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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 08/09/2004 : 02:54:16 [Permalink]
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quote:
Q: Does it float or sink?
A: It depends upon which candidate get's elected. (Sorry, couldn't resist it.  )
Q: How often do you wash your 'possum?
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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SciFi Chick
Skeptic Friend
USA
99 Posts |
Posted - 08/09/2004 : 11:33:10 [Permalink]
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A: I can't get the car to start.
Q: Why is filing necessary? |
"There is no 'I' in TEAM, but there is an 'M' and an 'E'." -Carson
"Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud."
-Sophocles |
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tomk80
SFN Regular
Netherlands
1278 Posts |
Posted - 08/09/2004 : 15:59:17 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by SciFi Chick
Q: Why is filing necessary?
A: That's obvious. Filing cabinets are mostly made of metal.
Q: Will the 9th episode of Starwars ever be filmed? |
Tom
`Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, `if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'
-Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Caroll- |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 08/09/2004 : 19:36:46 [Permalink]
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quote:
Q: If I have a cross made out of kryptonite, will it ward off Superman and Dracula? (and yes, that was taken from Jack Handey)
A: Yes, but a cross super-vampire will poison your breakfast.
Q: Speaking of breakfast, do you like brains and eggs?
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Wulfstan
New Member
USA
42 Posts |
Posted - 08/09/2004 : 21:28:24 [Permalink]
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quote:
Q: Speaking of breakfast, do you like brains and eggs?
A. I prefer not to have deep conversations with my date in the morning.
Q. Have you ever gone spelunking? |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2004 : 02:20:14 [Permalink]
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quote:
Q. Have you ever gone spelunking?
A: Dark and stormy nights are the best time steal stalagmites.
Q: Given an unlimited choice, upon who's grave would you most like to dance the drunken boogaloo?
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Wulfstan
New Member
USA
42 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2004 : 06:19:23 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by filthy
quote:
Q. Have you ever gone spelunking?
A: Dark and stormy nights are the best time steal stalagmites.
Q: Given an unlimited choice, upon who's grave would you most like to dance the drunken boogaloo?
Filthy, where do you come up with these questions, LOL! (you stalagmite thief, you).
quote:
Q: Given an unlimited choice, upon who's grave would you most like to dance the drunken boogaloo?
A. I gave up drinking five years ago and I'm not a good dancer. 
Q. Have you ever thrown buffalo chips? |
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tomk80
SFN Regular
Netherlands
1278 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2004 : 07:18:35 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Wulfstan
Q. Have you ever thrown buffalo chips?
A: If I recall correctly the indians caught buffalos, although I doubt they made use of computers.
Q: What is the difference between a yellow and a blue beach ball? |
Tom
`Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, `if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'
-Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Caroll- |
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2004 : 14:16:41 [Permalink]
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quote:
Q: What is the difference between a yellow and a blue beach ball?
A: A black tie is required at a yellow beach ball.
Q: Why is no tie required at a blue beach ball? |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2004 : 16:43:38 [Permalink]
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quote:
Q: Why is no tie required at a blue beach ball?
A: We have all had tracheotomies. (I had another answer, but it was really not approprate.  )
Q: Why was that first answer not approprate?
Edited to remove inapproprate answer.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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| Edited by - filthy on 08/10/2004 16:45:06 |
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moakley
SFN Regular
USA
1888 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2004 : 17:47:35 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by filthy
Q: Why was that first answer not approprate?
A. You were incrementing your loop improperly.
Q. Did you see who was arrested in Charlotte ? |
Life is good
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 08/11/2004 : 02:43:48 [Permalink]
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quote:
Q: What is the weirdest question you ever asked someone?
A: We are set upon a holy quest to wrest wisdom from intellectual sewage, rather like that Spanish fellow with the funny name.
Q: Visiting my favorite cafe, would you have the chitterlings and collards, or the big ol' platter of fried lizard gizzards?
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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tomk80
SFN Regular
Netherlands
1278 Posts |
Posted - 08/16/2004 : 05:18:31 [Permalink]
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A: When I go to pub, I usually get my martini's stirred, not shaken.
Q: Is James Bond really english? |
Tom
`Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, `if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'
-Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Caroll- |
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