it Himself, he proclaimed "LET THEIR BE CAFFEINE!" And Lo! There was caffeine. He then proclaimed to the masses:
"BEHOLD!I GIVE UNTO YOU THE GREAT EQUALIZER! With this, you may have the power to stay awake through those nights of study, and the strength with which to compete with those who have the energy. But be careful, for it to be used in moderation, lest addiction come forth!"
But alas, for the Lord himself was not immune, and so created fundamentalists out of a delirium tremen!
Rodney Dean, CI Order of the Knights of Jubal
Ivbalis.org
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 01/24/2002 : 02:21:06 [Permalink]
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Recipe for the Sacred Coffee of the Lord:
Findest thou a pot of the largest size, anointed by the blood of a lamb, and fillest it from the fountains of the earth. Also place therein as many of the Grindings of the Bean of Enlightenment as will top thy most generous measure. Place it upon a fire that has consumed the body of a sacrificed virgin and boileth it until the demons within are exorcised. Thou shalt know of the realease of the demons by placing within a talasman of iron. If therefore, the talasman sinketh unto the bottom of the pot, verely the pot shalt be caused to boil until the talasman doth float. Only then might the Essence of the Bean pass thy lips.
(chuckle)
f (Coffee addict since age 11. "Black as hate, hot as hell and strong enough to float an anvil!")
The more I learn about people, the better I like rattlesnakes. |
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Garrette
SFN Regular
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2002 : 05:14:14 [Permalink]
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One of my favorite comics ever was one Sunday strip from "Shoe". It showed several panels of the main character (Shoe, a grizzled, curmudgeonly old bird--literally--who edited a newspaper) sitting at a diner smoking a big stogie and drinking a steaming cup of black coffee. He thinks a bit then looks at the waitress and says:
"You know you're getting old when the things that give you the most pleasure taste bad and burn your mouth."
My kids still love me. |
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 11:31:57 [Permalink]
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You mean 6 pots of coffee a day isn't normal!?
Ambrosia pure. Keeping the Caffeine gods happy is my lifes work.
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There is no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our world. It underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've known. Sagan |
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Xev
Skeptic Friend
USA
329 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 12:00:59 [Permalink]
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Last night, Lady Caffa spoke to me in a dream.
"Verily, I say onto you, let thy coffee be strong. Takest thou then half and half and add it to the sacred brew, while piling in suger enough to drown a camel. Your dentist's whining shall be the sacrifice you make to me. Go forth then, and drink deep from the fount of eternal awakeness"
She was dark black, resplendent in a pure white robe with a halo of suger surrounding her head. She handed me a mug with witty sayings on it and left.
Xev-Come not between the creationist and his pseudoscience-Bellringer |
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@tomic
Administrator
USA
4607 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 12:42:13 [Permalink]
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You would defile coffee with sugar? Cream is bad enough!
@tomic
Gravity, not just a good idea...it's the law! |
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 12:45:33 [Permalink]
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Plagues on you Xev. Nothing shall defile the ambrosia. Nothing I say!
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There is no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our world. It underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've known. Sagan |
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 13:30:07 [Permalink]
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quote:
Plagues on you Xev. Nothing shall defile the ambrosia. Nothing I say!
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There is no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our world. It underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've known. Sagan
Oh great preistess of Java. I offer a mantra to recite.
"It is by caffiene alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beens of Java that the thoughts aquire speed, the hands aquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffiene alone I set my mind in motion."
When the coffee is black as coal and pours like mollasses. It's ready.
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Donnie B.
Skeptic Friend
417 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 13:42:39 [Permalink]
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Never drink the stuff, myself. Never could stand the taste, even in other foods (like the mocha-flavored centers in some chocolates).
You may now rain down your scorn upon me.
-- Donnie B.
Brian: "No, no! You have to think for yourselves!" Crowd: "Yes! We have to think for ourselves!" |
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 13:51:43 [Permalink]
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quote:
Never drink the stuff, myself. Never could stand the taste, even in other foods (like the mocha-flavored centers in some chocolates).
You may now rain down your scorn upon me.
-- Donnie B.
Brian: "No, no! You have to think for yourselves!" Crowd: "Yes! We have to think for ourselves!"
Ah the coffee gods are hard task masters. Alas, not all are worthy of the onerous burden they would lay upon those who would devoutly follow their rule.
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There is no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our world. It underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've known. Sagan |
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 14:51:22 [Permalink]
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quote:
Oh great preistess of Java. I offer a mantra to recite.
"It is by caffiene alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beens of Java that the thoughts aquire speed, the hands aquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffiene alone I set my mind in motion."
When the coffee is black as coal and pours like mollasses. It's ready.
So long under the spell of the Java Bean have I been that the shakes are warning of impending doom from the coffee gods. Should I not offer up sacrifice of the proper brew their will is that I shall not function. Alas, despite the great powers of the coffee gods another calls and to sleep I must.
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There is no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our world. It underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've known. Sagan |
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ktesibios
SFN Regular
USA
505 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2002 : 23:00:29 [Permalink]
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I'm with Xev on this one. 7mm of sugar on the bottom of the mug, pour the brew on top of it, chuck in enough cream that at the first sip I can feel the lard heading straight for my butt... only by this ritual will the great god Caffeine and her attendant deity Sucrose grant me the grace of the Pre-Psychotic Turbo Boost so necessary to my work.
Boris Karloff died for your sins. |
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Tim
SFN Regular
USA
775 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2002 : 02:24:12 [Permalink]
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Every night, the sun sets, and the old double Bunn is heated up with two full pots of Louisiana's own Community Dark Roast--Strong, dark, and always served pure. The first cup is as close to God as I will probably ever come. An hour later, the third cup faintly reminds me of that double espesso at Cafe Milano. Another hour passes, and I find the only redeeming quality is it's warmth, and the habit of keeping my 16 ounce stainless steel tumbler busy. As the mid-night hour approaches, three packages of sugar, and an equal amount of immitation dairy product is all that makes it palatable. My tumbler still close at hand, I think that nearby Atchafalaya River bottom mud is as tasty, but has no caffiene.
And, I wonder why I sleep so little....
"The Constitution ..., is a marvelous document for self-government by Christian people. But the minute you turn the document into the hands of non-Christian and atheistic people they can use it to destroy the very foundation of our society." P. Robertson |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2002 : 05:54:02 [Permalink]
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Cream and sugar!?!? Ackkkk! Barf!! (filthy staggers about, certain that he's having a massive coronary at the mere thought of polluting The Brew with such foul condiments).
Shudder!
f
"They will take away my Darwin Fish after they pry it off my cold, dead bumper!" |
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Garrette
SFN Regular
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 04:55:55 [Permalink]
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I'm with filthy in that no cream and sugar should be added (at least most of the time). But I go a step further and risk being burned at the stake: I drink caffeine-free.
My kids still love me. |
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 10:06:33 [Permalink]
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quote:
I'm with filthy in that no cream and sugar should be added (at least most of the time). But I go a step further and risk being burned at the stake: I drink caffeine-free.
My kids still love me.
You drink mutilated coffee!?
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There is no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our world. It underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've known. Sagan |
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