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Kaneda Kuonji
Skeptic Friend
USA
138 Posts |
 Posted - 03/11/2002 : 01:25:58
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We here at Dean manufacturing feel that nothing should go to waste. So, we have been compelled to find many new ways to use the dreaded Chick Tract.
1) Victim of a poisoning? A Chick Tract is one of the most powerful purgatives imaginable. Just looking at one induces vomiting.
2) In a bathroom where there is no TP? Simply keep a Chick Tract in your back pocket, and never have to worry about restroom breaks or nosebleeds again.
3) Need to get rid of that religious zealot? Simply tear up a Chick Tract in front of the zealot. This creates a field of energy that prevents the zealot from returning.
4) Also, Chick tracts burn very well. Consider using them in place of firewood or charcoal in your next camping trip or cookout.
5) Need something to help toilet train your pets? Chick tracts can be helpful here too. Just mail the tract back to the publisher in a padded envelope afterwards!
6) Need fertilizer? Instead of shoveling tons of manure, simply bury several Chick tracts around the tree. Few people know that these tracts are high in manure content...
(I need to publish this, just so I can PO the religious right)
Rodney Dean, CI Order of the Knights of Jubal
Ivbalis.org
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Lars_H
SFN Regular
Germany
630 Posts |
Posted - 03/11/2002 : 01:50:29 [Permalink]
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I don't understand why there should be a problem on what to do with compostables. Don't you have waste paper recycling?
But If you could tell me what to do with all those extra AOL-CDs I would be very gratefull. (No more mobile or coasters)
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Kaneda Kuonji
Skeptic Friend
USA
138 Posts |
Posted - 03/11/2002 : 04:00:05 [Permalink]
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Okay, then...frisbees!! AOL disks make fine, cheap, and replaceable throwing disks. They also make fine shooting pigeons. Their shiny appearance can be used to bait annoying forest creatures like raccoons!
Rodney Dean, CI Order of the Knights of Jubal
Ivbalis.org
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 03/11/2002 : 11:03:17 [Permalink]
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Practical consideration for excessive numbers of CDs...spacers between sawblades.
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There is no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our world. It underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've known. Sagan |
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